Thanks everyone who has replied so far.I was an emotional wreck Monday and it's been getting better slowly since.But tonight I was again feeling the need for comfort.I'm feeling overly emotional and upset.I keep having dreams of my Grandpa struggling for breath.It scares me and freaks me out to hear this sound in my dreams.I wake up sweating and scared with no one to talk to or hug.
I know it's a process with grief and it will take time but I've never in my life felt like this with another human that died.I've always been able to just say "ok life goes on" and be done with it.That probally sounds really cold to most of you but I've always bottled my feelings up and just put them on a shelf and never looked at them again.I've been working on this expressing my feelings and letting them out.I think this thread is progress because I can admit without fear that I have feelings and I'm upset and hurting and I need comfort from others.
I can't really talk to my Mom about my own emotional needs at the moment because she lost her father.I'm trying to be there for her and I've been putting my own feelings on the back burner.But tonight I didn't go to work and I decided to have a beer or two and it seems to have brought my feelings up.Anyway thanks for listening.