And being raised in a broken home is healthy? Having to live in a small apartment when they are use to a nice size house is healthy? Having to move every other year away from their school because that's the only way the family can survive is healthy? Not having the proper foods on the table as they were use to is healthy?
FF, I'm sorry to hear that you feel so badly right now. A lot of times we set ourselves up and allow negative thought processes to creep in to our repertoire. These questions you are asking appear on the surface to be doing that. Our mindset in how we approach our problems is something we pass along to our kids. Reframing how you think about something can help you put these negative thoughts into a more positive point of view. Maybe you can arrange for some counselling through your college to help you learn this important skill. Whether our attitude toward life is negative or positive, that's what we teach our kids. Ask yourself what you want to teach your kids.
Here are some examples of what I mean:
You said "being raised in a broken home is healthy?"
Try: "my kids have two parents who love them very much and are doing the best we can in our circumstances; we don't have to live together in a loveless relationship in order to love our kids"
You said: "Having to live in a small apartment when they are use to a nice size house is healthy?"
Try: "I am showing my kids how important it is to live within our means, the importance of having an education to achieve financial success, and that they can get along just fine without all the material things I can no longer afford. The kids won't be hurt by learning to delay gratification."
You said: "Having to move every other year away from their school because that's the only way the family can survive is healthy?"
Try: "Moving to different schools can be hard, but the kids are making new friends every time. It's great to see them learning to socialize with such a variety of kids their ages."
You said: "Not having the proper foods on the table as they were use to is healthy?"
Try: "I'm going to learn to be a super thrifty shopper, and learn to cook healthy meals on a shoestring budget. If other people can do it, I can too. It's not healthy to indulge kids with fast food or snack foods. There's nothing wrong with big pots of homemade soups and stews for dinner, or a piece of fruit or cheese and crackers for snacks."
I bet you can find all kinds of suggestions to stretch your finances on the various frugal living sites that are out there. I bet you can find some free cooking classes for yourself, and even tons of free activities to do with your kids so that they don't feel as though they are missing out on stuff. We still use most of the frugal lifestyle tips that I learned when I was in college, including finding free and very inexpensive activities to do with the kids.
