Please DUMP HIM!
He is using and controlling you, you don't deserve that.
I know it's hard but it will be easier now than if you keep getting in deeper.
Hello.
by emilyblue 61 Replies latest social relationships
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eddie c
This guy sure knows how to treat a lady. He took you to a Jw Convention,now that must have been wonderful. And then he takes you to a bar,with his friend,and then complains about how much he spent and this after taking money from you previously.......hes such a romantic guy.
Emily,its painful to see that your seff esteem is so low that you put up with this kind of treatment. This man needs help...but not from you. As others have said...run..run. It may be painful at first but you will feel so much better later.
Eddie
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JK666
Emily,
First, Take a deep breath.
There has been very strong suggestions for you on this board to get out of this relationship. Yet you are still in love with this guy.
You are thinking with your emotions, and are not being rational. My suggestion is to make a list of pros and cons about the relationship. BE sure to write this down, instead of just have these thoughts swirling in you head. This will help you to see the relationship for what it trully is.
The posters here are just able to see your situation objectively. I have been in highly dysfunctional relationships in the past, and thought that others were being mean when they spoke out of concern to me. I was the type that had extreme (stupid) loyalty to people that didn't deserve it.
If the relationship didn't work the the first thirty times, the thirty-first is the charm! Please take an accurate inventory of your situation and not fall into that trap.
JK
P.S. Don't give him more money till you figure this out!
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mimimimi
Emily,
There are so many things wrong with this picture that I don't even know where to start. So I am not going to. I am just going to say that you need to run in the opposite direction as fast as you can, and while you are running, stop off somewhere for counseling to find out why you would be attracted to someone who would treat you so badly. And don't get involved with anyone else until you have learned the answer to that question and can make a better decision on the man in your life. You deserve much better than this.
This guy would be a poor choice even if he was not a JW. He is sick on so many levels.
Mimi
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BizzyBee
Emily,
Did you see that movie, "Titanic"? Remember the part where the big ship full of people hit an iceberg and started to sink very fast? OK, remember the part where people were trying to get off the ship and into lifeboats as fast as they could? OK, do you remember anybody stopping to rearrange the deck chairs before the ship went down? Right.
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mrsjones5
Emily,
I just read through your post and haven't read any of the other commenst but I feel safe to say that the others have told your to drop this jerk and run and I'm gonna tell you the same thing. Please please please, drop him like a hot potato. Trust me if you dare to marry this guy it's only going to get worst and god forbid you have any children with him cuz it will be hell on earth. You deserve so much better, you deserve a man who's going to treat you right, this man ain't it.
Josie
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LeslieV
Emily...2 ex-wives for this boozo???????????????? Should this not be telling you to run like hell. Please put yourself first, he is a controlling jerk, who will destroy your self-esteem and self-worth.
Leslie
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AlmostAtheist
>> I just read through your post and haven't read any of the other commenst but I feel safe to say that the others have told your to drop this jerk and run
I did read the other comments and found it impressive that there was not one poster that said anything other than "drop this guy". This is a very diverse group of people with varying backgrounds and experiences. In all of that cross-section of humans, NOBODY thinks this guy deserves another moment of your life.
Run, Em'. You'll love again, and next time it might be someone that actually deserves it.
Dave
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bigdreaux
the two ex-wives stuck out for me too. not that he has 2 ex-wives, but, from what you said, he told you, you are just like them. typical for people like this, they are always the victim, and everyone else is bad and out to get them . typical jw mentality.
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J-ex-W
Emily-------- Just read your post, after sending you a PM.
Sorry you're still struggling with this one.
He has been through a lot in his life, and I never intended to add to his pain. Just when I thought we had reached an uneasy truce on our religious differences, I have to pull a Girls Gone Wild moment and tell a poop-related joke at a bar.
Emily, this is the empathy/ concern for fellow man that a CON ARTIST relies--preys upon--every time.
He seeks to actively CULTIVATE sympathy and guilt in you--inappropriate guilt--by planting deep into the rich, fertile soil of your empathy/ concern. That soil is precious--don't allow him to deplete it of its rich reserves, by over-cultivation. [Hint: Over-cultivation--full exploitation--is exactly what his type aims for, every time.] It's your job to cultivate your own soil and 'let out' the 'lots' to only people appropriately deserving: People who will give something--equal--back to the land that they are extracting 'nutrients' from.
Hon...in his mind--and he wants it to be this way in yours, too...it will always be your fault and your responsibility--no matter how unjust, no matter how unreasonable, no matter how minute. [And believe me--what you are describing here is minute!] In fact, it doesn't matter how many glaringly flagrant errors you make, they will never stack up to equalling the trememdously HUGE DEFICITS in CHARACTER that this individual operates from.
You have a good heart/ good intentions toward the needs of those around you. Practice applying the benefits of those good-hearted intentions toward yourself, toward your own needs. You know darned well you would be telling any girlfriend who approached you with these stories to cut and run........................................
The fact that you know that is exactly why you are here. You are looking for outside [outside the relationship--which is a GOOD thing!!]--confirmation of what your gut is already telling you. The confirmation is here. Your gut tells you correctly. He IS out of line.............................and you are completely withIN the bounds of human decency and loving compassion to dump his sorry ass.
It's the only decent and lovingly compassionate thing to DO for yourself.
Your self deserves that...from YOU.............
J-ex-W
p.s. Here is a link I was about to post before seeing that your note was online. I'll post it as a topic later on. Right now I'd like to let yours sit as the most recent relationship for a while, especially seeing as you've been without the outside feedback for awhile (necessary to counter his feedback).
I don't advocate for or against the Christian backdrop to this article, but the advice itself, in my opinion, is both sound and well laid out.