Hello Orgull, and welcome!
It is always nice to know that you are not alone, especially when you are questioning what you have been trained not to. I think you will find the internet to be a fantastic source, and there are some great books out there as well.
You said in your post: "Another problem I have is the clear distinction between what the bible actually says, what the FDS write and what actually happens in real life within the organization."
You hit the nail on the head with that statement. That was one of the big issues I had from the time I was 12 or so. I had no idea about what really went on behind the scenes then, but knew that what I was reading in the bible an what they were claiming it said or meant did not add up to me.