I thank all who have made supportive comments and would ask still-active lurkers to take note of the overall nurturing climate here.
Open Mind my friend, I concur!
by Honesty 85 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
I thank all who have made supportive comments and would ask still-active lurkers to take note of the overall nurturing climate here.
Open Mind my friend, I concur!
Ok, ok, I said I wasn't posting on this thread anymore...
I just want to second open mind's thought. The beauty of JWD is that we are free here. And freedom includes being able to "agree to disagree". Having lived a lifetime as a JW and having to "go along with the party line or else", it is trully refreshing to be able to post an opinion here even if it does not entirely go along with the majority.
changeling
I for one am grateful that elders and otherwise are here and posting. It gives me strength and hope that there are those "inside" that get it and for whatever reason they cannot walk away at this time. Respect is what I feel for them and I understand the pain they must feel to not be able to make a decision for their family and not suffer huge rammifications.
I'm sure your tongue was mainly in your cheek Nvr, but that fact that we DON'T have to stick together is what I love about JWD.
Nope. 100% serious. We don't have to agree, but we do have to support one another.
Does the end justify the means? I don't know. But I don't feel that this is a moral dilemma. What we are speaking of is, after all, just a cult. A man made religion. Why do they deserve my respect? Right now, they do not "need to know" my true feelings. I will reveal those to them when I am ready.
Well said Gary1914.
I applaud you for what you are doing. I know that it takes a great deal of intestinal fortitude to put up with the BS.
Others should not judge.Those of you able to get out and put it behind you, good for you. But not everyone can do that.
I will be forever indebted to my husband for putting up with the crap for my sake. I am grateful that he didin't stop cold turkey when he started to find out things. Our marriage would have ended for sure because I had sold my soul to the watchtower.
Do we want to stay for ever? Of course not. But in the meantime some of us do what we hav to do.
wanna
One thing no one's touched on here. And that is if it weren't for elders posting here, other elders who come here searching would probably not stick around long enough to learn anything. I know it really impacted me back in '02, when I first stumbled onto this site. There were elders and other long-time "serious" dubs here, publicly anguishing and sharing their dismay, doubts and fears. It was exactly what I needed to hear - I was not alone and the anonymous people I was reading were people I could relate to.
As elders, we are taught to have little respect for the opinions of dubs who haven't made the effort to "reach out" and even less for people who left the "truth" and are critical. If I had come here and it was all whack jobs, I'd have logged off and never returned.
Willyloman, nvr, gary and open mind,
I couldn't agree more. If it weren't for people who were elders or people who were fading on this site, then I don't think I would've been able to pull through. And I think we all appreciate the "inside" information that they give us especially when we find things out before the people who are in the religion.
You really nailed it, willyloman!
Willyloman,
Amen.
Add to that: JWs are conditioned to give more "weight" to what people say, based on their rank. If a GB member says something, you can bet it will be repeated by everybody who heard it & accepted as gospel truth. A DO's comments are just a little less powerful. A CO words carry clout, but not quite as much as a DO, and on down the line.
A middle-aged or older woman, who obviously can't be "appointed" to a postion could have the most marvelous insight and most practical & wise counsel imaginable, but because it is a "sister" saying it, it carries absolute 0 weight.
In their day-to-day existence, the highest ranking position most JWs come in contact with is "elder". If a sister, or "Brother Not-Reaching Out", tells a 17 year old kid that maybe it's OK to consider going to college after high school, or that maybe he shouldn't go hang himself because he can't stop masturbating, well, it's not going to affect that kid at all. But if an elder tells him that, well, hey, maybe he'll consider it - "this is coming from an elder, after all".
I try to be "the reasonable elder" - the one who doesn't just parrot the WT line. Maybe I can help some people see that there is more than just the WT way to do things - or at least reassure them that "Jehovah doesn't hate them" because they don't measure up to Sister Pioneer.
It gets harder all the time. I fully expect that at some point, I will be faced with a line I just can't cross - a personal crisis of conscience. Being asked to serve on a judicial committee for apostasy would likely prompt that, or being asked to actively promote some one of their increasingly stupid ideas.
So far that personal crisis has not come - but it is looming. Until then, as others have commented on this board, I choose my comments carefully, I word my talks carefully, most of my service time is "phantom", and I make a point to never make any serious effort to recruit anyone else in.
When that crisis of conscience comes, or when my wife travels the last 10% to reach the same point I am at (whichever comes first), I will step aside (I have let my wife know on numerous occasions that I will almost certainly step aside at some point - she fully understands & supports me). But until that time comes, why not help out as many of the poor blighters in the congregation who otherwise would have no reasonable advice?