Make up your very own "Scripture" and post it here

by JH 61 Replies latest jw friends

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  Leolaia

  Gen. 1:16 "And the LORD God formed a burning globe [sphere] and called it Sun, and from it's [gradually forming] disk of debris He created globes [spheres], one of which was the Earth. He also created other globes far, far away from the Earth and its Sun - among the myriad of stars, but Earth is where He chose to create life. He also created the Moon, to reflect the light from the Sun. And He suspended the globes [spheres] in nothingness, kept there by His dynamic force, one spinning around the other. But the Sun He had placed in the center of this court of globes where Earth found its home."

  Gen. 4:13 "In thine tilling of the land, thou may find buried carcasses of giant lizard-like animals that I created long before man. Be not afraid of these, for they exist in living form no more."

  ROTFL....That was good.
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  Finally-Free

  1 Rocco Chapter 1

  1. I am Rocco, and thou must worship only me.
  2. Thou shalt not own cats, catsit for friends or family, feed cats, or in any way contribute to the wellbeing of cats. Cats are evil.
  3. Thou must change the paper in my cage daily.
  4. Thou must rub my head, wings, tummy, and fluffy bum daily so that it may go well with you. If these things are neglected I shall bite thy fingers, HARD!
  5. Thou shalt give me offerings of pellets, cheese, fresh veggies, cheese, bananas, cheese, nuts, and cheese.
  6. Thou shalt buy me plenty of furniture to chew on. Play with the stupid bird toys thyself.
  7. Thou shalt not cover my cage to silence me when I'm screaming my Holy pronouncements at thee.
  8. Thou shalt not eat my fruity flavoured pellets. Get thy own damn food.
  9. Thou shalt trim my nails and bathe me regularly.
  10. Thou shalt not turn off the lights until I decide it's bedtime.
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  Little Drummer Boy

  "For you shall eat of them becaue they are crunchy and delicious and I have given them to you. They are cheesy and you shall not abstain though they stain your fingers. Bask in my glory and munch my bountiful Cheetos. Verily I say, they are the cheese that goeth 'Crunch'" Chester:1, 1-4
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  eclipse

  Finally-Free that was funny!

  lol LDB!
• 

  eclipse

  Gen. 1:16 "And the LORD God formed a burning globe [sphere] and called it Sun, and from it's [gradually forming] disk of debris He created globes [spheres], one of which was the Earth. He also created other globes far, far away from the Earth and its Sun - among the myriad of stars, but Earth is where He chose to create life. He also created the Moon, to reflect the light from the Sun. And He suspended the globes [spheres] in nothingness, kept there by His dynamic force, one spinning around the other. But the Sun He had placed in the center of this court of globes where Earth found its home."

  Gen. 4:13 "In thine tilling of the land, thou may find buried carcasses of giant lizard-like animals that I created long before man. Be not afraid of these, for they exist in living form no more."

  ROTFL....That was good.

  I agree, those were awesome!
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  John Doe

  Technex 21:33,34 33) Despair not good simians, for the geeks shall inherit the earth. 34)And the pimpled one shall become intimate with coolness, and the Cisco truth will only be revealed to those who seek the power of the pocket protector. The gods will smite the hard drives of the wicked cubicle dwellers in designer clothes, and the power will flow through the heavens through a z wireless connection.
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  AWAKE&WATCHING

  J.D. - That was good stuff!
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  nvrgnbk

  A man must not lie with a woman in the way that men that lie with men lie with men.( The Book of Jaracz 10:68)

  A man must not lie with a woman in the way that women that lie with women lie with women.( The Book of Jaracz 10:69)

  These are the scriptures used by the WT to ban anal and oral sex.
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  JH

  Rat 24:14

  For an Apostafest shall unite the enlightened ones to Wisconsin, and from that gathering, shall beer flow. Then the rat amongst them will prophetize under the influence of barley and thunder and lightning from the heavens will shine upon them, and they shall understand that there is a prophet amongst them.
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  OpenFireGlass

  Bob Dylan 1: 1- everybody must get stoned