The process was so gradual for me that by the time I let go completely it was like, "Well, glad that's over." It lead to my becoming an atheist, but indirectly.
Stage 1: I'm simply unable to take it any more. Something is very wrong here. I'm either going to leave or hurt myself. Maybe I'll come back after the Society grows up. They mind their business, I'll mind mine. (They didn't, but that's another story)
Stage 2: Time passes. I begin to review the WT's critics and reject most of what they say. It's too far from what I expect, and I'm only "experimenting" with other points of view. I still believe in Jehovah, and think the Society could be the "True Religion" ... but for the moment, there is a sickness of arrogance eating away at it all. There has to be something more or better than this. Still, I do avoid things the Society says to avoid, like holidays and whatnot.
Stage 3: Years pass. I'm not so close to my WT related issues any more. I finally begin to see things more openly. I take another look at the critics, mostly those who investigated the Society's flawed literature. Thanks to people like Alan F. and his paper on the Creation Book (which I had rejected earlier as too much to be believed) I'm slapped in the face with the realization that the Society is utterly corrupt and knows it. I'm glad I got away and can't believe how duped I was. I let go of the Society entirely.
Stage 4: More years pass. I begin to reanalyze my beliefs and how I look at things. I start digging for more knowledge. I review the critics I read before to make sure I still agree with them. I decide to verify everything I can in Alan F's analysis of the Creation Book. I even contact some of the scientists he says were misquoted...and they confirm that they were misquoted, so there are no doubts. (I mostly did this because I want to be ready for the next Witness who wants to convert me--you know they'll just say the critics are liars) Along the way, I stumble across the writings of "evolutionists" and atheists. I begin to realize that I don't really take much of that religion and superstition stuff very seriously any more. I begin to see myself as an agnostic with atheist leanings.
Stage 5: My doubts about God and the supernatural are strengthened by a lot of daily research. I compare the writings of apologists with those of atheists and there doesn't seem to be any contest. I soon learn that I'm already an atheist as atheists define it. I say it to myself - "I'm an atheist" - and shrug. It seems to fit.
I remain an atheist today.
IsaacJ
