"Honey, how was the meeting?"

by OnTheWayOut 32 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  lrkr

  OTWO,

  Hang in there- you're doing the right thing!! You don't know which comment will open her eyes and mind- each of us comes to understand at different times and for different reasons. (Sheesh- that sounds like the speech you give about someone learning the JW way)

  Regarding the question- my wife and I will at times alternate going to the meeting (often separated by some weeks). The response from either of us is the same- "so and so said hi" "a lot of guilt in the WT today" "really beating the drum about college" "Such a doom and gloom public talk", "mind numbingly boring", etc. As you can see- we're at about the same level in detoxing- she may be ahead of me. We're mostly there for the old friends.

  We're all pulling for you OTWO.

  Lrkr
• 

  startingover

  I too live with a loyal JW wife. I have tried many of the techniques mentioned to no avail. She is a social person and the org is her social world. I have found that truth makes no difference.

  The only thing I do now is let her know that I am well informed about the organization. When I read something here, usually a change in the org, I make sure it's valid and then I will mention something about it before she hears about it though her channels. It's very important to me to make sure it's true before I do it. Then I drop it. It is my hope that it will make her pay more attention to what is going on in the org. and will figure it it out like I did. Time will tell if it works out.
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  She is a social person and the org is her social world. I have found that truth makes no difference.

  Without trying to set off the Wing Commander, I will say the same for my wife. She says they have
  the truth, but as Garybuss says, she really only believes they are right, or perhaps MORE RIGHT than
  other Bible-based religions.

  Truth be damned. She loves the "brothers and sisters." (If I use the WT terms, I must put quotes around them.)

  It's a long road to introducing freedom to her, because she prefers the prison. Maybe I will work on
  my JW mother and just let the wife see me enjoying my freedom.

  I am going to use the followup question to "Honey, how was your meeting?"
  When she answers, "Fine," my followup will be "Did you have fun?"
  Any answer that involves light gossip or meeting with So-and-so, I will go back to the meeting, itself.
  "No, did you have fun paying attention to the public talk and WT study? What did you learn?"

  I won't criticize the info she shares at that time, but she will tire of providing answers. Her upcoming
  2 day circuit assembly- I should really get something of a rise out of "Did you have fun?"