Shunned by my SIL the B........

by AK - Jeff 36 Replies latest jw experiences

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  AK - Jeff

  Shunning still hurts for me, I admit it. Though I have no common ground with these people any longer, it is just the idea that I am treated as evil for nothing more than exiting the religion.

  I was in a Chinese rest on Wednesday. In walks my SIL and her friend. I have known them both forever. I studied with the one with my SIL, and with her son, back when I was just out of high school. [35 years ago] They both walked past me and avoided eye contact several times. It just makes me sick.

  The worst part is that the SIL has no room to throw stones from her glass house of sin. She has been DF'd three times, married three 'worldly' men, beat her children at times, and likely turned a blind eye to incest within her home. She had a drinking problem at one point. She played the fornicatrix more than once. She is disgusting to me. I don't really want anything to do with her. But her current bout of 'good standing' makes her better than me.

  IT JUST PISSES ME OFF THAT IN SPITE OF HER VAST ARRAY OF SINFUL CONDUCT IN THE PAST, THAT SOMEHOW SHE FEELS JUSTIFIED IN SHUNNING ME. My sin? Leaving her cult - that's all.

  I have always treated her better than she deserves. I have also been a good husband to her younger sister. That should count to something.

  Well - sorry for the rant. I would just love to bitch-slap her.

  Jeff
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  Bobbi

  ((((hugs)))))
  
  
  
  
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  Gopher

  I have always treated her better than she deserves. I have also been a good husband to her younger sister. That should count to something.

  And she has always treated you worse than you deserve. Nothing's changed there. She just has a silly idea of superiority.

  Screw it. You can count it a great honor to be dishonored by such a dishonorable person. You're not in the same mudhole with her.

  Life moves on, and so must we also - to better things.
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  hubert

  I would just love to bitch-slap her.

  Go for it. Give the bitch one for me.

  Hubert
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  greendawn

  You shouldn't take so much at heart a worthless person like her or their half baked cult. They were led to believe that they are something special but they are just dupes being exploited on a daily basis.
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  RebelWife

  Little people always have to have somebody to look down on. That said, a good bi*ch-slapping would be very satisfying...
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  Quandry

  Rebel wife

  Little people always have to have somebody to look down on. That said, a good bi*ch-slapping would be very satisfying... That was hilarious. I am glad I was not drinking my tea at the time I read this!!!! We can dream, can't we?
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  LennyinBluemont

  Hey Jeff, I can empathize, man. When we sent our letters out, two of them went to the two closest friends of my lifetime, both elders I had known for decades. During their tenure, both had been unfaithful to their wives and subsequently DF'd. One kept it a secret for years and continued to serve as an elder until he finally confessed and was DF'd. They are both elders again, and I am out. The one that lived a "double life" didn't even bother to respond at all to the letter. The other one returned my letter unopened and marked "refused". Even though I have been married for almost 35 years and have never been unfaithful to my wife (nor done anything else deserving of WT DFing other than dissing "mother") they both assume a position of moral superiority to me. When I consider their behavior, I reluctantly wonder if I exhibited the same self-righteous attitude when I was in. I'm afraid we all did. Just the act of going from door-to-door to "share the good news" necessitates a moral posture that clearly suggests superiority.
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  OnTheWayOut

  Just barely getting the tastes of the shun, but not really, I appreciate your frustration and how
  it all seems so stupid to think down on a former believer. Even the Mormon super-cult doesn't
  do this one.

  Although I am in a successful fade, I am thinking of taking a more pro-active approach with my
  mother. It's still kinda tough to decide with the shunning rules. Her loyalty might just have been
  reestablished after she DF'ed and sowed wild oats with a teenager at home, then married the guy
  she was living with- THEN and only THEN did she go to be reinstated. I wonder if she's ready to
  judge me. Statistically speaking, I say yes.

  Sometimes, I stop concerning myself and consider the ultimate freedom of expression that being
  DF'ed/DA'ed would bring. But Jeff, is that ultimate freedom like financing a new car? You know- it
  feels great for awhile then you see the payments?

  I am just asking. Your answer won't be the decision maker for me, just another thing on a list.
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  Hortensia

  Stress is the conflict that occurs when your mind overcomes your body's urge to beat the crap out of someone who richly deserves it.