Shunned by my SIL the B........ (page 3)

dobbie

So sorry for your pain and frustration. I kind of understand cos my hubby tried to talk to my sis in law recently about talking to me and seeing kids etc and she came out with the usual about how it was my choice to leave, i knew the consequences etc (though she told me last yr she'd still talk to me if i left as she does to her d'ad family).

And on top of that i learn this wk that she has been having affairs for over two years now and i have decided that i just don't want to know such hypocrites anymore, all i did was be honest and leave as i no longer believed it she's been doing this all this time (and previously) yet acted as if i was the one doing wrong!!

Trust me, sad though it is, they are not worth worrying about, we know them for what they really are and they are not worth knowing by their hypocritical actions. You are worth a million more than them and sometimes we have to write off altogether those that are damaging to our health, cos they are not worth all this stress we have to go through. Hugs xx

lisavegas420

I've been shunned by my parents and siblings for the past 20 yrs.........but just like in Jeff and dobbie situation, we are being shunned by hypocrites.

The more time that goes by, the better I feel about them being out of my life.

lisa

jgnat

Anyone read the book by Monty Roberts, the original "Horse Wisperer"? http://www.montyroberts.com/

He took the time to undertand horses and their need to feel safe in groups. He uses this knowledge to subtly "reject" and then "embrace" a horse in to his "herd". A lot of what he does is eye contact and subtle body language. No-one can deny his success.

I've thought that people are not that different. We are attuned to facial expression and gestures. One expert in Kinesics estimates that only 35 percent of a message is conveyed by words. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinesics I think we show off our origins also in our need to be accepted and protected by our "tribe". So eye avoidance and subtle shunning is no small thing. It can't fail to hurt.

Even if the person doing it isn't worth spit.

RebelWife

I think we show off our origins also in our need to be accepted and protected by our "tribe".

On a side note, this whole shunning thing sounds very much like a death curse. I knew someone whose family did that to her. Nobody would acknowledge her and no one would even speak her name. The whole family acted as if she had never existed. It works because the person has no human contact with anyone. It's very cruel and the person eventually dies. Okay. Enought of that. We'd all understand if you did bi*ch-slap her.

RollerDave

Wow, jgnat, awesome link!

AK Jeff, I know how it feels, I've been there. I don't blame you for your hurt or your outrage, you are only human.

It's easy to say to just let it roll off your back, and that IS great advice, but sometimes it's just too much.

Might I suggest that you consider turning the tables on her the next time this happens?

Go up and say 'HI" as if she is your best friend, smile, be friendly, and when she snubs you, act like you don't even see it, just keep blaring.

Shun her shunning, I say!

Just an idea.

RD

changeling

"Good riddance to bad rubish".

You're better off w/o them.

changeling

ozziepost

Early on in my ex-dub days, it amused me somewhat how I was shunned by a certain young married man. You see, as an elder I had previously had much to do with him. During his periods of fornicating, I chaired his JC. We took a very 'understanding' line (for which at the time he claimed he was very appreciative), - we saw that it was better to restore a man than punish him. I regularly met with him.

Anyway, here I was, no longer an elder, no longer a dub, part of the "evil" apostates and here he was, swanning around as if he was the most righteous of souls and he seemed to display a well-practiced shun.

It made me laugh to see the ludicrous side of the whole thing.

I often wonder what became of him. did he manage to follow the Witness way or did he......?

If you're out there, Corrie, give us a call.

JWdaughter

It seems like with her past, all the marriage, divorce, extra-curricular relationships, other family issues, she is a total mess and the ONLY thing she has over anyone is that she is (currently) in the org. She is superior. Thats all she's got. She is a very sad and pathetic person. Pity her ignorance and her mess of a life. Someone said that someday she will get hers-I think she already has!

We have all been in that religion, we all knew we too were 'sinners'. It feels crappy to be her, this is all she's got.

Love, Shelly

LeslieV

She is not worthy of your association.

Leslie

moshe

It's a power thing with JW's , to shun you and in their mind that makes them the strong one. Now after you have been out about 20 years like me, the shunning is pointless as you have proven to them that you were right after all.

Shunned by my SIL the B........

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