Why I dont go along with the "happiness" crowd

Junction-Guy

The old saying "happiness is the best revenge", to me that is the most rubbing statement I can ever hear right now.

Someone mentioned that JW's dont think anyone can have true happiness outside of their religion, I dont necessarily buy this.

When someone is happy inside the borg, they say its Jehovah's blessing, when someone is happy outside the borg they say that Satan is blessing them. They do recognize people being happy outside the borg, they just spin it to fit their favor.

If I were to be a truly happy person then that would tell my Dad that either

a. Satan is blessing me

b. He did a good job in raising me a JW, even though Im not one now.

If JW parents are not told the damage that is done in their kids lives, they will never know what it is like.

That is why Im an activist, because I want the world to know exactly the problems this cult causes in the developing mind of a JW child.

If all we do is show how much happiness we now have, then they will never know the pain we have suffered.

It does a major disservice to XJW's to try to paint everything as hunky dory, when it clearly is not.

I have a message for the world that this cult is destructive, it tears up families, and most of all it tears up children.

I have read and studied numerous child psychology books and I have seen first hand the damage this cult causes.

If we paint the JW religion as OK, or just like any other church, then basically we are gagging our own mouths, for the message needs to be known that JW's are a lying,destructive CULT

SixofNine

How do you account for all of the exJW's who come out of the religion relatively unscathed mentally and even emotionally (even while recognizing they've been emotionally hurt by family and friends)?

I don't think anyone disagrees that the truth about the "truth" should be known by anyone who could possibly be affected by the religion, but that doesn't change the fact that living well is the BEST revenge. And the thing that makes it best is that onlookers are more likely to listen to someone who is "living well"; as well, it becomes clear that getting out offers the prospect of a better life than staying in.

carla

Amen to that

dawg

I see your point six of 9, but I think it depends on the individual... different situations also. Some people and wade through crap and not get a smell, others can't. Depends on how much pressure each family applies and the like... I think JG is right, be active, speak out, so others won't suffer.

But what you said about leaving this cult... life is much better now.

Junction-Guy

Carla, are you Amening to me or sixy's post.?

carla

oops

I agree with Junction, I feel that many here often almost excuse the behavior of jw's as somehow normal. It clearly is not. Take a look at how many threads there are that ex jw's cannot deal with common everyday situations in life. Silly things and they stress about the proper way to do a holiday or wrap a present. Granted not a big deal in the scheme of life but still, something to stress about? Or office politics and how to manuver in a relationship. Sex. Spirituality, and how to view others now that the ex's are out. The emotional and mental abuse is astounding if you look at all the problems posted here ALL due to the wt. They are not 'just another religion' by any stretch of the imagination. I think many here have grown up in and look at much of what happens to others as 'oh sorry to hear that, my family.....' as if they have a common cold or have come down with the flu not a life altering experience that has happened and will change the lives of many for years and generations to come. Somedays when the thread goes on and on how sorry everyone feels for the jw I would like to ask where your outrage is for the hurt person the true victim of the org and it's ungodly rules?

But the sad stories piss me off and I go deliver fliers so keep em'coming I guess! I need a new flier by the way if anyone has a good one.

Gopher

I really don't think our JW parents care much about the pain they've caused. My parents sure don't.

My thought is that I will show my parents I can succeed without them. I'll be fine.

However, to the outside world, I do tell the story about what how my JW parents avoid their children and grandchildren, and tell about the crazy reasons why. I've been telling that story over and over, to outsiders -- both here on the board and to whomever becomes my friend (like at the workplace), the real story.

I totally agree that we should paint the JW religion as it is. I also believe in living life well, to show JW's (including my parents) that they are wrong about us ex-JW's. We're not the evil people that their propaganda paints us to be.

B_Deserter

I think you have a point, but I don't think saying that "living well is the best revenge" is diminishing the negative effects some people go through. You have to realize that not all Ex-JWs are as scarred as some of us here are. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that most of them aren't. Some people can just pick up the pieces and move on after JW-dom much easier than others. My cousin for example was raised in the religion, but ended up rejecting it in high school. His twin brother rejected it even earlier. I remember one day my mom asked my cousin, "Dan, isn't your life horrible that you've left the truth?" He looked baffled, and replied "ummmm, no." That day was pivotal for me. I learned that it was possible to be happy on the outside.

There are three types of Ex-JWs
1. Never really that into the church. Always kept worldly friends and always had a way out. Mostly, the rebellious children raised in a JW family that leave in their teens fall into this group.
2. The disfellowshipped who still believe it's the truth, but feel like they can't live up to the "high moral standard." They either have resigned themselves to destruction at armageddon or are working to be reinstated.
3. The once-hardcore-but-disillusioned. That's us for the most part. We were really into the church, followed society doctrine by the letter. Then, we crossed the line that most rank-n-file won't: applying the Watchtower's judgements of other religions to Jehovah's Witnesses themselves, only to find them lacking. We're either trying to fade, left the org. for intellectual reasons (disagreements with doctrine), or were disfellowshipped unjustly. Since the religion was our entire life, much more so than our contemporaries, it's loss naturally affects us in a completely different (and much more severe) way.

The main difference between "us" and "them" is that "they" can mentally go back to the church. "We," on the other hand, can't, not with what we know.

IP_SEC

I dont care what they think.

Junction-Guy

But why should we allow them to paint us as "Evil" just for simply standing up to a destructive organization?

Was Martin Luther King "Evil" for picketing against racism?

Were womans suffrage activists "Evil" for marching for the right to vote?

I dont consider myself "evil" for wanting to expose the damage this cult does, they can spin their doctrines anyway they like, but their organization is "Evil", not me for wanting to expose it.

Carla, Im fresh out of ideas now, but if I can think of any, I will get in touch with you.

Six of Nine, there are many variables that seem to determine if an XJW achieves a sense of happiness, for the most part after 10 years on these boards the two things that stick out the most in my mind, is that XJW's turn to drugs, alcohol, or depression meds to ease their pain, or 2, they were fortunate to find a group of friends to socialize with, or just maybe one special friend.

I can explain more when I get a chance.

Why I dont go along with the "happiness" crowd

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