one in one out...odds of staying married...how long til you know? (page 2)

JWdaughter

I am thinking if it were the other way around, you might soon be free to be the wronged brother who needs plenty of comforting from the myriad of single desperate JW women. . .You are really screwing up their stats big time if you divorce.

I sense from you that you feel resigned about your marriage-don't want to wait for good things in your life and your marriage is no longer a good thing to you. Your wife knows whats going on to a certain extent. Maybe you could ask her some 'what if' questions.

My uncle managed to end up divorced from 3 JW women. I found out the last one is still JW, and so is he. She divorced him because he hoards things (don't know what he is storing up treasures on earth for !!). The last one is just a couple of years older than I. My uncle is old enough to be my dad. Your odds as a divorced JW man are pretty good. Even if you are bald and fat like my uncle.

Shelly

LittleToe

From what I've seen the divorce rate seems to be higher for mixed relationships like that. I'd love to see some proper research on it. I think it was nailed in the point about the main thng held in common being the JWs. Once that goes, unless you have another foundation, things can fall apart pretty quickly.

My marriage lasted about two years after I split from the JWs. After a further two years separated, we finally divorced. What a great testimony to a marriage that had lasted over a decade

Jourles

One in, one out. *raises hand*

A few months ago, I really had it out with her. It was more of a one-way type thing. I told her everything I hated about our "situation." It primarily focused on, wait for it, the organization. Leading up prior to this, I broke out CoC and tried to get her to read it. She said she did, but when I asked her about certain parts, she couldn't "recall" what she supposedly read. That told me she didn't read it at all. Part of my diatribe towards her I mentioned that I couldn't "wait for the day that the WTS finally goes out of business." That I would "do everything in my power to help bring about their downfall in whatever way" I could. I told her how I felt about the WTS simply being a business and that everything they have done in the past several years pointed to their losing money. I brought up the cutbacks in mags, size of the books, child abuse lawsuits, etc. Basically everything I've mentioned here on the board before. I was surprised at myself for saying such things, but it felt great to finally get them off of my chest. And to give her credit, she took it quite well. She didn't lash out at me for thrashing her one and only spritually safe haven, the WTS.

But yeah, things are definitely different these days. Even before I was df'd(fading period), we were becoming more and more like roommates. It sure feels like that today as well. I do my thing and she does hers. I immerse myself in volleyball and the friends that naturally go along with it. She doesn't even care about the "worldly" parties that I go to. No questions asked.

I honestly couldn't say what keeps us together. Our commonalities sank once I was officially df'd. Most of our social contacts prior to that were with jw's only. As a "couple," those are now history. Oh well, I just deal with it. If something happens, it happens.

truthsearcher

This thread really saddens me to hear of marriages that are so divided because of mind control

nvrgnbk

I think it was nailed in the point about the main thng held in common being the JWs. Once that goes, unless you have another foundation, things can fall apart pretty quickly.

zack

I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

nvrgnbk

I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Interesting way of putting things.

I guess that means I'm in the process of taking my shoes off.

Happy Harvester

You might want to contact jgnat about some of her strategies. She recently mentioned something about techniques for bringing out the authentic person in your mate, or something like that. I think she has a pretty balanced view, although her circumstances are a bit different than yours, she is also "unevenly yoked."

oompa

Highlander: Being married to a j-dub sucks. My wife is having an affair with jehovah, while waiting for me to become bird food.

Sorry High, but hat does get a LOL! Affair wth Jehovah, which makes him an aldulterer too, snce he has another "woman"

Brent: Keeping a marriage going is tough enough that I could not imagine a one in/one out scenario. Although my dad has been out for 35 years and still married to my mom for 45. So it can be done.

And step right up, we have a winner!...........geeze that is a long time

Tula: But as Jehovah "hates a divorcing" they remain together. It's been over 20 something years now. She makes a good living and does not need him for financial security. They pretty much go their separate ways. Jobs out of town, on the road, ... they don't have to be together daily

Ok Tula, she has the hates it reason, what the hey is the poor felllows excuse???? go get some

Save my Soul: but I miss assemblies and even the memorial. I study with her and the children even more now, than before.

1. you can have my therepy appt next week, you need it more than I do if you miss these and 2.how old are your kids and what they hey are you studying? I would start with "how to respond at the door when someone asks you why the NWT uses the name Jehovah in the NWT (especilly in places like all of rev where there it is NEVER quoted from the hebs, even though apdx 1-d says it is)" This is such a wonderfully freeing thing to learn/teach. If WT is willing to produce a totally FRAUDULANT BIBLE, how can ANYTHING ELSE be trusted? Do they know that??????

JWDaughter: I am thinking if it were the other way around, you might soon be free to be the wronged brother who needs plenty of comforting from the myriad of single desperate JW women. . .You are really screwing up their stats big time if you divorce.

Don't temp me, the pickins are too easy there. It does help the male ego to have old girlfriends calling you up, and lots of people at assemblies you hardly know introducing you to "sisters"! It is worse when you are fit, have hair, and have either been very blessed by Jehovah, or are just unbelievably lucky in business.

Little Toe: My marriage lasted about two years after I split from the JWs. After a further two years separated, we finally divorced. What a great testimony to a marriage that had lasted over a decade

Man that sucks, but give some more timeline please, how long in each, how long married/at what age, back in the saddle how quick?

Jourles: Even before I was df'd(fading period), we were becoming more and more like roommates. It sure feels like that today as well. I do my thing and she does hers. I honestly couldn't say what keeps us together. Our commonalities sank once I was officially df'd. Most of our social contacts prior to that were with jw's only. As a "couple," those are now history. Oh well, I just deal with it. If something happens, it happens.

DAMN! and as Gump said (and that's all I have to say about that). Almost.. but give some more timeline please, how long in each, how long married/at what age, back in the saddle how quick? And also for everyone in what seems to be loveless or just conflicted marriage.......what is keeping you, and how long will you wait....oompa

Honesty

My wife committed adultery with the Watchtower Society.

She loved it more than her spouse.

I divorced her over it.

one in one out...odds of staying married...how long til you know?

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