Last May, I finally admitted to myself that I am an atheist. To me, being an atheist means that I don't believe any of the silly nonsense that puny humans have come up with. Many of the religions of man were started during a time when mental illnesses went undiagnosed and misunderstood, a time when man couldn't explain why lightning struck the earth or why rain fell. As I've thought and pondered over things these past months, I couldn't help but realize something when contemplating the beginning of the universe.
The First Law of Thermodynamics states in layman's terms that matter cannot be created nor destroyed. Matter is merely a physical manifestation of energy. Such energy can be released such as in an atomic bomb. The matter is not destroyed, but converted into energy. There is one nagging question in all of this: where did the energy come from? Since it cannot be created, it must have always been here. But the fact that it has always been here flies in the face of what we know about cause and effect. Isaac Asimov's story "The Last Question" delves into the area that I'm contemplating. The end provides a possible explanation for the existence of the universe: The Cosmic AC, a vast computer so advanced that we cannot even comprehend it, finally figured out how to reverse entropy, and created another universe with a command "Let there be light." Now, obviously that's just a story but it is also an amazing concept. But, let me get back to the universe itself.
The general theory of the beginning of the universe is that it sprang from a "big bang." Now, the universe might very well have arisen from such an explosion, and there is some evidence supporting that conclusion, but something had to be there to explode. My question is: where did THAT thing come from? Something had to have caused it. No matter what explanation anybody can come up with, it requires pre-existing elements in order to work. Since it is unreasonable to say that those elements spontaneously generated out of nothing, something had to have (pardon the term) created it. So then, you have a creator to explain, then you have the creator's creator to explain. It is an infinite loop that can go on for infinity. It was then I realized, there HAS to be something that started it all, an ultimate cause. The First Law of Thermodynamics cannot be correct, or rather, there must have been a time when it was not correct.
I did some reading up on what philosophy would best fit with my feelings, and found none. Although, Deism came close. To get a few things straight:
- I do not necessarily believe that this "creator" was an intelligent being, but it is just as possible a force of some kind
- I do not believe that this creative force is concerned about the lives we live on earth or that it necessarily is even aware of us or even "alive"
- I do not believe that this creative force needs prayer and worship from us
- I still believe in the natural laws that govern our universe now, however I do not believe that these laws have always been in effect, as we have a universe full of energy whose existence defies those very laws.
- I don't believe this creative force is directly responsible for life on earth, nor that it "guided" evolution.
- I don't believe this creative force is some sort of cosmic "watch-winder" who set all the physical laws purposely for our benefit.