by lovelylil 77 Replies latest jw friends
John Doe,
People fall through cracks we will never experiance. Hopefully
Even getting things from charity is above what some people that beg can do.
Its not a great thing to think about. But if you use thinking, Reduction to the Rediculous, you are intelligent, you can certainly see how it happens.
purps
Anyway, just out of curiosity, I kept an eye on this gal while I shopped and sure enough, after getting my $5 she walked right past the pharmacy and out the back door. So, ok, I got duped.
Ok, here's how I personally feel about this. I didn't read other responses so I'm sorry if this has been considered. If I was in that situation I wouldn't feel bad about it. 1. You don't know if she took off because she was embarrassed and is intending to go back after she "begged" a certain amount. 2. you don't know if she really needed it for something else...lets say maxi pads and was too embarrassed to say that as well. When I give people money if I have it, I will take what they say for what it's worth. Now, I won't give away money if I'm really in a tight place. There was a time when I wasn't in a tight place and I would give money to the guy standing out on the street with a sign saying "will work for food". Who knows, they may have wanted the money for drugs or alcohol, but they may ALSO be in true need for food. I'd rather give money to people and take a chance on the ones that are freeloaders if that will also allow a child or two get something to eat.
Let me ask you...do you KNOW %100 that you got duped? Are you 100% she didn't come back later when she knew all the others she had "begged" were gone?
In general I don't do it anymore, I pick who I help myself instead of them picking me. My last one was a guy who was making $400 per week working 6 days, and had three kids. Now he's at over three times that and home more, working 4.5 days.
I feel good about that, plus I don't really have anything extra to give out. It's different when you have control over how it's used.
Give a man a fish, or teach a man to fish, as they say.
WLG
Let me add, I will not give if that means we (my kids and I will be without something)...but if $5. doesn't mean anything to me, then I will probably still get duped. I have a big heart and it's not for me to say they didn't need it. They have to face that themselves. I know, this may be naive, but I'm still not going to hold back if $5. is like one penny to me. Does that make sense? Right now, if a person came up to me, $5. is about $50 to me so I will not be handing out money anytime soon.
Wow, I know I already posted once, but there are a lot of heated comments on this topic. Like I've said before, I've been on both ends of the spectrum. I know what it's like to be in need, and I know what it's like to be able to give. I don't think that most people have a problem with giving, we just want to know that we're really helping somebody. When you give money to a panhandler, they're probably just tricking you and tugging on your heartstrings to get you to give them money. That's why they're out there. There are places they can go to get help and get back on their feet.
That's why I don't give money to them. I also don't donate to big, faceless "charitable" organizations that eat up most of their donations in "administrative" costs. I prefer to give only when I know that it is needed and that it is in fact going to help someone. I'm not hearltess; far from it. I like to give, I just don't like to get screwed by somebody playing on my emotions.
There was an article in The Toronto Star last year about how much pandhandlers make and I was stunned. One of them, a woman, lives in a half million dollar home in Brampton, she makes so much. Another pandhandler freely admitted that he makes between $300 - $400 a day. And it's all tax free. That's the main reason why I will not give any money to anyone on the streets----hell, they're making more per day than what I am.
Sometimes in the past I have carried a can of food in my vehicle, and when they approach my vehicle begging for $ I just give them the can of food. Something like beef stew, or soup, or something. I've even given creamed corn.
I just hardly ever carry $ with me because I lose it. I've given in the past when I had some extra change. If they want to buy drugs OR food, makes no never mind to me because when I give it it's a gift: I give it hoping they will purchase necessities.
CG
I really don't understand all the angst here between the givers and non givers. Giving money to a panhandler on the street might or might not be helping that person. But when you give money to those charities that are set up to help people with food, clothing and shelter you pretty much know your money was not wasted or drugs or alcohol. Portland, Oregon has several that have been in operation for years and they are above reproach. Money, food and clothes are welcomed. This help goes to people with small children as well. A street wino can go in and get a hot meal, a pair of socks or a warm blanket or jacket. Next time you are approached by a beggar remember, the five bucks may go for cheap wine or it may buy food, but a charity takes the guess work out of it and you can direct the person there and go on your way without guilt.
purplesofa,
thanks for sharing your story. Like I said I've been there too and I think that is why I cannot say no. Even though sometimes I will give to those who do not really want it for food or medicine. I am still going to give.
Freedomfrog,
you made a good point that I didn't even think of. The lady could have needed the money for something else and was too embarrased to say so. In any case, she did not look like she had any money. Her clothes were a little old and torn so I could tell she needed the $5. Maybe she needed it for food but thought if she asked for medicine she would be more likely to get it.
I don't feel bad about being duped, even if I was. I do give to charities like the food pantry and homeless programs in my area. But since I grew up in poverty I learned that many times the people who need these services, for whatever reason do not have access to them. I remember one time walking for nearly two hours with my mom to get food at a pantry because my parents had no money until their checks came, which was almost a week away and 5 kids to feed plus themselves. And I'll tell you the pantry was low on food so we only got enough for a day anyway and my mom said she won't ever go again, it was not worth the walk. In a way she was right.
Think about it; how many people have bus fare to get to the programs? Also if they really need help, they certainly do not have a car.
Anyway, I only started this thread to see what others thought and it seems most of you will not let it stop you from helping others, even if you help by giving to charities set up already. Which I can understand but I think its important to realize some people still do not have access to these programs. Lilly
Robdar, don't you feel any moral obligation to not support panhandlers?
No, I do not. I feel a moral obligation not to judge their situation. 25 cents isn't all that much--certainly not enough to feel morally superior about. I really do not see how it's any business of yours anyway. I'll gladly give you 25 cents to bugger out of my business.
I have as much contempt for panhandlers as I do those who give them money, and that is not a small amount.
Your contempt or your accolade means nothing to me. Here's 25 cents--you know what to do.
Robyn
