Am I In A Judicial Loophole? - advice please....

Juniper

Hi All!!!!! I hope everyone is doing well.

Is there anyone out there well-versed in the 'shepherd' book and judicial proceedings?

A wee bit o' background....

I have been 'out' for about 3 years now. I was in the (quite lucky for me) position of moving to another state and doing a full 'fade' as I left. I don't even know where my records are, to tell the truth. I don't speak with any witnesses and make no claims to be a jw.

The only witnesses I speak with now are my folks. They recently learned of my 'unchristian' ways and are pressuring me to speak with the local congregation to (as far as I can understand) have them df me so my folks will know whether or not they can talk to me now. They want to have a relationship, but are confused by their 'love of the one true god'. (ACK!)

In my situation, can anyone disfellowship me if I have no contact with them? Can they df you if you don't go to the judicial meeting? Can I just not ever call the local kh to talk to the elders and live out my life in this loophole?

Curious what y'all know....

Thanks for the help! :)

Dorktacular

Juniper, I have been living in that "loophole" for almost 10 years. I just moved away and never went to a Kingdom Hall again. It was that simple. I haven't had any contact from the local Kingdom Hall. My father is a JW. He's the only one I have contact with, but he now lives in another state.

primitivegenius

dude they need two witnesses to supposed unchristian conduct. have your parents SEEN any? if your telling them what your doing....... make up your mind what you want to happen.

if you want to keep them in your life the QUIT TELLING THEM anything they can use against you. deny deny deny. or make a clean break. that is something that is entirely up to you. if your out of state and have no plans to return(like myself) then it dosent matter what you do. if you, on the other hand, will be returning and dont want to have the df stigma then make up your mind accordingly.

facts are.......... the elders can disfellowship you for any reason, real or made up. they will need two witnesses to say they saw it, and you do not have to be there. they will write you a damn letter and who cares where they send it. many people here have gotten just such a letter and trashed it........... made no contact with the elders and were still dfed.

this is not a democracy where you are owed your day in court.................... its a kangaroo court and they will do whatever the hell they want to.

ronin1

Do not tell your parents anything negative about your lifestyle and do not seek out or go to any KH.

They cannot bother you if you stay away, or are not affiliated with any KH or congregation, etc.

Ronin1

Dorktacular

Kinda like traffic court in Gwinnett County! Haa Haa.

Younglove1999

Gosh I can't believe your parents are even saying this-

ok, well i can believe this, but still- just enjoy your freakin' kid!

sir82

In my situation, can anyone disfellowship me if I have no contact with them?

It really depends on the elders where you are. If you are not perceived as a "threat" to the congregation and are not known as a JW in that area, they shouldn't go after you, per the elders manual. But, who knows what they might consider a "threat"?

Can they df you if you don't go to the judicial meeting?

They're not supposed to. They are supposed to at least "invite" you to a judicial meeting, if they are going to have one. But again, no one really checks up on the elders. The Society will believe whatever they put on their official report. So, if you have a hard-nosed body of elders there, they might do so.

Can I just not ever call the local kh to talk to the elders and live out my life in this loophole?

That's your safest bet. The main thing you have going for you is that you are unknown to the elders where you are. If the congregation does not have your publisher cards, they almost certainly won't do anything judicial. Elders love to avoid doing work - and "we don't have her cards" is a perfect excuse for not doing anything in your case.

Just lay low, don't step foot in the Kingdom Hall, and your chances of avoiding a DF are better than 90%, in my estimation.

GoingGoingGone

I have a family member who hadn't been to a meeting for about 11 years, who left her husband (never a JW) and moved in with another man (not a JW), who was turned in by her brother (a JW elder) and subsequently DF'd for adultery.

It depends on the elders, it seems.

But I agree, stay as far from the KH and the other JWs as possible, and hopefully they will avoid you, too! Good luck!

GGG

Gilberto

I was fading and spoke strongly to an elder who called, about a few issues. A few days later I had a call it was from an elder at the KH to ask whether I considered myself a JW. I didn't want to answer that directly because I thought they would use my answer to say I had DA'd myself. So after avoiding answering the question he finally asked if they could come and see me. I said something like, "no, I wouldn't bother"

I was expecting to be hounded, however I have been left alone, that was probably over a year ago now.

The reason I now reckon is because somewhere in the shepherding book it says if someone has been out for a while and don't consider themselves a JW then they can be left and not DF'd even if they are doing wrong. However, if you agree to meet with them you are showing yourself as still under their authority and therefore are likely to be DF'd if you are "doing wrong".

Conclusion is, from my experience, don't meet with them.

5thGeneration

I think you're in the clear!

They don't go after inactive people they don't even know.

Make sure you DON'T call them though!!!

Am I In A Judicial Loophole? - advice please....

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