Am I In A Judicial Loophole? - advice please....

by Juniper 47 Replies latest jw friends

  • willyloman
    willyloman

    The reason the answers here are all over the map is because the dub organization is inconsistent in both the application and enforcement of the "rules" governing this situation. In addition, the written rules are purposely vague and their interpretation varies in different parts of the country/world.

    Consequently, no one can answer your question with 100% accuracy.

    I sat in a KH one night and heard an announcement that so-and-so had been DF'd and everybody in the congo looked around as if to say "Who?"

    It turned out it was the thirty-something son of an elder who no one in the congo had ever met, a guy who had left home at 18 and dropped the dub lifestyle. His father had recently learned that the son was a "sinner" of some particularly offensive (to him) kind and would not rest until the body of elders agreed to read the kid's name. They did this based on the the testimony of two witnesses, the father and mother. Never mind that no one knew him - neither as a witness nor in any other way - and the congo did not have his cards (the family moved in long after the boy left home).

    This is a rare event, sure, but the point is: Under some circumstances, elders can pretty much do anything they want.

  • hillbilly
    hillbilly

    as a long termer who probably saw it all, I'd have to correct that to they "shouldnt" DF him if they dont know him. You underestimate the power of a motivated BOE.... I have know BOE's that could break the proverbial anvil with a feather when it came to judicial matters... and they created enough personal havoc with people that it was a blessing to get tossed out.

    I've know folks who got axed with no notice and had no fair appeal. BOOKS OR NOT elders make it up as they go.... and take it from me CO's can make it worse if they intercede.

    ~Hill

  • 5thGeneration
    5thGeneration
    The reason the answers here are all over the map is because the dub organization is inconsistent in both the application and enforcement of the "rules"

    Maybe the answers are all over the map because some posters don't understand the current 'rules'.

    The official stand is that if they are not viewed as, or claiming to be, a jw in the local area there would be no reason to form a judicial committee.

    However, on occasion, there is a witch hunt but it is pretty rare.

    5th

  • ush419
    ush419

    My advice never tell anyone (parents included; especially) anything that can be used against you. Especially witnesses, they will feel beholden to rat you out. The idea of personal loyalty to anyone other than the publishing company never really enters most of their minds. when i had a prob with my parent(s) i just quit totally communicating with them period. in time they sought me out to communicate with me and couldn't understand how i could cut them off so easily. Well!!!!! Duh!!!!!

  • flipper
    flipper

    JUNIPER- Wow! This sounds eerily familiar to what I went through last year ! Although you are in a little better position than I was living out of state from your former congregation . You mentioned your parents recently " learned of my "unchristian "ways " . So, from that I'm assuming they already know you are living with someone ? Am I correct ? If that's the case then you need to determine if your parents are fanatical enough to turn you into or call your former congregation . If they wouldn't bother then don't sweat the small stuff . You won't be bothered by anybody. If they are fanatical JW's and just have to be "faithful" ecch ! to the organization , then they might report it to your former elders. Hopefully they would not give your address out . But these people can be crazy , so be prepared ! On the flip side of that coin, if mom and dad don't know you've done anything wrong, then the poster who said the two witness rule applies is right , they need two witnesses, and I would keep quiet and lie your rear off to keep your relationship with mom and dad ! Yes, the elders can and have disfellowshipped people in absentia if they felt two witnesses have really been there. So just be careful with what you say to any witness involved !

    Last year my ex-wife of 9 years turned me in falsely for the same thing you're talking about. The elders drove 2 hours north to another county to my house after 9 months of me denying anything and refusing to meet with them. They said they had disfellowshipped me in absentia for " circumstantial fornication" . No witnesses though. Long story short I fought them over it, going to an appeal committee, and I won! The appeal committee overturned the original jc committees decision , even getting directed by the society in a letter. So in short, if they have nothing on you , and they try to screw your relationship with your parents anyway by dfing you , I would fight their a$$ tooth and toenail. Don't let this crazy cult determine whether or not you can be with your parents. It was because of my 82 and 80 year old witness parents that i fought so hard, and it paid off. They respect my fade and my wife and I are close to them. It's worth it. Good luck, hope I gave you some things to think about ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • dawg
    dawg

    Man, listen to me here if you want to fade and not be DF..... do not go to any meetings with them period... the elders called my house and said they wanted to meet with me and I told them I didn't have any time to do that. I told them I was in college and working a job; they said i needed to make time and I told them I couldn't and to have a nice day..,.the elder stumbled a bit, said ggodby and that was the last I heard of it.

  • onacruse
    onacruse
    In my situation, can anyone disfellowship me if I have no contact with them?

    Yes.

    Can they df you if you don't go to the judicial meeting?

    Yes.

    Can I just not ever call the local kh to talk to the elders and live out my life in this loophole?

    Maybe.

  • 5thGeneration
    5thGeneration
    In my situation, can anyone disfellowship me if I have no contact with them?
    Yes.

    I disagree. I think it happens so rarely you shouldn't worry about it.

    No wrongdoing has been established, no witnesses to anything, no contact with the cong.

    Previous poster is wrong.

    a. No one even knows who you are.

    b. Even if they did, most likely you would be simply viewed as an inactive, spiritually sick brother.

  • minimus
    minimus

    Onacruse is 100% correct.

  • 5thGeneration
    5thGeneration

    Sorry minimus,

    Complete strangers with no publisher record card, no congregation file, no association with any congregation and not claiming to be an active JW will not be hunted down and disfellowshipped.

    You sure speak in absolutes for someone who's obviously been away a long time.

    There are some of us who are still in who know the scoop.

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