Self-Esteem Shot To Pieces - No Friends

by wheelintheskykeepsonturning 31 Replies latest jw experiences

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  jgnat

  Hey, I was never a witness but I was a geek. I was not in to drinking, partying or sex either. I was not screamingly popular. So I made friends with the library geeks. We got along OK.

  I've grown up a lot, and I've found my niche. Geek kids like me grow up to run the corporation, because we do our homework. I might not be friends with the party guy down in the mail room, but there are plenty of other people out there that are great to know and hang with.

  As others have said, the secret to making friends is first to know yourself and then to seek out those places where people like you hang out. There's no "worldly" and "witness". There's just people. And from recent events on the board, I'd say there's about an equal proportion of partyers, users, and abusers in both groups. And there's lots and lots of good people everywhere.

  http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Friends
• 

  spiritboi

  r u happy now? u have gained many friends here and now, one more. a naughty spiritboi! We understand wat u have gone through. I can guarantee that no one here will mock u for your past beliefs. We were once controlled by that dammed org too!

  Don't dwell on the past. It won't bring u anywhere. Look forward to the future...we are still young, a long journey to go. Think about your career....have a goal in life. wat do u want to accomplish....get a job, u will know more friends...Those jdubs told u worldly ppl r evil....it's not true. There r many good ppl out there that were very nice and understanding.

  Remember, never stand still! No point standing there blaiming your parents or the society, take that first step out into the world and learn to live with it. You alone is responsible for your future! Make short term goals! e.g. by december I want to celebrate christmas with my friends! We have confidence u can do it.

  u r always welcome to PM me....

  "A long journey starts with a single step"
• 

  Quandry

  Jesus some of you walk on eggs and carry a huge ass stick Well, I have thought about this statement and cannot begin to understand it. Care to explain?
• 

  SirNose586

  For example: i would never "go out" with girls who wanted to go out with me... because i was afraid they would ring my home and my mum would be "disappointed in me" and angry and upset at me. I remember one of the hottest girls in the grade below me wanted to go out with me... and the whole play ground stood around me and waited for me to asked her out... and when i wouldnt i lost tons of respect from my friends and they asked me if i was gay. And the thing is... i wanted to go out with her deep down... but i was so scared my mom would find out. Since girlfriends are the devil.

  Dude, you just described 8th grade for me. Word got around that a cute little oboeist had the hots for me (I was the French Horn player).

  Not that those little puppy love connections mean anything serious, but you know.....had to turn it down because of stupid dub brainwashing. Got called gay for awhile.

  Damn.

  Welcome to the board, bro.
• 

  Mincan

  Well, I have thought about this statement and cannot begin to understand it. Care to explain?

  Care to decrease your font size?

  To me it means that I would rather tread lightly and hold a big stick. Some here are walking on eggs and carrying a bigass stick.
• 

  Gretchen956

  Welcome to the forum. I too was raised a witness from childhood and suffered the associated social retardation as a result. Its still very difficult to make friends. But, one way I have found to make new friends is through hobbies or interests.

  What do you enjoy doing? Skiiing? Join a singles ski group, or any ski group for that matter. There are lots of groups within local communities to get involved with others with similar interests, especially in sports, but also other things. Having fun together loosens you up enough, then listen to people and hear them, and respond based on what they are saying.

  There are also lots of things on meetup.org (I think it's .org), like exJWs, political groups, and other interests. You might want to check that out as well.

  Good luck, life can be an adventure if you let it, it just depends on how you look at it!

  Sherry
• 

  Quandry

  Mincan

  I always use this font size. I have bad eyesight and like to see things in a larger font size. I still don't understand your comment about others here. Perhaps maybe others get It and I just don't understand.......
• 

  Bryan

  I remember in High School - Auditorium - sitting on the back row with two other witnesses. We sat there purposefully, of course. When everyone stood for the National Anthem... we kept our seats. I felt so uncomfortable. Then a booming voice from behind says "Are your legs broken or what!" I was scared as Hell. It was one of the coaches. "The other two didn't say a word; I replied "No Sir." A teacher came up and wispered to him that we were Jehovah's Witnesses. I suppose she understood better that we being brainwashed by our parents and the Tower.

  I know it's tough. When I finally got out (Took me 5 years to escape mentally) I found that a great place to meet new people was the local Community Theatre. These people, more times than not, are very accepting and open to pretty much everything.

  You need to get out there where you will have the oportunity to meet people.

  Best,

  Bryan

  Have You Seen My Mother
• 

  BluesBrother

  But it just doesn't seem to click for me - maybe i just want to do my own thing... sex, girlfriends, partying, etc. I don't know. But i have no friends in the world... so i really feel like i have no choice but to go back to meetings.

  Wheels is exactly where I was at the end of the 1960's . I was bored with the J W life, it did matter to me any more . I wanted no more of it although I did not disbelieve in the way that I do now. So I tried the "outside world" and failed to make any friends. I did not fit in there either. So I went back. I returned to something that I knew how to do - and then I was hooked for the next 25 years......

  Do not do it. You have made a partial break do not return out of a sense of failure ..Stick the course of freedom. It is not easy but hang on in there and you will find a niche and some real friends . Trust yourself....
• 

  Mincan

  I fear our friend has decided this is not the place for him, nor the side of the pasture he wishes to graze.