What you say is identical to feelings and experiences many others have had and it is emotionally disabling. It is a good thing if you are able to get to apostafests to meet like minded souls but maybe you need someone to be around more regularly. Maybe college artcourses or yoga groups - but really I don't know myself since I have been in your headspace for years on end. I don't know is my answer to you!
Self-Esteem Shot To Pieces - No Friends
by wheelintheskykeepsonturning 31 Replies latest jw experiences
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grewupJWnoselfesteem78-95
hello my poor friend....... how i relate to your loss of self esteem.......i'm am not quite sure what happened to my self esteem or weather i really had any to begin with..... i think the "organisation" was my self esteem........there is something unseen that goes on in those kingdom halls; to the youth.......we were all puppy dogs.... just wanting to be accepted...... massed within the phsycosis ... internilising the fear.......how sad when i think of my fellow victims.....
i projected the JW ideal at school and imagined all but i were skeletons ..........i wondered how many bodies would fit in the bull dozers we were all trained to operate after amargedon........
The phsycological damage for myself is beyond repair.........
I put on my mask...... i fool the world............... i live within my mind sitting alongside lions and lambs.........
"as soon as you hear PEACE & SECURITY on the television get to the hall as quickly as you can" (84-86 mid slogan)