For the ladies. Do you think that when you.....

by NotaNess 236 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  nvrgnbk

  Did you done bring it?

  Oh I been done brought i... crap...where did it go...

  ROFLMGDMFAO!
• 

  compound complex

  A witch waited on me at the market on 31 October and I asked if she was wearing her hair different today. She pulled off her pointy hat and showed me her braids.

  I knew something was different but just couldn't put my finger on it ...

  CoCo
• 

  nvrgnbk

  Sounds encantadora, CoCo.
• 

  dawg

  I'm with coolhand in some ways.... man, I'm 45, I've lived with and seen a lot of lovely ladies in those 45 years; so I'm not too impressed when I see a nice looking lady-i usually give her a glance and look away-no staring... I've lived with a few hot college gals and we didn't have sex, so I know I can respect their space. He;;, some were interested in me and some wern't... I respect that.

  But in defense of you ladies, I've had gay men throw themselves all over me, and it can make me a little unconfortable if they continue after I've told them I'm straight. I've always thought women must feel similar when a male approcahes them-but hell, we'd never meet any ladies if we didn't approach you. We have to give it a shot

  Good example was yesterday, it was homecoming here at UGA and a damn hot serority gal came and sat next to me at the bar, of course I talked to her and we had a conversation... but I could tell she was just friendly and didn't want anything from me other than conversation. I treated her with respest and didn't make her feel under pressure-hell, she was too young for me anyway... But I think it's ok to look and talk to the loverly ladies as long as you respect their personal space. ANd the simple fact is, all men love to look at the lovelies.
• 

  sweetstuff

  Maybe I am reading too much in to the whole style of dress issue presented here. Maybe it is as simple as "This feels sexy and I feel sexy today so this is what I will wear." If that is the extent of it then great. I think my wife feels that way. She is the most unpretentious person I kinow. She's oblivious to how her dress affects others. It is all a matter of how she feels that day or what is appropriate for work.

  Hi Cold Creek,

  That about sums it up, really. Some days I feel sexy and wear something sexy, other days I might wear a pair of jeans and a turtleneck and honestly, I haven't noticed any difference in the way I am treated by members of the opposite sex either way. I have a large chest, short of taping those puppies down and wearing something like a MOO MOO some people will stare at them. I dont' really notice or let it effect me, to me they are just breasts. They nurtured two children, they hold up my shirts. I do find it very restrictive though when people suggest that a woman who bares cleavage or leg, or midriff must automatically be looking for "attention".

  I have lost two dear friends permaturely to breast cancer and I guess what infuriates me so much about this thread is that the mentality that they are something that should be hidden less we be considered "loose" is such a throwback to the JW mentality, it makes me wonder how much of it people have really left behind. I saw two dear friends, lose their breasts, to cancer. One of them actually had a t-shirt made, in jest, that read, grab em will you can, they won't be around much longer, guess she was a real floozy for that, wasn't she? And you know what, I can tell you this with certainty, they would be appalled at some of the comments on this thread. So, I will wear mine proudly, displaying them in any way I bloody well want, thank you very much! And that does not mean, I am crying out for any man's attention, rather I am comfortable in my own skin, end of story.

  The mentality of well, "if she's wearing such and such she's asking for it" is petty childish junk, better left at the kingdumb hall. So, if a man wears tight jeans, and LOTS of them do, does that give a woman the right to oogle his crotch and suggestively lear at it? Oh, she would be out of order and showing no restrain or class right? Yet, according to NotaNess and those who agree, ladies should be able to stare in the same way, because hey, he's wearing tight jeans, HE IS ASKING FOR IT. HE WANTS YOU TO STARE AND MEASURE HIM UP LIKE A PIECE OF MEAT. Or say, a man who wears a kilt, I guess it would be appropriate for us ladies to try to look up it, come on, he's wearing it, he's asking for it. And dont' forget the look he has in his eye. He wants to be mitigated to nothing more than a body part, because look what he's wearing.

  Or perhaps, he likes the jeans, or the kilt. And hasn't given alot of thought as to how others will percieve it, cause he likes it, enough said. Yet, we females should be on some "higher" plane. Yeah, I wonder who came up with these societial rules of what's appropriate for a woman versus a man.
• 

  NotaNess

  I have lost two dear friends permaturely to breast cancer and I guess what infuriates me so much about this thread is that the mentality that they are something that should be hidden less we be considered "loose" is such a throwback to the JW mentality

  The mentality of well, "if she's wearing such and such she's asking for it" is petty childish junk

  AAHHHHH, back from fishing on a beautiful South Florida Day....and Well, even if people can't stay with my original topic, I guess some are venting their frustrations out and I'm glad to have helped.

  I'll forget all the names I was called. I love y'all
• 

  Anti-Christ

  Clothing is overrated.
• 

  llbh

  Question girl or a guy in a wheelchair or a beautiful girl or a guy, you will look but will you stare, ogle or treat them differently? What you, we do says allot. Women should never ever feel threatened by men for looking gorgeous, if they do it is the fault of the guy end of. He needs guidance if he is ignorant.

  llbh
• 

  coolhandluke

  i

  Coolhandluke: what's more of a statement of "LOOK AT ME"? Wearing a shirt that shows I am a woman, or branding your flesh forever by means of body modification. And starting a thread about it, no less. Do you see the irony in your statement? You may want people to judge you for other things yet you choose to get tattoos for your own personal reasons, but still you choose to you sit on your high moral horse and suggest that because you are "above" such things you don't "judge" yet you can see why other's shouldn't dress a certain way or show certain things unless they are looking for a certain reaction, when you yourself buck conformity because it's right for you? I think I am going to be ill.

  Do you know where my tattoo's are? They are on my back. No one knows they are there. Look Sweetstuff, I am not criticizing you for what you wear. You are a woman, proud and accomplished. I have no idea the fortitude it takes to raise kids. I have no idea what its like to survive that on your own. That makes you strong as hell in my book. In that strength though I assume you've had to be responsible not only to yourself but your children. Responsible for what you say, what you do, what they say and what they do. Is that not correct? You cannot control that you are an attractive woman with a nice body much as I can control being a large black man who looks like he crushes things. I'm a gentle guy and you aren't some cheap floozy. It doesn't matter what we wear or how we conduct ourselves, the world sees us a certain way. I'm above no one and my morals nor yours are in question here. All I'm saying is that when someone wears suggestive clothing people will think a certain way and form certain opinions. If I had tattoos on my face, they'd do the same.

  I got to admit, I think I am more disappointed in you for this attittude than I would be with alot of people. You dare to be different, that kilt wearing, tattooed larrikin who's strong and independant, yet, I'm a 30 something baggage carrying flirty floozy who's just begging for attention right? LOL Oh, wait, that's not how you see me, but you would never date a woman like "me", ROFL. This is priceless. Really, it is.

  I'm sorry I disappointed you. I truly am. When I wear my kilt out I do it for attention. I do it to start conversations, to be different. As for baggage, who doesnt have it. All I meant by my statements was that we all have a part of us that snaps to judgement. It is how we are wired. How we make decisions, by comparing it to things we know to be our own personal private reality of truth.

  As for me being a mid thirties woman with "baggage", define "baggage" please. Do you have no issues from your past? Would you want people to "assume" because you have tattoos that you must have "baggage"? Have all your past relationships worked out perfectly? Are you in a successful longterm marriage? What gems of wisdom from your baggage free existence can you share with someone as misguided as myself.

  I'm 28. No one makes it to this age or yours for that matter without baggage. I'll define my interpretation of baggage. Baggage involves experiences that we carry with us that shape and define how we perceive things. At times it can be negative. It makes us see people a certain way, helps to protect us from harm in situations that remind us of things that have caused past dammage. Sometimes our baggage is our ties to people that are impossible to irradicate from our lives. We simply must deal with them for one reason or another. I don't think children are baggage so I hope that is not what you thought I meant. I don't think you are misguided. I don't really know you. Again everything that I've said to you is based on the human nature of judging those we see based on nothing more than what we see to help us understand who they are and how we should relate to them. Maybe its evolution. "Thats a big assed dinosaur. He looks hungry. Maybe I should hide." "That nest of eggs looks unprotected. Maybe I can get one of them before the parents return." I really don't know.

  And btw, I like your tattoos, I respect your right to be an idividual, the difference is this, I would never assume you must be inferior in any way because of it (morally, mentally, socially), yet, because I have breasts and some of them, that's right, some cleavage appears in my avatar, I must be "looking for a certain reaction" right? The look on my face is just asking for it, right? What is the intent of your avatar picture?

  BTW, I like your picture. I think you are hot. If you walked past me on the street, I'd stop you and say "Listen, I know this is strange, me stopping you like this but I'm going to kick myself later if I don't find out your name and what you are like. Can we have tea sometime? At worst, perhaps we can make friends." I would never suggest that a look or a manner of dress is "asking for it" if asking for it is violence or actions unbecoming a gentleman. But if "asking for it" is attention, if you smiling at me from across the room is for attention, if you flirting with me is asking for attention, then yes, you are asking for it. The intent of my avatar picture is attention. I like the kilt. I like that people pay attention to it. I like that it starts conversations. I like that women wonder if I have the intestinal fortitude to wear it without underwear. I like that its different and singles me out. I like that. I'm an attention whore in some cases.

  We all, men and women express our sexuality in different ways and forms. Some are more comfortable with it than others, some reveal it in their dress, purposefully, or without realizing it. Some in the way they conduct themselves, some may be very conservative day-to-day. But in private can be voyeristic, liking to be "seen", as long as they believe its a private matter. Yet be the first to point a judgemental finger in public at others thinking their secrets protected.

  I agree wholeheartedly. I don't like judgemental people. therefore I really don't like me. I try my best to contain it but it is my nature. It is your nature too. It is all of our natures. When this person you describe sees someone outwardly, publically displaying what they are inwardly and privately it strikes a cord that says, "You are just like me but lacking my inhibitions. My noticing you exposes me inside my own head for the "freak" I don't want people to see I am." Much as perhaps your reaction at being told that how you dress evokes a certain reaction exposes the parts inside you that are really that way and how that is in contrast to how you want to be able to dress and appear however you want without judgement.

  In the end, human sexuality is a very mysterious thing and the less judgemental we all are, the better.

  Agreed. I'll try with you.
• 

  NotaNess

  Women should never ever feel threatened by men for looking gorgeous, if they do it is the fault of the guy

  Right, women shouldn't. If they do, then obviously it's probably not just staring or gawking. But still, if in a particular situation, a female is popping out all over the place (the cause), some idiots are gonna run with it (the effect of the cause).

  You know, I just had another thought. Have you seen in movies or TV shows, when a decked out girl/women looks over at maybe a nerdy character in the show, makes a face and says.."what are YOU looking at" ?. That is totally, "you're not good enough, attractive enough, or worthy enough to be looking at my hot stuff, so stop looking" Anyone agree? You know that attitude exists on the playing field. I've seen it before. And no Changeling, or NVRGNBK(?), that has never happened to me (to my knowledge), cause I don't gawk or stare.

  Plus, with such a catch like me, they all said, "why aren't YOU looking at me" ?