Tell Us About Your JW Father If You Had One.

by new boy 58 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Bumble Bee

  I loved my father deeply. I think if it wasn't for the religion we were in, that love would have been even deeper.

  My father survived a terrible childhood. Physical abuse, emotional abuse, mental abuse. He told us his mother saved his life many many times. He told me the only thing his father taught him how to do was drink.

  He made a decison to break the cycle of abuse, he didn't want to be like his father in any way. I send thanks out everyday that he decided that.

  He loved people and loved to laugh. He loved to read. He loved the outdoors. He loved his family and friends. He was warm and affectionate, and gave great hugs! He would give the shirt off his back to help others. He passed those things down to me.

  He had a hard life, growing up the way he did, survived two bad car accidents that he shouldn't have walked away from, but with strength, determination and will power, he did. He survived his wife dying from cancer, took care of her himself while raising 4 children.

  The problems were caused by the religion. You see, my dad liked to smoke. When the ban on smoking came out, he was DF'd. I could never understand, with all the will power that man had, all the things he had overcome in his life (and I barely scratched the surface above), he couldn't stop smoking. He did for a time, long enough to get reinstated, but then became a "closet" smoker. We knew he was doing it. It was torture for my brother and I to sit through the meetings and listen to the talks and read the articles on "secret sins" and how if we knew someone was doing any of these things it needed to be dealt with. It was also so very hard for us because he was "inactive" and didn't go to the meetings for years and years (not until the last several years of his life), and listen to the talks and read the articles that the only way to survive was to be in attendance, go in field service etc. We were convinced he was going to die at Armegedon. While this didn't drive a wedge between us, it certainly held us back in loving freely and openly. There was love there, for sure, but I always wonder "what if".

  He passed away in 2002, and there is not a day that goes by that I don't think of him, with love in my heart.

  BB
• 

  BIG D

  i spoke earlier about my dad, i said he never told us he loved us or huged us , ever, he was an elder and very stricy, since i was a small child, do it or get out, he was also abusive, and somewhat violent, he was in korea, 3 tours, lost part of his head, has a metal plate, shot several times, recieved the bronze star, served as, a sniper, hand to hand combat instructor, tunnel rat, many confirmed kills, many medals, 3 purple hearts, my siblings left home early, i left at 16, and never went back, he is still the same , and was on his deathbed once, and i told him i love him and gave him a big hug, he told me to stop, i told him you are my dad, and ill hug you if i want to!

  I am now a single dad with 3 smalll boys, i raise alone, i hug them each day,and kiss them, and tell them how much i love them , every day!!

  i did not follow the pattern of my father, he is the only dad i will ever have, and dont we all love him anyway!

  big d
• 

  helncon

  I have spoken many times here about my dad, so i guess he is a pivitol person in my life.

  My dad married my mum in 1974 and i know for a fact that he had asked many sisters to marry him but had turned him down ( unsure of the reasons) anyway when he met my mum that was it they were married 6 months later. Honestly i think my mum didn't know who she was marrying.

  They only got divorce jan 07

  He is now remarried in April 07

  I know my dad has taken the headship role too seriously by the the way of planning EVERYTHING i mean everything my mum never had a say in what would happen, i guess in a way it was good for her in the begginging but later in years i think it took a toll on her.

  My dad is a work-a-holic ad i guess thats where i get it from too.

  He always held the jw's up high they were the most important thing

  He was a fantastic provider but just couldn't provide the emotional support for my mum.

  He always helped out more than anyone in the kh but then would get $hitted on from them as well.

  I had a close relationship with him. Now its cold and made harder by geography.

  Loves my daughter to death.

  My son he hasn't had much to do with.

  Helen
• 

  sooner7nc

  My father spent 22 months in Seagoville federal prison as a C.Objector and then promptly left the religion when he got out. He went in about the time I was born, so he wasn't around me until I was 2 years old. That was probably one of the facts that caused the biggest emotional rift between us, and we've never been real close. Otherwise, he was a hardworking, but very moody and occasionally violent person. The funny thing is, even after being out for 35 years, if you were to argue doctrine with him now, he would be extremely opposed to anything said about JW's, and still considers himself one.

  sooner7nc
• 

  cognac

  He had some good qualities... Some of our best heart to hearts were on the stage!

  He hit us a lot, he was always mad. I still can hear the screaming of my brothers hiding under the bed as he dragged them out to beat them for God knows what...

  He swore a lot. He was the PO...

  Never got in trouble (that I know of) for any of it...

  Then I married (1st marriage, now divorced from him) somebody that hit me.

  Our relationship is fine now...
• 

  Nosferatu

  Well, he never got baptized because he couldn't quit smoking. Then he quit studying. The End.
• 

  Quentin

  My dad was strict about meeting attendence and fs, something that stayed with me till I left...never liked any of my jw friends as they were "untheocratic", yet never batted an eye about "worldly friends"...odd thing that.

  We had a decent relationship...drew closer the older I got...till he went back to the wt after being away from it for over twenty years. I was at his bedside the night he died, there were no jw's to be found...
• 

  zanex

  I loved him eventho he kept me at arms length right up until the moment he flew over the handlebars and his head hit the concrete and my relationship possibilities with him ended....damn JW's....

  He taught me so much....before i got df'd....gave me a love of chess and reading and of learning....but the same time told me that the witnesses were right...he died before i ever got a REAL chance to show him the person i am today...

  He did the best he could in raising me and my sis....my sis still in the borg....mom still there too....but my chances to regain him have run out....eh...whatever...love u dad....

  -Z-
• 

  proplog2

  My father is dead. He refused to go into military service in WWII even though he wasn't a JW. He was an elder (servant) shortly after baptism in 1950. He never believed the end was going to come in 1975. He used to play devil's advocate when he conducted the book study. He would purposely bring out controversial views to get people riled up. He wanted me to go to college because he felt I wouldn't make a go of it in the trades. I insisted on obeying the Watchtower and pioneered. I used to be mad at him because he offered to support me through college but wouldn't lift a finger to help me pioneer. He used to ask people who they are talking to when they pray. He would then ridicule them if they said Jehovah. Jehovah knows what you need so you must be praying to yourself. Even though he was odd to the point of being irritating people still speak fondly of him.
• 

  CuriousButterfly

  My Dad was the best father anyone could have. Extremely loving, attentive yet strict when need be all the while being an elder. His family came first no matter what. I do not fault my parents for being JWs and strict, it sure kept us out of trouble. They encouraged friends (JWs) and our home was always filled with our childhood friends.

  My Dad has made a few comments and basically apologized for not "allowing" us to do certain things. My reponse was "NOT a big deal, you did the best you could and loved us no matter what." To this day I am in awe at the sacrifices my parents made for us. Between everyday life, being an elder and the rules of the WTS that had to have been tough.