Tell Us About Your JW Father If You Had One. (page 4)

Open mind

Keith (New Boy) said:

"I wished now he had just came to me just once and said "Keith maybe the JWs are not the people you think they are." but he was to afraid of my mother to say that...even though he knew it to be true.I would have never believed him....back then....but it would have planted a seed.... "

Thank you. I am agonizing over those words.

(And thanks to BFD for PMing me this thread.)

As for my Dad, he's a true-believing, hard-working, humble, loyal-to-the-WT-to-the-end, man.

In his mind only those in full-time service, or those who are constantly self-flagellating because they can't, will make it through the Big A.

He has forgiven many thousands of dollars of debts to many, many deadbeat dubs over the years.

Someone earlier said their Dad was 95% work, 5% play.

Work IS play to my Dad. He'd be happy for 100% work if it wasn't for the occasional obligatory JW wedding or funeral.

I think he's told me he loves me once or twice.

I love and respect him. Just can't stand the religion.

Thanks again Keith for this very timely thread.

Open Mind

Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit

Wow are these some powerful posts. What a great thread.

My dad is a mild and kind person. He always said the same about his own dad. People have called my dad weak, but I don't believe that he is, he has always been a truly good person. He has been bullied by my mom. I learned more about what's really important from my dad-things like loyalty to family and the importance of having close friends. My mother, a 30 year pioneer, has been abusive to him physically, I've seen that, and verbally and mentally--because she's the boss. He became an elder because she pushed him to, it gave her more power.

He is now as biting and nasty as she is; although I know he wants to have a relationship with me, I know that she won't allow it. Sounds like Dawg's dad. Dawg, bless you for what you wrote about your dad. We don't speak, and I won't live falsely in order to get them to have a relationship with me.

My dad's an ex-Marine, but denies the honor of that service in lieu of the JW 'the military is evil' doctrine.

flipper

My Dad? - He is 82, been a witness since 1951. An elder since 1955. Was quiet , and not too approachable growing up, was busy servicing the congregations problems. He has probably told me verbally he loves me maybe 2 times if that my entire life ! I didn't fully understand him till I was in my 40's eight years ago ! He had an alcoholic father who left when he was 11, then had a non communicative stepfather raise him. So i came to understand the reasons he could not verbalize his affections to me. I forgave that a long time ago. But he was a good provider for mom, and us kids, just stunted verbally, emotionally, but still cries and is a softie and still gives hugs. Just can't speak affection! I really was much closer to my mom, a great communicator, I took after her ! But I love my dad and understand his foibles ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

calico

Is nice to everyone else except his family. Everyone at the hall adores him.

Nice to my face, but talks about me behind my back.

new boy

After reading these posts.....with tears in my eyes, I wonder if we should write a letter to our fathers. Telling them the things we have said here...

Would it do any good....probably not...my father is 85 years old... will he change?...doubtful.

But....who knows it could plant a seed...

Plus they could never ever say....they didn't know how we REALLY felt..

Keith Casarona

fifi40

Ours was a dysfunctional family. My dad was an only child, who had a very hard father. My dad married my mum and had 5 kids with her during the 26 years that there marriage lasted, he himself was hard and difficult and I think cheated on my mum.

After he got the 'troof' he gave up his career training racehorses and concentrated on running a horse stud and farm..........some time later he was convinced to go back to training racehorses and as he didnt gamble he remained a JW. In his younger years he was a jump jockey and so was used to hurling around racecourses at 30-40 mph on a horse, jumping large obstacles.........because of this he broke bones more regularly than most and experienced friends of his dying..........in some ways he was fearless.........but he never wanted his kids to follow in his footsteps.

He was a difficult man who expected his kids to work like adults..........we picked potatoes, mucked out stables, rode mad 2 year old newly broken horses which it was inevitable at some point would put you on the ground, we picked stones off of gallops, wild wheat out of wheat crops, shifted 100's of bales of straw and hay in the summer.......the list goes on.......and after my mum left him when I was 13 I took over running the house and cooking. Neither of may parents ever recognised or encouraged the intelligent, clever kids they had. My dad invented swear words I think........if he lost his temper which was often out would come a torrent of abuse.........yet on Sundays and Tuesday and Thursday nights he polished up into a charming and alluring individual..........he believed the truth and expected his kids to also.....despite the hypocrisy we were seeing.

My dad on occassion hit me for no reason, hit me when I had stitches in my face in the face, and has pinned me up against a door and threatened to shoot us both..........I didnt realise this was abuse until many years later when the resulting effects caught up with me.

My dad was all things......violent and abusive.......charming and loving........heartbroken and sad when my mum eventually left him......and sorry and heartbroken at the end of his life when he had time to reflect on how he had treated us. He died of Motor Neurone disease in 1989.

Whatever he was I loved him.

happehanna

My dad was an elder too, well loved, well respected and adored by his congregation, do anything for anybody anytime.

He was however extremely dogmatic and unreasonable when it came to the organization. He knew he could not win me around, when I said I would never love a god willing to kill family members who are not devout JW's I would never want to live in paradise knowing billions had died. I was liberated from it and he knew it.

He thought he knew best..............He refused to come to my daughter's wedding as she was marrying a D'ad man, when it came to his loyalty to the JW's there was no reasoning with him.

He died two years ago and begged me to return to the congregation, he tried so hard but in the end in our last conversation just before he died,.. he told me he loved and respected me for taking my stand

all in all he did what he thought was right I miss him! but not his religious dogma.

I loved the man, my father and not the elder part of him

this thread had helped me so much more than you could believe possible thank you

Life Is Grand

My dad became JW along with my mom when I was about 2-so that was a little over 40 years ago. My mom quit the religion a couple of years later-she couldn't play by their "rules"...but he somehow seemed to get something from them that he needed. He was a wonderful man, truly humble and loving to everyone he met.

I quit the JW's at the age of 19-was never baptised though-therefore, even though my dad was truly heartbroken that I wasn't a part of it all anymore, he never shunned me. I moved out, got married, had kids, and he became a wonderful grandfather to them. He became an elder after I had left home, but I think he was one of those few elders that truly cared about the people around him.

When he was 56, he was getting ready to take my four year old daughter on a camping trip along with my mom-he was outside setting up the trailer to pack it for their trip and died of a heart attack. The last sounds he heard were of his little grand daughter laughing and playing in the yard.

Getting that phone call was the worst day of my life...I'll never forget it and I'll never forget him, even though it has been over 15 years since that day.

Here's to you dad!

LIG

jambon1

Such good/terrible stories. My heart goes out to you all. I wasn't raised in the truth. My dad is a complete star!

new boy

My father was a socialapath. Loved people around, the life of the party. He treated his family completly different when there was no one to impress around....Plus we knew the real him. Thats why we always wanted to have company over....It was the only time Dad was cool....

He was a world class liar. He loved to impress his friends with stories that were at best maybe 50% true. I remember one time, I corrected him in front of his friends....he slapped the shit out of me....It was one of the few times he ever hit me.

Everytime I see him now (he is 85 years old)....He tells me the same stories he has for years as if I have never heard them before....Now I just smile and don't say a word.

He was a hard worker and I never saw him drunk, ever. He stayed with my mother even though she was one of the worst JW nut jobs on the planet. He was and is "Tony Soprino" He do anything for his friends....his enemys...different story.

He would and has given me the shirt off his back.

The most touching thing he ever said to me was "I know...I wasn't a very Good father...It's not because I didn't want to me...I didn't know HOW to be one"......Truth or lie...who knows.

I thought great, now things will change....that was 25 years ago.....same dad.

What is interesting after reading all the post here...That for most of us that even after all the shit our fathers have done to us...most of us still love them...and want to have that father son connection.

I know one thing, I love my father...I will never judge him...and who knows maybe he just like all the rest of the people on the planet....people who are doing the best they can with the "cards that were deal them."......people with the best intentions.

Tell Us About Your JW Father If You Had One.

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