Tell Us About Your JW Father If You Had One. (page 6)

Pika_Chu

My dad's a die-hard JW fanatic...that's all I'll say for now...

Was New Boy

It's funny how this thread got reposted....

Because my relationship with my father has changed since I first posted this thread.

I haven't talked to him in 6 months. He will be 89 years old next month if he lives. He is in bad health and will be dead any day now.

I have decided to take my own advice and choose option 2, that of rejection of any person or behavior that is harmfull...

My parents brought us to this country for better opportunities. My Poor non JW Dad had his life hijacked by the "truth" once my Mother started studying . Once she was baptized the doors of opportunity pretty much slammed shut for us in terms of educational opportunities, Sports, Music or other interests. He studied for a long time but couldn't bring himself to go from door to door so there was no way he could get baptized. We were told from the platform that people like my Dad would be destroyed at Armegeddon because they had learned the truth and didn't get baptized. He was left alone Tuestays, Thursdays and Sundays....wasn't part of our family study, worked two jobs so Mom could stay home or Pioneer, he didn't get invited to JW gatherings...didn't get to retire, didn't get to know his grandchildren because he died from not taking a Blood Transfusion at the advice of the JW's ....end of story.

WontLeave

Anyone whose parents were in for the 1975 debacle (especially if they came in because of it), are still in, and fight tooth-and-nail against anyone who doesn't worship the Society along with them probably has some deep issues. These mental/emotional problems are probably not caused by association with Jehovah's Witnesses, but rather targeted by Jehovah's Witnesses. I notice whenever I'd go on a "Bible" study (yeah, right) it was always with someone who had serious mental and/or emotional problems. The person was either mentally handicapped and easy prey for anyone selling anything or emotionally needy and studying just to have someone to come by and love-bomb them for their "progress".

Even though my parents knew about it, I never heard about 1975 until I found out about it on "apostate" websites. I never knew organ transplants were banned as "cannibalism". I never knew the literal heart was said to contol emotions. I never knew sterilization was - for all intents and purposes - banned (kind of like the mild counsel against beards that is used as a hard-line club). I never thought to check 607 B.C.E. until I found out about it on "apostate" websites. Parents who hide information from their children to keep them in their religion would probably be controlling and abusive under any circumstance. In my experience, these same parents will side with the liars against their own children, defending the indefensible and denying reality in spite of mountains of evidence.

I don't believe JWs make bad parents. I believe they attract bad parents. The JW religion is self-important (only we have the truth, only we will survive, only we are moral, etc. - they even judge each other), self-indulgent (it's okay to be on welfare, barely support my family, not repay loans - even to each other - etc. because I need it for "Jehovah's work"), self-righteous (too many to list). It seems the unwritten undercurrents of the average JW attitude wallow in narcissistic and/or antisocial personality disorders.

Then, of course, there are the emotionally-needy and delusional people who cling to the man-worship of the Organization tm just because their fragile psyche needs it. These unstable people aren't always going to make for the best parents, either. Of course, this is only my opinion and based solely on my personal experiences. Yours may not be the same as mine and may have led you to an entirely different perception.

no more kool aid

My father was an elder and pioneer when I was younger, my mom was a pioneer also. We moved around a lot to "where the need was greater", this meant never having longstanding friends or returning to the same school after summer break. We usually lived in a icky apartment or a trailer. My Dad helped form a new congregation in a rural area and my father has an affair with a much older woman. No one was disfellowshipped and my father gave the memorial talk the night before we left town ( so much for spiritual direction) My mom being the very whiny dependent type didn't leave him but held it against him. We moved again and again but this time my dad had quit pioneering and we made many career moves, all the time life was miserable because my mom fought with him everyday and continued to accuse him of affairs, I was just a kid and did not know what to think, he was still an elder.

Finally my mom became completely convinced he was having an affair, I was 14 years old. So we leave that state for our home state to live with relatives. This was my 11th school. My father was disfellowshipped and the letter was read in 3 congregations that I know of, my mother thought it would character building to sit through all three announcements, at that time they announced the sin also. Imagine sitting through that 3 times at age 14 with all those "christians " turning around to stare right at you! I never saw my father again for 30 yrs, I tried to prove what a good little witness I was by not trying to contact him. His own father never spoke to him again!

Well my mom wasn't going to be able to handle being alone for very long. Her divorce was final in January and she was remarried in September, to the biggest asshole of all time (elder of course). He has made everyone's life that is around him a living hell (including his own children who he has not laid eyes on in over a decade), but my mother adores him because he is not a cheater and by her own admission doesn't have to work anymore. I endured that man until 3 years ago when I walked out of the Kingdom Hall and never went back. I have not spoken to him or my mother in almost a year now. He is bordering on sociopathic, the relationship is ripped forever by the things he has done.

I did finally find my father, after 30yrs apart. He is 68 years old remarried, never had any more children just living life. Can't really ever be the same, it is a weird relationship he would like more but I just can't give it. He read CoC when it came out, he had doubts when 1975 came and went, he got himself out, at the price of his entire family, but didn't try very hard to get me out! Unforgivable

Fathers? With the exception of my husband, have not been so great for me.

NMKA

Magwitch

Thank you curious butterfly for reviving this thread. Quite interesting to read about the different child, father relationships.

My father is close to a saint in my eyes. He is 80 years old and was raised as a JW - baptized in the 30's - married my 3rd generation JW mom in the 50's. They have been hard core JWs their entire life - never, EVER doubting that this is the only true organization of this earth. They raised 5 kids in a decent style even though my father only had an eigth grade education. He was always soft spoken and gentle (and often emotional) - hugged and kissed us kids and always told us how much he loved us. He made my sister and I (and mother)feel like the most beautiful, refined women in the world. He was the congregation overseer from the 50's until the 70's when the elder arrangement was brought in - He has been an elder ever since. He is too kind to cut me off even though I am disfellowshipped. We talk everyday - he always reminds me how special I am to him and Jehovah. He is getting quite frail and I will so miss him when he is gone.

J. Hofer

father was a MS, didn't spare the rod and never learned how to express feelings. i hated him with a passion. from the age of about 13 i stopped talking to him, didn't even greet him when we passed on the stairs.

later on i kinda brought everything into perspective, the mind control, the relative poverty we lived in, his own parents not treating him any different and all that. so i stopped hating him, and now we exchange a few words now and then, but there's no such thing as a father-son relationship.

exwhyzee

They raised 5 kids in a decent style even though my father only had an eigth grade education. He was always soft spoken and gentle (and often emotional) - hugged and kissed us kids and always told us how much he loved us. He made my sister and I (and mother)feel like the most beautiful, refined women in the world

Magwitch: What an awesome thing to be able to say about your Dad. That single statement alone says just about all a father could hope to hear from his child. It would be cool if you could put that in a card and give it to him.

My Dad was a soft spoken gentle guy too and wasn't afraid to hug or snuggle with his kids or at bedtime quietly sing a little song in our ear that he made up himself. It was hard to terrible to think of him being killed a Armegeddon because he didn't get baptized.,but we did. I wish he was here so I could tell him something like what you said about your Dad, but I think he knew anyway.

Magwitch

EXWHYZEE...Thank you for some very good advice. I think I will put it in a card.

Tell Us About Your JW Father If You Had One.

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