Ready to out myself...

by Mickey mouse 35 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Mickey mouse
    Mickey mouse

    ...well, to you guys at least. I'm a long time lurker, still a JW (for how long I don't know? :-s) and at a bit of a crossroads.

    You've probably heard the story before. I was raised in "the truth", 3rd generation witness if the highest pedigree LOL! P/O father, bethelite elder brothers, that kind of thing. I have a strong faith in God, but not so much the WBTS. This latest change on the generation has shaken me, funny I should read about it first here! The thing is I have young children so it's not just about me, it's my family. My parents are aging and would be devastated if I left, it would be awful if they lost contact with their only grandchildren. I'm pretty sure they would cut contact and the thought that they would do that cuts me to the bone. Seems blood isn't thicker than WT teachings.

    I kind of planned to raise my children to know that their happiness is paramount to me and without the mind control tactics my parents used to keep us in line. Eventually they would make their own choice. I don't feel free to make a move whilst my parents are alive. I know that's terribly cowardly but I'm sure it would give my mother a heart attack or something and I couldn't have that on my conscience (kind of a "crisis of conscience" :-p isn't it?) I have been reading that online too, it's no wonder I'm having doubts is it?!

    Back in '95 I was youthful and foolish and lapped up the change of doctrine re the generation but looking back over the years I see a pattern of changing doctrine just to fit in with Armageddon's delay. Having done a little research I find myself seriously doubting 1914 and other teachings of the WT.

    Anyhow, thought I would introduce myself, would like to hear from anyone else who had similar dilemma's with parents and children and how things panned out for them.

  • darkuncle29
    darkuncle29

    Welcom Mickey, looks like Pluto left a surprise on the rug over by the door, but no worries.

    There is/was a poster here named Amazing, he wrote about what you're going through and how he successfully got his family out. Also, another poster here, Dansk wrote much of his story. He is still here on the board.

    In a topic I started a few days ago, Apostate Bible Studies, another poster here-Blondie- posted an anonymous version of Amazing's story.

    Those are good starting points, welcome to the board.

  • Awakened07
    Awakened07

    Welcome to the forum!

    I think many can relate to your story. I have "succesfully faded", meaning I'm 100% inactive but haven't made the final step, for family reasons like yourself.

    It's a tough process, and sometimes you may find yourself doubting your new outlook on life - the logical part of your brain may be 100% certain, but there's still that little piece of doubt; "What if...?". It goes away though. Some need to research a lot to reach that point, but I know of some that actually just left and never really thought about it much, and didn't feel the need to research the WBTS past for instance.

    Everyone's journey is different, and at the same time similar.

  • Abandoned
    Abandoned

    Welcome and good luck on your journey. Do what you need to do. Everybody's situation is different and one day, you're unique experiences will provide you the words that someone else needs to hear.

  • Marjorie
    Marjorie

    Hi MM, and welcome to JWD! (Another newbie...heh heh )

    Seriously though, you are not being a coward. You are being too hard on yourself, though. You are simply considering all your options, which is what a prudent person does. Whatever you decide, we will be here for you.

  • averyniceguy
    averyniceguy

    Welcome to the board! Where are you from? If you do not want to answer this question, you can PM me.

  • Akira
    Akira

    Hi!

    Oh my God! I understand completely how do you feel. I'm in a similar situation.

    Hugs to you and your family.

    Akira

  • Bumble Bee
    Bumble Bee

    Welcome to JWD!

    You might want to PM Open Mind. He is working on getting his wife and children out. Paralipomenon has his wife and children out, and she is posting on here now as Bobbi. I don't have children, but was able to finally break through to my husband and he's left as well and posting here.

    Everybody has a different way of doing things, you have to look at all the examples, take a bit from each one and find what works best for you and your situation. For family, all I have left in the JW religion that I care about are my step mother and sister (I have other family in, but don't really care if I talk to them ever again). They have chosen to have a relationship with me and my husband, in spite of the religion. For that I am truly thankful.

    BB

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    Hey Mick, I just faded. Semi-painful for relatives but not the big cutoff. I found I had less in common with them anyway as time went on. Of course you can live in the house next door and if they're in another congregation you won't hardly see them as it is. If you're not in the world of their congregation they are willing to put off familial friendships till after Armageddon because Theocratic activities keep them too busy to be human. and welcome... W.Once

  • MissingLink
    MissingLink

    Hey Mickey. Welcome! First off - my kids are big fans of your work.

    I'm in a very similar situation. I haven't posted my full story here, but I'm trying to get out for the kids sake. I WONT raise them in this organization. I'm in the middle of writing a long letter to my parents to break this news to them. It's tearing me up right now, and if I don't get it done soon then *I* will be the one having a heart attack.

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