by Mickey mouse 35 Replies latest jw experiences
Dear Mickey Mouse,
WELCOME to the forum!! We are happy to have you here!! Many here face the same dilema as you are facing. I am sure you will get alot who respond, sharing their experiences. We hope you will stick around, as you will find most here where just as dilusioned as yourself. Myself included. Check your inbox you have a PM from me.
Sincerely,
Lady Liberty
I'm pretty sure they would cut contact and the thought that they would do that cuts me to the bone.
Why? Your kids would not be disfellowshipped. Your happiness and their health and saftey is paramount. Do you want them to be JW's and shun you when they are older? Keep your grandkids from you? Then maybe you should consider getting them out now, before they end up in the cult. They will live a happier childhood. That is far more important than your parents' decision to shun all of you.
You are looking out for your parents, when you should be looking out more for your kids. Adults have to live with the decisions they make. Kids have no say. Consider your kids.
I recommend reading Ray Franz, both of his books, "crisis of conscience" and "in search of christian freedom". Um just like when we started studying with the borg, (short for WTBTS) read two books then dedicate. Read these two books and fade.
Welcome to JWD!
One thing that helps is realizing that YOU are not the one with the problem, THEY are. Remember, you finally know that you want to be a normal, sane person that fits into general society. Your family are the ones with issues. It's tough though....all the best to you.
Welcome! I hope you find a way to keep your family and your soul together. Many here know exactly what you are facing. I encourage you to take your time and don't feel pressured to figure it all out. You know who and what you are inside. Don't worry about keeping up with the ones who are more free (for whatever reason) to break it off now. We all do this in our own time if at all. My best wishes to you.
Shelly
Hi Mickey!
Another Fader... In my experience, it hurts them (and you) but you'll both live through a carefully planned fade. I do think you may find that if you continue to go to meetings etc that in time you wont be able to do it anymore.
I have been out more than two years now, and to be honest have got to the stage where I dont care an awful lot anymore if they cut me off or not, as I realised their love is conditional, and I dont want that for myself or my children.
It's a very raw and tough time you are going through, and as you have seen, MANY here understand exactly the place you're in, you wont be judged no matter what you decide.
Poppy xx
From one mouse to another...
I hear you brother.
You don't say how young your children actually are, or how 'aged' your parents are. If they are in their 70's and reletively fit they could live for another 20-30 years. That's a lot of years to waste in 'fading'
I suggest the fade until your children are old enough to understand the problem - explain that their grandparents rejection of them will be due to a heartless religion, an automated response that shouldn't be taken personally. Use that time wisely to educate them, teaching them HOW to think, not WHAT to think. Once they are old enough to understand what will happen let them help you make the descision.
Hi Mickey, You have PM
Do you have a mate? Are you married? I would be a lot easier if it was just you and the kids. I would think you could fade and save your parent's health. Too bad they don't care as much about their child as you do your children. Shunning is horrible. It's sad to put a cult before your family.
Best,
Bryan
