And one more thing-swearing is cursing and cursing is putting a curse on someone. That is witchcraft and I thought it was a sin.
Ok, so clearly, I can't keep my big, fat stinkin mouth shut even though...
by cognac 45 Replies latest jw friends
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avishai
It takes some time not everyone can just jump in the deep end. With my mom, it took years of slow hints, questions, etc. Socratic method is great for this. Lead them to the answers, let them think they're figgering it out on their own.
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JK666
Now I feel bad that I made a joke on your other thread. Sorry, I just like to make sex jokes.
I and my first wife were in the same situation as you were, and never came forward about it. I felt real guilty about it all the time we were married. When I found out about her numerous affairs, we got a divorce. It still bothered me so I went and talked to my presiding overseer about it. He discussed it with another elder, and got back to me and said it was no big deal, that it happened a long time ago.
I thought that it was such a waste all the guilt I felt over something that was "no big deal."
And it does take two to "tango." So don't feel bad about thing that you both agreed to. His guilt is not your fault.
JK
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Crumpet
Good vibes send your way.
Umm, wouldnt this count as porneia?
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Vivamus
I am sorry, but that is just so wrong in my opinion. You are talking about your husband, your partner. He deserves respect and time to think on his own, threathening to go to the elders is pushing and inconsiderate in my humble opinion.If he he doesn't want to read it. Tell him you want to go to the elders and confess what you guys did before you got married.
That will gert his attendtion.
Oh my goodness, what a great idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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darkuncle29
A word of caution: this...
If he he doesn't want to read it. Tell him you want to go to the elders and confess what you guys did before you got married.
That will gert his attendtion.
could be perceived by some as a betrayal of trust, its also blackmail (Damn formatting)
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darkuncle29
I think this is really good:
Socratic method is great for this. Lead them to the answers, let them think they're figgering it out on their own.
I also liked what your idea was, to just assemble some researched information and let him go through it on his own. If presented in a matter of fact way, unbiased and unemotional, he can read and reread this all he wants. You have less risk of trigering his JW armor, and you don't engage with his ego.
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AK - Jeff
I agree - blackmail is not the right approach to this.
Jeff
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carla
I had another ubm suggest what we called the 'nuclear option' before mine got baptized. First I didn't have the nerve, secondly I didn't want to give the elders any more power than they already had. Thirdly, I got nauseous just thinking of having to have a discussion with that arrogant s.o. b. and give out any details of MY life to the likes of him knowing it would be all over the hall in 15 minutes.
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Eliveleth
Cognac,
May I ask you a personal question? Why were you a JW for all those years?
Was it to please God or was it just something that you were born into? Or sometimes it is both.That is what it was for me. I became a JW because of my parents, but because I wanted to please God, I stayed. If it is your desire to please God then consider what solution His Word says. We all have (including JWs) a sinful nature. We cannot rid ourselves of it. We have to give it to God. When we confess our sins to one another and ask for forgiveness, God will forgive and remove the sin from us.
James 5:16: "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."
1 John 1:9: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
We have all done things that we are ashamed of. The enemy uses our unconfessed sins to hold us captive. This is real blackmail. We think of how wicked we are and that if anyone knew, we would be destroyed. That is how he uses our concealed sins. Let me confess to you. My husband and I had sex before we were married. He was a Theocratic Ministry School Servant. We never told anyone. We never confessed to the Servants (as they were then called) We carried that guilt most of our lives. We never talked about it, but it was there. When we left the WT and found out that we could invite Jesus into our lives and confess our sins without being condemned, it was like a huge burden was lifted. Most of us feel that if everyone knew what kind of people we were, they would condemn us. We are all condemned in our flesh, but Jesus died for all our sins, past,present, future. We are FREE!!! No one can condemn us, not even ourselves.
Romans 8: 1- 10: 1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering.And so he condemned sin in sinful man, In order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit. Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful manis death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God. You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. 11 And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you." (Actually just read the whole chapter)
We as humans, no matter how hard we try are going to do wrong things (It is our sin-nature). That is what Christ died for. We cannot stop sinning until we allow Jesus to be Lord of our lives. That is what He died for!. Because of what He did for us God does not see our sins. Jesus covered them with his blood.
Isaiah 1:18:"Come now, let us reason together," says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool". When you were a kid did you ever look through red celephane and not be able to see the red objects in the room? Well God sees through Jesus RED blood and does not see our SCARLET sins. As a JW I did not understand that I could ask Jesus into my life. I thought as long as I obeyed the rules of the Bible and God's Organization, I was OK. After I got free from all the pre-programming and found out that I could ask for Holy Spirit, then I was able to really see what the real truth was.
Here I am. an old lady. confessing my youthful sins. As a JW I could not do this. As a free Christian, set free by the blood of Christ and enlightened by Holy Spirit, I am able to do this. My sin is set out on the Internet forever (They say they are never erased on the web) but they are erased by Jesus who set me and all those who receive Him free.
I hope you do not see this as "preaching". I would never do that. I am just suggesting that you and your husband confess these sins to one another and ask forgiveness of each other and from God and He will set you both free.
I pray that you will allow Jesus to show you His love.
Love and hugs,
Velta