Ok, so clearly, I can't keep my big, fat stinkin mouth shut even though... (page 3)

changeling

Your situation reminds me of one some friends of ours were involved in a couple of years ago.

They were a couple in their late 20's. Married for about 7 years. He a MS, she a regular pioneer. Apparently, their "courtship" was not "chaste" by JW standards. Their conscience got the best of them and they confessed. The outcome: All their priviledges were removed and they were both PUBLICLY reproved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They were shocked! They figured they would get private reproof and lose privilidges since they had commited "porneia", but they never saw the public thing coming. No one knew of their "issue" but the two of them.

Anyway, they were totally despondent after the announcement. The entire cong was scratching their heads thinking what could two married people have gotten themselves into to get reproved for??????? You know how the rumor mill works...

The husband confided in my son in law and my daughter told me the story. Apparently, the couple does not mind people knowing what happend because the truth is way less juicy than the stuff the "friends" were oming up with.

The moral of this story? If you make the mistake of confessing you will live to regret it.

changeling

Must obey!

Good post Velta.

The fact that your husband is apparently consumed with guilt over this reveals a lack of faith in the power of Jesus to forgive your sins, if you want to look at them that way. You were both in love and did some things you felt were offensive to God. But you were still in love, right? So how bad can it be. But it would still be fine to both pray to God and ask for his forgiveness, together, sincerely and heartfeltly. Then JUST LET IT GO! Have faith that Jesus sacrifice is big and powerful enough to cover your sins, no matter how big they feel on your conscience. If after that your husband still carries the guilt around with him then he is insulting Jehovah and Jesus, much more than the original sin! Why? Because to not believe he is fully forgiven is like saying he does not believe that Jesus' ransom sacrifice & his shed blood is powerful & special enough to cover his sins. So the key is for him to meditate on that. But unfortunately JW's do not have a real relationship with Jesus and this is why many feel no sense of forgiveness until they run to the elders; JW's are mentally brainwashed into feeling that they must have some tangible reconciliation with the mother organisation to get on with their lives, rather than focusing instead on their relationship with God and Jesus. Help him focus on Jesus, not the organisation and the elders, and you will win!

Cc81

You have a PM!

cognac

ok, I think my viewpoint is different then some on this... maybe I'm wrong however, this is the way I feel...

I think new boy is right. hold on, hold on there is a reason though... If somebody really and truly believes that this is the truth (I know I did) the guilt of this could absolutely eat you alive. This has been over a year and he is carrying a tremenous burden on him...

Based on that, if he doesn't want to listen to what I have to say, then what is worse, carrying around this guilt or going to the elders... For some, it could be carrying around the guilt, for others, it could be going to the elders.

I know my husband very, very well. I know that it would be very difficult to go to the elders so I would set it up so it would be easier (i.e moving to a different hall). I just don't want him to have to live with this weight on him.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I will at the very least talk to him about going to the elders if he didn't want to read what I had put together. However, no, I would never threaten him or push him to do something he didn't want to do. Like new boy said, I would tell him I want to go, I was in no way going to threaten him that I was going to go.

cognac

Also, to answer a couple of other questions...

I was raised as a JW.

Also, I based on what the Mosaic Law and the Apostle Pauls letter in the Corinthians regarding sex before a person actually gets married and based on what the greek definitian of porneia is, I, in no way feel guilty before Jehovah.

However, based on the fact that at the time I thought is what a sin before Jehovah and based on the fact that my husband thought and still thinks its a sin before Jehovah I am sorry for.

Yes, my husband and I already resolved this between eachother. I apologized to Jehovah because something that I thought was a sin I did anyways.

However, at this point, I feel that I have to help my husband get this resolved in his own heart so that he does not have to carry around this burden with him.

Cellist

Cognac, it sounds like you understand your own situation very well. We wish you the best in helping your husband.

And, welcome to JWD.

Cellist

mouthy

When your both tucked up in bed !!!! And you tell him it was the best thing that happened to you that you found each other why not say the prayer together.....
"Lord we are sinners. You tell us that if we confess to YOU!!!! You forgive us .You throw our sins into the lake of forgivness & tell all NOT to fish there:

I promise you if you go to the elders it will be gossip. I have met MANY elders ,Who told me they told there wives what the trouble was ,& the wives told their best friends etc: etc: etc: THE (JW) Like a bit of gossip like all others they too are human

Hortensia

what have the elders got to do with it? It's between you and your husband. I don't remember anything in the bible that says you have to confess to an elder. Doesn't the bible say you have to confess to the one you wronged? Confess to each other that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to jump the gun before getting married, but that you are glad you are married to each other and will remain faithful.

It isn't a good idea at all to go to the elders, in my opinion. They are definitely imperfect, and often make a situation worse rather than better.

worldtraveller

Try confessing your sins to Jesus, instead of confessing to a giant real estate corporation know as the WT.

Ok, so clearly, I can't keep my big, fat stinkin mouth shut even though...

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