My story is a typical one I'm sure.... I was Raised in the "Truth", the teachings being drilled into my head from day 1. Now that I'm an adult i came to the realization that the only reason i was even hanging around was so that i wouldn't lose my friends and family. Growing up, Neither of my parents were "Strong" so to speak, (Of all in my family including siblings, my Father is the only one who is involved anymore) but WBTS teachings still controlled my life. No holidays, birthdays, friends outside the hall, extra schooling, sports etc. All my life ive had doubts, but to question things is to doubt god himself, so i always kept it to myself. I finished high school, got married way to young (Like many witnesses so that I could have sex), started working full time, and became severely depressed in the process. I sought therapy, and ended up on medication to help me deal with the anxiety that this brought about. After going through the motions for years i finally decided a year ago to make a change. I stopped going in the ministry first, because i felt it was hypocritical of me to try and convince others of something that i wasn't convinced of myself. I still went to meetings with my wife for about 6 months before stopping completely. I struggled for a very long time with the fact that i was going to lose my friends and family, and everything that was important to me. The way i look at it now though, is that if someone doesn't want to be my friend or love me unconditionally because i disagree with their religious viewpoint, then they didn't truly value their relationship with me anyway. Fortunately, i have a wife who is wholly supportive of me choosing for myself. She is still active and doesn't agree with the way i feel, but she doesn't try to guilt me into coming back either. Slowly, my "friends" have stopped calling me, and little by little i think the people that think i "Need a bible study" are backing off. So essentially, I'm starting my life over at this point. Im glad to say that I started going to school online and at night, something that was discouraged growing up. I feel better about life than i ever have, not having to worry that every small decision i make jeopardizes my relationship with god. I actually feel hopeful about the future for the first time in my life. Its lame that it took all this for it to happen though...
