My wife says "They miss you at the Hall" (page 2)

oompa

how bout see if they will come over for some Texas holdem?......I just get "so and so said hi" every meeting....oompa

Dagney

I want to say "Tell them to call me" but I really don't want them bugging me just to say the same "You should come to the meeting" garbage. If I thought any of the ones at my hall were really tight friends, I would press that a bit. Except for my best friend, out-of-state, whom I have recently seen and who still accepts me even though he's an assimilated JW, I understand that my friends in this last cong. were all elders and the like. They have basically abandoned me for the organization and I prefer they stay away.

That's my feeling. I really don't want contact anymore. So what I say now, and I mean it, is "you are so kind, I appreciate your thoughtfulness." And it usually stops it from going further.

OnTheWayOut

JWDaughter, some will and some won't "eat" with me.

I posted awhile back about how some elders sat at a different table at a restaraunt
because of me: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/141876/1.ashx

So this fellow from the congregation my wife goes to (and I am inactive from for almost 6 months)
is moving to where the need is greater. .....
He had this going away party this weekend at a restaurant. .....Even though I know lots of dubs
from the cong. will be there, ..... I decided to go. .....
.....One of the cong. elders is there. He looks surprised to see me- surprised not in
a "HEY, GOOD TO SEE YA" way, but more like, "OH, OnTheWayOut is here, what should I say?"
.....
Eventually, another cong. elder arrives. He comes with the out-of-town elder who was the speaker
and the speaker's family. There were other dubs with them (all from the cong.) and the arriving elder
says, "Hello OnTheWayOut, it is good to see you." Next he talks to the first elder who was already
there. The two of them talk into each other's ears in that "Keep it secret" way. Well, the both of them
go off to talk to the host while everyone else keeps saying hello to everyone, enjoying themselves.
I didn't know the speaker, so I said hello to him and his family.
The two elders come back, and ask the speaker and everyone that came with them to move out of the
area to another table. You could see the table, but it was clear across the restaurant. One of the
elders explains that they came here to "host" the speaker, so they will be sitting at another table where
they can talk.
Well, this is not a restaurant on their beaten path. They clearly came here to be with the large party. The
MS is just arriving and he asks what's wrong. They whisper something to him, but he says, "Okay, well we
are all here if you change your mind." I am no idiot. While the rest of the large party didn't seem to
wonder or question them, I know what just happened. They didn't "shun" me, but they didn't want to "join"
me. They didn't want to say anything, because I am not marked or anything. They left the party to go sit
elsewhere until after everyone had eaten.
Once the food was served and eaten, the rank and file from their party came back to the party. The
speaker (who didn't know my situation) and his family came over. The elder's wives came over. The
two elders by themselves looked silly, so they came back to the party. I guess they solved their little
dilema. They didn't "eat" with me, which could question their status as elders (in their minds anyway).

I was fairly popular with the members. Many are able to "eat" with me as long as they aren't
violating any rules. That's what gets them- the rules. Many will be afraid to eat with me, as they
are more of the mindset that anything not fully "for" Jehovah is "against" him.

From what I have seen, if I was at a lunch now, the subject of my not going to meetings would be
brought up, but anything beyond polite answers would be like an 800 lb. gorilla in the room. They
would try to ignore it, but would be scared to death of it if it says something, so they would get the
heck outta there.

lfcviking

"Tell her I am right here, a phone call away."

Exactly! If they truly missed you they would give you a phone call or even come and visit you.

Them saying "I miss you" or "i missed you the other night" is just an insincere, programmed response to you being absent at one or two meetings.

truthsetsonefree

I know how this is. They all say the same thing. Just wait that they find out your views. Then they won't want you anywhere near the Hall.

Isaac

momzcrazy

I would tell my husband the same thing. An old friend of ours from UT married a sister in our hall in TN. He became a pioneer and elder and would ask about him. He would just nod and say that's nice. And then go back to watching TV.

momz

jaguarbass

They tell that to everyone who stops attending.

I used to tell them. "Your life will be a lot better, if you stop thinking about me, and think about yourself".

And then you can throw in, "I dont need someone as screwed up as you telling me what to do."

I found they usually left me alone after that last line.

You got to do them like they do you. Tough love.

joannadandy

My parents have used that on me - with my friends I grew up with..."She said she misses you so much"..."Did she ask for my phone number, or address?"..."no"..."oh"

I don't think they get it. In my own case I have not been DF'd or DA'd -- so there really is no reason they couldn't give me a call.

chickpea

i must confess somewhat shamefacedly>>>...... there was one particular sister at the hall known to be an airhead, and when we had a chance public encounter, she said that "we miss you at the meetings" robotic attempt to "share the love"..... i answered her with a total non sequitur>>>> how do you know?

her expression as she tried to wrap her head around that was worth the time wasted to have the exchange in the first place

Zico

Think yourself lucky. When they do bother to phone, it can be very awkward.

I hate the phone.

My wife says "They miss you at the Hall"

Share this