It is interesting how the Jw's try and 'balance' the rules with their conditional love isn't it?
During my extended 'not Da'd yet, but fading hard' period, one of the bro's who was very good friend of mine for a very long time [like 20 years], finally showed up at my house after maybe 2 years. He would not actually come inside, but stood on my patio while telling me that 'we miss you at the hall'. That conversation went like this:
Me: Hi Bill. Nice to see you.
Bill: I just wanted to come by and let you know that we miss you at the hall.
Me: You know Bill, that in the 2 years that I have been gone, only one elder ever bothered to show up here, and he was only here to invite me to the Memorial? No one else. Not a call or a knock. When my mom died, the whole damned congregation boycotted her funeral, as if she had died of the bubonic plague, or that I was infected with Aids or something.
Bill just looked sheepish and mumbles something I can't recall.
Bill: I am dying, and I wanted to make sure that before I go, that I made an effort to get you back to Jehovah.
Note: Bill really was dying. He had Lupus and it had settled in his heart muscle. He told me that at the time we spoke his heart was only contracting about 25% what it should have been. He died a couple months later.
Me: I am so sorry for your health issues. We have been very good friends for a very long time. On the matter of my return to the Kingdom Hall, I think you know that is not going to happen. I have tried to tell you the reasons before, but you won't hear them. It is not the 'truth' Bill, and I will not be able to pretend it is anymore.
Bill: Jeff, the elders 'warned' me not to come here and speak with you - I told them that I would not eat a meal with you, or just fellowship, but that I wanted one last chance to help you see your folly.
He was more concerned with eating or not with me in the final analysis. Though I had never met the Scriptural definition of one who had denied Christ, the reason for not 'eating with such a man', I had been judged and mentally executed by the brotherhood. The elders had done the behind the scenes work to assure that. This man and I had spent thousands of hours together, talking and preaching and working on projects - but his ultimate concern was that he kept a rule made by men.
It was truly an epiphany in ways - a realization of just how conditional the love is that Jw's have for one another.
Our visit ended with a hug and my assurance of love for him - I don't recall his reciprocation in that regard. I never saw him alive again. I was not welcome at his funeral [sales talk], so I didn't go.
And this guy was perhaps the most genuine person in regards to interest in me after leaving. All the rest was talk, and no action at all.
Jeff
