FemaleThinking?

by R.Crusoe 99 Replies latest jw friends

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  AWAKE&WATCHING

  I will not elaborate - suffice to say there are many problems between the two groups which could theoretically be better resolved via trusting and sincere communication, but the differences loom so large that the reality will likely play out more like a poker game where each keeps their cards hidden till needed. And such a system is one of winners and losers, not happy families!

  Treat people as individuals not "groups". When you meet a woman you have a preconceived idea she is in a group that you don't particularly like.

  Change your attitude and you change your life.
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  cognizant dissident

  Many of my queries result from an underlying experience of women!

  I guessed this was the case!

  And knowing as I do that many of them are all too over enthusiastic about certain males, again from years of impartial observations, I attempt to classify why my experience is where it is in the spectrum of male-female interactions.

  Well, this is where the mistake in logic comes in IMO. It is in "attempt to classify" male and female interactions based upon your own past experiences. I too have been guilty of this in the past and very many men and women have also been. Hence the battle of the sexes. However, it is not necessary to relate to each other in this manner and also not conducive to good relationships with the opposite sex (or any other group) as it polarizes men and women into opposite camps "us and them". For instance, if I was molested by an Indian man when I was a young girl, shall I allow that to color my view of all men as potential rapists, or only Indian men? If I did, then I would be putting out that vibe of "guarded" "protective" and "defensive" whenever I meet a man. If I do not allow my past experience, as real and as true as it was, to color my interaction with other men, then I am truly open to the possibility of seeing each man as a unique individual, who possesses qualities I may admire (or not so much)

  So any hypothesis I make is an attempt to embrace that experience but not to stereotype or judge it.

  My point exactly, to embrace that experience you had, learn from it, move on from it, but not to use as indicative or predictive of "all women". That is where error and assumption lie.

  That is why I invited the expertise of others to enlighten me, together with some light hearted taunting at the numerous popcorn posters.

  No one on this forum, man or woman, can enlighten you about "women" or "men". They can only share with you their own personal experiences. To consider their experiences as any more indicative of the nature of men or women is to make the same mistake as taking your own experiences to be indicative.

  But many are noticably reluctant and everyone knows there is something that creates a feeling in them which results in hesitation before saying exactly what they feel and think! A sort of JW world of thinking and not saying anything! Why do you suppose that is?

  Perhaps they are reluctant because they are afraid to play with fire! Perhaps they understand the inherent danger in stereotypes. That they are polarizing and do not lead to greater understanding and connection but to separation and ill feelings. We have only to look to the current thread on Islam to see the demonstration of that reality. While I certainly do not wish to return to the JW world of thinking but not being allowed to say anything, that doesn't mean it isn't beneficial to put some deep thought into what I'm going to say before I say it!

  Cog (of the atypical "thinking female" class)
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  TJ - iAmCleared2Land

  If I even attempt to answer this and my wife sees this, I'll probably won't get laid for a month. So my answer is: I have no answer.

  Dang, dude, you're just making their point about how we think!! :-) I hope Crumpet's observation about evolutionary change is spot on.
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  LouBelle

  Ray - okay got you - was just checking...

  Dogaradodya - can you please stop posting that stupied Jedi think in every single topic - it's getting irritating

  beksbks - yup you correct - most are like that. Very few women (like me) say what they mean, we don't confuse issues - if I ask if I look fat in the jeans and someone says I do how can I take offence?? If I have issues with someone in the office - it gets sorted out there and then, not brought up and rehashed at a later state, we move on....
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  DJK

  Darn, I ran out of popcorn.
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  R.Crusoe

  There is another and maybe more significant force at work in this thread!

  It is a subliminal one and related to how collectively we all tend to STEREOTYPE psychological deviants!

  It is the same force that looms above anyone who was or was suspected of being a do sexual deviant or a criminal of various forms!

  It is a state of conditioning in many lines of enquiry which prevents real and valid observation - especially when a person who has presented clear views also presents obscure or flawed ones. The notion is not to take the good and weed out the badbut toreject the whole! This is a powerful ideology many in our societies are completely JW'd* over. I see many aspects of our cultures which have been well and truly JWd* without ever thinking they have.

  It is a powerful force and one collective groups cannot see beyond or see a turning point to in an individual under scrutiny even when it has already occured or even if it was never there in the first place. They are convinced and will intelligently argue their 'belief' to the last because it is one they intelligently worked out for themselves way back when and never think of as flawed or misconstrued - either in their interpretation or in the evidence before them! They play the percentage game which always arrives back where they are!

  It reminds me of how non-JW family treat ex JWs differently over exactly the same problem compared to a family member who was never a JW.

  It is the same sort of force that lumps females together collectively to stand against males unless the male 'converts' and becomes their cheer leader.

  You all know what force I refer to. It is a force hard to define! I wonder if any of you can??

  JWd* - my term for decribing a notion that a certain way of thinking of circular reasoning is completely unflawed despite a sense that it is illogical, on the grounds that the whole community already accept that it is unflawed for stated reasons which seem vaguely logical.

  Sometimes it further includes the insatiable ' public interest' philosophy, to justify applying the notion to the detriment of a said individual.

  I suppose that's why there is so much popcorn around!!
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  digderidoo

  I haven't a clue how women think. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.
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  beksbks

  But Lou Belle, that's just my point. If there are those like you, and I, and many others I am familiar with, then the generalization doesn't work. And I think the same goes for men. Stereotyping doesn't work, because there are always exceptions, and there is no way to count and prove which stereotype is the more accurate. I choose to approach people as individuals. Except Republicans
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  cognizant dissident

  You all know what force I refer to. It is a force hard to define! I wonder if any of you can??

  Well, I for one, do not know what force you are referring to. That last post made a lot of claims but was very vague. Can you give some specific examples as to what you are referring to?

  I also didn't understand the application of this undefined sublimanal force to sexual deviants?

  Cog
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  R.Crusoe

  The subliminal forces that loom above us all! Just a few:

  My point about psychological/sexual/criminal individuals viewed as deviants is a good way to highlight some of the forces which are not easily quantified!!

  It is difficult for some to hold an unbiased conversation with someone who is, or maybe suspected of harboring one of the above conditions in their lives. Their speaking about their feelings and thoughts are responded to by many individuals negatively or in ways which are condescending. As if they are now subhuman even if the point they make is valid! Religious indoctrination is partly responsible for societies reaction as is media and political ideology - as can be seen by simply comparing women criminalised in other lands whilst laughing with friends about similar behaviours here! It is also the case respecting someone who is classed with a psychological disorder. If they make a poignant point which does not concur with a group of others, it is likely to be branded as due in some linked way to their condition allowing the group to feel unchallenged in their thinking or whatever! And the person concerned is often completely aware of how they are being treated so then reacts to that feeling which then seems to reinforce what the group said about their condition - much to their satisfaction!

  And so the individual will not know how to successfully offer any meaningful views which will not subsequently be treated as inferior in some way or other - as opposed to a regular person regarded as a respectable member of society! And so that persons psychology is gonna find it very difficult to ever believe anyone is treating them like a regular respectable person, even if they are trying to act and speak like one as everyone wishes! The cumulative effect of such treatment is demoralising and self fulfilling. This is the paradox of societies subliminal forces which regular people unconsciously and forcefully apply!

  Similar forces are at play in collective views of females or males and which can become more dominant in carrying its momentum to increase its stake depends upon the current trends in that particular society at that particular time.

  It is said that girls and boys pick up thousands of hidden signals of expectation from carers before they even learn to read or write!

  They learn how to do what is stereotypically expected of each gender without it being told to them whether or not it suits their persona! This continues on to promote conflicts between each and the expectations they have of each other which have rarely been synchronised in the development of both genders! Wherever you look in the world there always seems to be a gender power struggle.

  As such none are true reflections of respectability or morality or justice or equality but powerful subliminal forces vying for complete control or dominance. And the ones now present are conditioning the next generation to promote another layer of conflicting essences by adjusting in whatever ways current forces command.

  It is a big subject and one which I am seeing the more I think! It does not inspire me but engages me in some sort of depressing reaction! As such I am unlikely to delve at length into it! Otherwise I should cease and write a book!