Wow Mincan.
I believe my MIL is BPD. Are there any meds that can help? Last year was a perfect storm of life changes for me and I had trouble coping. Deperssion/SAD. Spent weeks fighting it but it was wearing me down. Zoloft helped a LOT.
Burn
Why lie?
by Crumpet 62 Replies latest jw friends
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Mary
People lie for a variety of reasons. How many husbands have lied when asked the inevitable "does this make me look fat?" by their wives or vise versa? That's not really a big big deal. Other people lie to make their lives sound more interesting than what it really is. Teenagers I think, are especially prone to distorting the truth when they're amongst their peers. Anything from "I slept with [the hottest chick in school]" or "I told my old man to **** off the other night and he did" or "So and so asked me out on Friday night". Of course, many adults are prone to telling the same kind of lies as these.
Then there are the pathological liars, who lie about anything and everything and actually believe their own lies. These people can pass lie detector tests. Most of the time there's no reason for them to lie but they do anyway and get pissed off when people start to question their outlandish claims.
Then there are the attention seekers. There was a sister in my old congregation who would say anything to get attention. The weird thing was, she would purposely say something bizarre in order for people to think that she was crazier than what she really was. Which DOES in fact, make her a loon. She would come up to you after the meeting and say "Did I say anything strange about [insert name here]?" Most people would just say "no you didn't" and smile indulgently. After a while, people tired of it and a few told her to knock it off. She wasn't getting the attention she wanted so she upped her craziness by asking "Did I say anything about [insert name here] molesting a child?" I kid you not. I got quite forceful with her when she was foolish enough to ask me that and told her to knock it off. She was pissed off at me but she never asked it again. Desperate for attention, she was crazy enough to tell the elders that she had been doing drugs and wasn't sorry. They gave her attention all right: she got DF'd.
Next are the con artists. They plan out a scenario whereby they can get alot of sympathy and/or money from people, usually by inventing an illness. We all saw it on here with Trevor and I remember reading in the Toronto Star a couple of years ago about a woman who took her 7 year old daughter to a doctor for 'testing'. Nothing was wrong with the little girl but her mother told her she had cancer and was dying. She shaved her daughter's head to make it look like her hair had fallen out from chemo, and then went to the newspapers. I forget how many thousands of dollars she got from the public, but when caught, she was sentenced to prison for fraud and child abuse. These people are amongst the most cunning because they seem to know exactly what strings to pull in order to get the most sympathy. Oddly enough, even when it becomes clear that they're nothing more than con-artists, some people who support them refuse to believe that they've been duped and continue on with their support. One of this woman's staunchest supporters was a woman who had sent her over $1,000 for her daughter's 'care', and who continued to support her even after the woman admitted what she had done.
Like those mentioned above, alot of people lie in business or politics or religion for power, prestige and control. The WTS fits this description to a T. They hide the truth, distort facts and attempt to destroy anyone who can expose their lies. What's scary about these kinds of liars is that they quite often have an enormous amount of weath and power already and fighting them can be next to impossible even though it's obvious what they truly are.
Then there is George Dubya Bush and Dick Cheney. No further explanation is needed.
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R.Crusoe
And what is demoralising is knowing how when you have been at the sharp end of their treatment, you are a chenged individual who's goodwill has been exploited and far less able to continue being the 'goodwill' person that lies at your core - which is another aftermath of exJW land as well!
Its the goodwill that it prevents you from sharing and building a life with that is the poison chalice they hand you!
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Crumpet
What interesting posts - thank you guys. No one has lied to me personally that elicited a thread, it was more a curiosity factor and that it seems they are more than a handful of people who create images of themseves on her that bear no resmblance to the reality. The knock on effect of that for me is that I dont really want to engage with anyone new on here anymore, just maintiain the circle that I have - and a wonderful buch you are too. I honestly couldnt wish for a better family. The ones who make stories up here - I just feel sorry for because they are missing out on so much.
Abandoned - just to clarify I have bi polar not borderline personality (although maybe I'll have that next year) and yes I know its not right to be in a state of ecstasy 85% of the time and raging mad an angry 15 of time. It doesnt conform to the norm. I am taking mood stabilisers which work for the most part and I have put myself in isolation from other human beings by never leaving the house except when I have to go to the doctors which is once a month. For the most part is works. Sometimes I do miss the human contact part though.
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wanderlustguy
Everyone lies to varying degrees at different times for differente reasons, so in this case you have to be more specific. If a kid asks if Santa is coming...are you gonna tell him/her the truth? Shatter the hope of a big eyed little girl the night before Christmas? If your girl asks you if these pants make her ass look fat...are you going to say "no...but your ass does"?
Then we have people who say things about themselves that aren't true for a ton of reasons, from pride to low self esteem (they want to be seen differently) to simple disillusionment where the lie is actually true to the person.
Beyond that we can experience malice where someone intends to deceive and the most dangerous of which can convince themselves the lie is true, and then all the signs of a liar disappear for the observer. The amount of time it takes to figure it out depends on the intellectual abilities of the person, in some cases the person can run out so far ahead and imagine so much detail (and retain it) that you'll never really know.
My take when I just woke up and can still barely see the screen.
WLG
Louisiana has it's good points...I miss the food.
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ex-nj-jw
it seems they are more than a handful of people who create images of themseves on her that bear no resmblance to the reality. The knock on effect of that for me is that I dont really want to engage with anyone new on here anymore, just maintiain the circle that I have - and a wonderful buch you are too. I honestly couldnt wish for a better family. The ones who make stories up here - I just feel sorry for because they are missing out on so much.
Hey crumpet - I couldn't agree more! I don't post here very often anymore. Some things I read and say "yeah right".
Glad to see you around, I miss your threads!
nj
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R.Crusoe
I can see how some women might want to lie as in when soldiers were coming knockin on their doors looking for anyone in the age range of baby Jesus - but not when they tell a guy it's his kid just to steal his love and his goodwill and his earnings for years as well as his life! But in that respect JWs do just that believing their own hype so I think some believe they have good cause to get someone else doing all the dirty work for them so they can feel beeter and add cream when the cake arrives - if you catch my drift.
I don't know anyone on here well enough to understand what this hype is about but the territory is universal.
I think the worst castles of lies are ones set up to have a negative impact on a vulnerable individual by ones who like control and a fat circle of friends to keep happy and up to date with any news. And the other type are the ones who pretend to be your friend until in the prescence of some 'higher earner' who sees you as a threat and then side step. The subliminal lies that earn your friendship under false pretenses are the smelliest!!
Anyone who was my friend - I would tell them to piss of and I don't want to see them any more if they were on my ship and I new it was about to sink!!
They'd walk off probly thinkin I deserved it but I'd die knowing it was no use both of us going down!!
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Mincan
Whoa. That's fascinating. Can you elaborate on why it's called "splitting"?
Because people or ideas are either categorised as "all good" or "all bad" and it can switch instantly. Splitting is another coping mechanism.
Mincan, sorry if I offended you.
Not at all, the statements are true about people that effected you in your life. I am just trying to make sure that you don't believe all people with BPD act towards people the same. Then again, I haven't had much experience with lots of people so I don't know really how I'll behave until I do.
I don't know what the law is like in Canada, but here you are not required to tell the cops a damn thing.
Same here, that's why I said "not going to happen" it was just an example.
Are there any meds that can help?
Sometimes if the borderline psychotic episodes are long enough or debilitating enough, they can be put on anti-psychotics. However, most Borderlines do not actually have clinical episodes of psychosis, it's more a transient and benign form of thought patterns. The term borderline itself was coined in the 30s because at the time it was considered a borderline condition between neurosis and psychosis. However, most people with the disorder and those treating it have discussed changing the title to something more accurate, such as the most common recipient - Emotional Dysregulation Disorder. Since Borderline have extremely rapid cycling mood swings, that can last seconds, minutes, hours, and no more than a few days (this is also true in ADHD ) and feel as though they have no control over their emotions and their emotions control their lives, not them.
Medication is usually prescribed to treat either symptomology or cormorbid diagnoses, such as depression, anxiety, etc.
My psychiatrist has been trying me on anti-depressants mainly to treat my anxiety, but they either cause more for me or have side effects I cannot handle. My depression is most likely dopamine based, not seratonin, since I have ADHD, and certain stimulants are effective anti-depressants for those that have ADHD. The amphetamine class of stimulants approved for treatment of ADHD include Methylphenidate (Ritalin, the most "Down to business" in terms of effect and side effects!), dextroamphetamine (the most cognitive, and least somatic), d,l, amphetamine (Adderall, the most side effect and mood effecting (half and half as far as positive is concerned)), and methamphetamine (Desoxyn, the most effective with least rebound and comedown effects, least somatic side effects, heavily stigmatised unfortunately).
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delilah
The knock on effect of that for me is that I dont really want to engage with anyone new on here anymore, just maintiain the circle that I have -
Hey Crumpet...good to see you hon. This is exactly how I feel too.
As selfish as this sounds, I just don't want to spend my energy or time trying to understand or deal with, people who lie.
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Crumpet
You all know how to make a gal feel welcome don't you!! I am rather touched as in moved not as in emotionally disturbed.
Mincan the information you've provided on BPD is really interesting - especially about the cycling. I'm currently on a drug for epilepsy which acts as a mood stabiliser and I have to say its working really well. Initially they were using it to complement a vat of anti-d's but they finally agreed I don't need that. I just need to have the my brain chemistry balanced out. So instead of cycles of 3 or 4 days its now 3 or 4 weeks which is much more predictable and handleable. Hopefully I can pay attention to the signs and minimise the collateral damage.