Yesterday my father informed me that he will shun me...

by nvrgnbk 83 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  nvrgnbk

  IMO, the best revenge per say, is when he is old and needs someone to wipe his, umm yeah you get the picture...show him that unconditional love does exist, that you will be there, even when he was not. A late lesson in life, yes, but one that may bring you both more closure and comfort than you know. To walk away from him at his time of need, is proving his point, that unconditional love isn't real. But to give him the help and love he needs then, proves IT DOES.

  Very wise words.

  You're a good friend, sweetstuff.

  Looking-glass,

  What does one say to a post like that?

  LOL!
• 

  BFD

  Looking-glass,

  What does one say to a post like that?

  LOL!

  Pictures, please....

  BFD
• 

  snowbird

  Nate,

  You know how you have grown on me.

  True love sets no conditions. It simply accepts. It also hopes.

  My hat's off to you and your courage.

  Sylvia
• 

  Eyes Open

  Nate,
  
  ...what to say. Sorry.
  
  Obviously I don't know the specifics, but I've been thinking about this type of situation. It hasn't happened to me, and I'm hoping it won't. I guess the only way of truely defeating this type of ignorance is to show love to those who threaten to/do shun. They've been horribly misled, and are trapped. Easy enough to say, of course - just where my thinking's led me.
  
  Whatever happens, and whatever you decide on doing, all the best.
• 

  nvrgnbk

  To those saying to show kindness in the face of ignorance, you're right.

  Knowing myself, I will.

  The idea of retribution or vengeance is just the little bit of residual Jehovism left in me.
• 

  restrangled

  Don't count your chickens so fast NVR......I don't know how old your father is but believe me, these self righteous parents change their tune quickly the minute they stub a big toe and have no one to help them.

  In the mean time, the situation does give you a new perspective on the relationship and frees you from making excuses and trying to keep them happy as you stated.

  Take care!

  r.
• 

  changeling

  Unconditional love is a lie.

  My parents have never uttered these words but I'm sure they would agree. Welcome to the club.

  changeling

  Oh, and I'll hug you whenever I want to: ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((nvr)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
• 

  Mary

  Unconditional love is a lie.

  Well actually hon, from his point of view, the above statement is true. Witnesses do NOT have "unconditional love" for anyone or anything except Big Brother. Your family, life long friends, your kids, parents, siblings or grandparents are only entitled to 'conditional love' and that love is completely dependent on their own loyalty to the religion. Pretty sick eh?

  One of my best friends went through what you're going through about a year and a half ago. I did a post about it: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/123921/1.ashx

  Nvr, it's really sad that your dad feels like this, but it's not surprising. This is what he's been trained to believe. Still, I sometimes find it hard to believe that anyone can cut their kids off like that. Truly the markings of a sick, sick, cult.
• 

  Yesterdays Child

  I i know how you feel. I've been out for 30 years and one day i come home from work and this is the letter i get.

  Throughout the years after having come to know you through your marriage to my daughter you have been a very kind and thoughtful person, sometimes more than my son. I don't think that any mil could want a finer son than you. However , it is very unfortunate that i will have to change the way i relate to you in the future. As you are very well aware my loyalty to Jehovah is very important to me and comes before anything and anyone.

  If i am in your home to see my grandchildren and daughter i will certainly give you respect. But i will not be able to socialize with you nor eat with you again. Your co-operation in this will certainly be appreciated. And if youwould rather that i not come to your home i will certainly understand that also and will comply accordingly in witch case they can come see me. So once again i want to say thank you very much for all the concern you have shown me in the past and maybe one day we will be able to communicate openly and without reservation, for you did become a son to me. With love your mom in law.

  She has not been in my home since she wrote this 9/14/2002
• 

  R.Crusoe

  I understand the gravity of all this stuff but the idea about when someone is older and needing after dinner care as a way of revenge goes over my head!

  If love hurts then wants revenge it was never love in the first place - but maybe some of us go the whole life journey with a massively different take on love! In fact I truly believe that after all the variety of feeling and reaction I come across!

  Some personality types do love revenge! Personally its legalised crime in my eyes!