by reneeisorym 61 Replies latest jw friends
The conversation went like this:
He said after we were done with the business, "Is that a picture of your man?"
I said, "Yes, we just got married this summer."
He said, "How are you two doing?"
I think he already crossed the line. He shouldn't be asking about your personal life.
If an official report is being made on Monday, be professional and don't downplay it. He will certainly try to downplay it.
Ask for a copy of the report if you can just in case your company sides with him.
Frankiespeakin wrote: "God, hows a guy supposed hit on women if they all go running up to some authority figure, wanting them to silence someone for some precieved flirtatious faux pah........What MC said: 'First of all, the poster is a newly married woman with a baby.' I'm sure you know that this being the case, that you would have this natural "glow" about you that men might very attractive, and make them say dumb things that they latter regret."
Secondly, you blame the woman for having a "natural glow" as the reason for men saying stupid things. If you're going to say something to any woman, at least be man enough to take responsibility for what you say.
Par,
First of all, the term "hit on women" is an obnoxious term.
It's the little boy in me that likes to use obnoxious terms, adds more flavor, and gives people a chance to harp on it a little, so I concider this very harmless, and beg you forgiveness if it ruffed you feathers a little my little chick-a-dee. pin feathers and all friend.. I love parakeets.
Secondly, you blame the woman for having a "natural glow" as the reason for men saying stupid things. If you're going to say something to any woman, at least be man enough to take responsibility for what you say.
I'm not blaming her, if anything I'm giving her a complement, and something that she probably already knows is true. I was offering another possible point of view in the situtation one that might not be that be all that sinister in motivation.
And as far as responciblity goes if I said something very wrong I'm willing to be corrected(I think?).
frankiespeakin wrote: "beg you forgiveness if it ruffed you feathers a little my little chick-a-dee. pin feathers and all friend.. I love parakeets."
You're a charmer, frankie. I almost can forgive the rest of what you say. :-)
R Caruso I have only read a few of your comments on a couple of threads but I see that you are very worried that the male of the species will get blamed for something. I'm sorry for whatever happened to you to make you feel that way. I'm not sure what there was about this thread that made you think anyone was man bashing.
Sexual harassment is against the law if a man is responsible- and it is against the law if a woman is responsible. I have seen both types of cases, and in both cases it was pursued with equal ferver by management and human resources in order to protect the stockholders. I say that because that is their first interest in my experience. Some do, truly, have an interest in sparing people having this painful experience, but if they are in HR their primary function is to protect the company, protecting the employees is secondary.
I have worked in jobs where there was a lot more lattitude for kidding around and flirting. Mostly those jobs were when I supported more blue-collar types. And, since I don't get offended easily, and because I can tell someone when they cross the line, I only ever had one case where I was put in an uncomfortable situation when one of the guys bordered on stalking me though he knew I wasn't single.
In other jobs where it is predominately white collar, people seem to be a lot more sensitive to this. And they don't mind turning in someone that offends them. But my experience is only in the Pacific Northwest. Other places may and probably are, different. In terms of what people can "get away with."
In any case, the remark made by the man in this particular situation would have crossed the line. I would have told him that in no uncertain words. But that is just me. Not every woman is comfortable telling a man to bugger off. So it is not out of line for that woman to tell her supervisor so that they can take care of it. That is not being PC.
Well didn't that turn into a sermon. Sorry, but this is something of which I have some experience, not to mention just having been to our company's sexual harassment training.
Sherry
frankiespeakin,
It's the little boy in me that likes to use obnoxious terms,
Do you bring him to work?
gently feral
I guess it all falls on whether there was intent or not. People from small towns and particularly the south make alot of conversation. There is no way really knowing unless you can see their facial expression.
For me, that expression means arguing and such, and I wouldnt necessarily take it to mean sex.
In my case I would have made him clarify it, just to be on the safe side, something like "excuse me, what do you mean?"
If it were sexual in nature I would definitely tell him to mind his own business.
GF,
Do you bring him to work?
Everyday saturdays&sundays included. I have my own business.
I have many times been in a situation where I was well within my rights to take things further and put someone down! Maybe I should have had your attitude - your personality. I sure as hell would never have got married or worked my butt off for mother or done a whole lotta other things for folks and towed the line! That instant reaction to anyone in your personal space !!
It occurred to me that maybe this young lady in a happy new marriage and with her whole life ahead brushed this off as a possible aberation then a whole lot of trouble could have been avoided! Maybe this guy had a bad day!
I agree that last comment was a sucker thing to say and one wonders why he would! Sounds like a 'he wishes' type of thing. I know some women who would just say, 'Huh you cheeky sod, what's on your mind, girlfriend trouble?'
But he is gonna get more worries for a coupla words whilst the whole world turns!
I'd say it's a tricky situation as to which way to go dependent upon the two personalities involved! But legality is like a WT guidebook over many things beyond the comprehension of past generations. Like everything needs written documentation for every pitiful misdemeanour! I know the authorities spend more money on paper chasers than anyone can imagine.
Anyhow it just seemed like a small problem to which maybe suspicion was attached and now it's official!
Each to their own. I know the women I grew up with would tell each other when a pin dropped and call the males sissy if they cried out over anything. I definitely know there are massive gender differences which many wont acknowledge as long as things are running smoothly for them! Tricky juggling acts await us all!
I guess as most have said i might have gotten clarification on the word "ride' but you were there and if it felt suggestive-it was. He sounds like he was hoping to see if you have a good relationship ( with new hubby) and if you did not maybe he had a chance. That would be my most positive interpretation. He needs to clean up his speech. that kind of talk is not appropriate. We all have people we are close to that we allow more freedom of speech. he is a total stranger. That is just creepy. In some cases he could have gotten his face slapped. And sounds like he would have deserved it.
