Please give me a laugh
by mouthy 49 Replies latest jw friends
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Abandoned
A Catholic, a Lutheran, and a Jehovah's witness all die and go to heaven. St. Peter calls them to him and welcomes them to their eternal abode. Addressing the Catholic, he says, "You didn't help out a lot of people but you were very faithful about attending Mass so I'm giving you that house over there." He points at a three-story Victorian mansion with a gorgeous swimming pool and a large yard.
The Catholic says, "Praise Mary, mother of God, I'm going to throw a party."
St. Peter then addresses the Lutheran. "Well, you weren't very good at attending church but you spent a great deal of your time helping out those in need so I'm going to let you live over there." He points at another three-story Victorian mansion with a beautifully manicured hedge encircling the spacious yard.
The Lutheran jumps up and down and says, "Praise Jesus, I'm going to throw a party."
Finally St. Peter looks at the Jehovah's witness and says. "You didn't believe that Jesus was God, you didn't take part in charity, and it seems like you spent most of your time alienating you and your family from your fellow humans. As such, I'm giving you that." St. Peter points to a large printery with smokestacks and a huge shipping yard.
The Jehovah's witness looks a little bewildered. "A publishing house. I'm supposed to live in a publishing house?"
St. Peter nods and says, "Yeah, and you better hurry along, it looks like some of your neigbors are going to need some invitations."
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JAVA
A policeman walks up to a guy standing at a downtown street corner and says, "Are you a Jehovah Witness?" The man says, "No, I didn't even see the accident."
What happens if you clone a Jehovah Witness and a Unitarian? Someone who knocks on doors and they don't know why. -
RAYZORBLADE
Q: Why did Beethoven dislike chickens?
A: Because, they always said: "Bach, Bach, Bach, Bach!!"
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sweetface2233
I once fell down the stairs in a movie theater and landed on the cotton candy I bought at the concession stand. When I stood up, I looked down and saw that my snack was not the fluffy, sugary treat I was anticipating. It was now as flat as a pianter's palate. But, I ate it anyway.
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cognac
mouthy ~
Did you see this thread? On funny things you thought growing up. some of them I almost pee'd myself laughing about...
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Mary
Mouthy said: Is there anyone on board who can make me laugh...Even smile I would appreciate it.No filthy jokes or filthy language if you please .
Oh geeze Grace----How am I supposed to make you laugh then?!
OK, this is one of the funniest video's I've seen on youtube. It's Will Ferrell imitating George Bush and the topic is: Global Warming: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5r6TqpOQGc
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Mary
Here's another one Grace: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dq7agmFWkq0
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mouthy
O.K. O.K. I am laughing they are ALL very funny. You can lock the thread now... You all did your job.
Thanks a Million......