Dating a JW and how to get her off the cult or becoming a member myself (page 2)

serotonin_wraith

I hope your instincts are right and she's the one for you. By their rules, she shouldn't have started anything with you. So if she's able to do that, she may be able to do more. I think, if she's open, people here can 'deconvert' her, directly or through you. I've managed to deconvert two people from that religion, but it really only works if someone is open to new ideas.

svennibenni

please forgive me but it is now almost 2am and I have to go to bed. I will answer all posts tommorrow.

@sweetface maybe we can talk later as I am very interested in your opinion. I like what you wrote and maybe you can also explain to me the way of "JW girls" better than a man could do

svennibenni

Hi Serotonin,

thanks for your reply first. As she already told me and for the ways and matter what she tells me she has NEVER told anyone only half as much about her feelings as she told me. I can feel that and I have the weird impression that if anyone can save her it maybe ME. So I also have a big responsibility for her as well. I dont want to mess it up - it is too important for HER (and later on I hope for us)

She even told me that she never had so honest / fair minded / straight forward talks even with herself !! I think that tells a lot !!!!

OnTheWayOut

If you are bound and determined to join the mind-control cult just for her, go ahead.
We can't stop you with intelligent reason because you are emotionally involved.

How is she willing to follow wherever you lead her if you must become a JW follower?

Anyway, if you aren't a JW, at least when this whole mess clears up years from now
with you devastated by WT and maybe without the love of your life, but maybe "with" her,
your family (parents/siblings/cousins/whatever) will not have to shun you. Maybe they
will help pay for your therapy.

Plus, when her guilt gets to her and she doesn't get with you after you become a JW,
there will be plenty of JW sisters chasing you because good brothers are in short supply.
Maybe you can help some other ideal mate to get out.

svennibenni

Of yourse I dont want to join it, the question is what is the best way of getting her off this drug ? If I confronted her at once she would shut down and there would be no possibility anymore to help her.

BUT she is so deeply in love (I had to make it short in my startup message to explain everything) that she WILL follow me to any country I choose to live the life we have so often talked about.

And if it all fails - where is the problem for me (except for the lost love) I still have my work and my friends and so on. I will never - and I told her that already - give my money to some organisation and live poorly. I told her that I will be in charge of the family / her first. And not make JW my fist concern. I can see someone living with religion but the company behind it (and that counts for the catholic church as well) is a completely other thing ! I asked her if she will trust in the bible or in the company and she told me it is "only" the faith she is after. I cannot tell how true this is at the moment. What I need to know as well if there is any other "risc" I have to fear ??

Nice point, I love this kinda agressive attitude of yours - I'm sure you have your reasons and would love to have more comments from your side ;-)

carla

Yes, if you want to have a group of ungodly men control what you can watch, read, wear, facial hair, intimate sex life even in marriage, who you may associate with, possibly even your employment, no holidays, go to 5 meetings a week, cut off family, tell you how to raise your children, tell you your children cannot join any extra cirricular activities, neglect your children to 'do more' for the the wt, your medical care, games you can play, music, etc...etc...etc...etc... by all means join to get the girl who will never be truly happy with you until you move up the societies ladder and become an elder or higher.

svennibenni

Hi Carla,

thanks for your reply as well.

I will and she does read lotsa things, we watch all sorts of movies thru internet together, i do wear a beard (if it this what you mean) she works in the same company as I do and this is not a religious one. we are planning holidays for the future, well she attends 3 meetings a week... I play every game I like ( what games are considered to be bad ?) I need more input. They cannot control my mind and not what I am doing I think.... is this wrong am I too much in good faith ?

and what do you mean by not happy until I'm an elder....

Rapunzel

Dear Svenni: When Sweetface said that this girl had already "done you a favor," I believe that she was referring to the the Jehovah's Witness woman's decision to end the relationship with you. She's doing you a favor by ending the relationship now, instead of waiting to do it at a moment later in the future when it will only be more painful and heart-breaking. There is a an all-important and crucial fact that people who are not Jehovah's Witnesses find very difficult to understand. The fact in question is this: It almost impossible for a Jehovah's Witness to maintain a romantic relationship with someone who is not a Witness. Jehovah's Witnesses are most strictly warned against becoming "unevenly yoked" with someone who is not a witness. For them, any inter-faith marriage or relationship is totally out of the question. The sad truth is that you are almost certainly preparing yourself for a great deal of emotional pain and heartbreak if you pursue a relationshipwith this woman. To state the issue simply, Jehovah's Witnesses are not like other religions. Their group is a manipulative, all-controlling cult. In many ways, it is a destructive and dangerous sect. They are very exclusive, that is to say that they believe that they alone have "the truth," and that everyone else is under the control of Satan. And while other religions may view inter-faith marriages in a negative light and advise against such marriages, for Jehovah's Witnesses, such marriages are absolutely forbidden.

In order to marry this woman, you would have to sincerely and totally change the way that you think. Are you you prepared to do that? Would you ever even want to do that? For Jehovah's Witnesses, there is no "middle ground." You are either with them on their side, or against them on the side of Satan. So you see, as painful as it is to admit, this woman has indeed already done you a favor by stating her desire to end the relationship.

Chalam

Hi,
True love is not easy to find but to get yourself out of being a JW could be much harder.

I would tell you not to become a JW because your life depends on it. They will suck the life out of you with their rules and regulations, their fear and bully boy tactics.

My belief is that you will not find one drop of spiritual life with them either, only death.

The Bible says this

John 10:10 (New International Version)
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

But "Jehovah's Witnesses" prefer to talk about Jehovah, not Jesus

All the best,
Stephen

Layla33

My advice?

Run, as fast as you can and don't look back.

Dating a JW and how to get her off the cult or becoming a member myself

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