Did you think your life was over as you knew it? Were you sure?

by oompa 36 Replies latest jw friends

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  oompa

  I knew, and I am beginning to think I was right. Several shrinks and therapists later, and I realize that my entire life structure is not only gone, but it was a farce in the first place. How do you cope with that? 40 some years and you dont have any real friends? they almost all shun you? and technically you are still a brother? how can families or marriages work when some are so entrenched?......oompa............I knew I should just go far, far away, as I could not be the husband and parent I used to be...

  and yes I am talking about really waking up
• 

  JK666

  Oomp,

  I had to reinvent myself. I could not go on self-medicating because it stopped working for me. As for the relationships, I am glad that I had a chance to "thin the herd' of my so-called friends, and now I have some that will be with me no matter what.

  By the way, You have a friend in Indiana.

  JK
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  AWAKE&WATCHING

  ((((oompa))))

  I knew instantly that my life would never be the same and my marriage was over. It was both terrifying and a relief.
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  dawg

  Ommp, I'm glad as hell those idiots are out of my life, glad I don't have to go out in service any longer...I hope you are too,... I've read you here the last few months and don't get hurt at me saying this, but what the hell's wrong with you bro?... you should be happy as hell you aren't part of that shit hole any longer. SO what if part of your life is fucked...this part isn't... make love, go to the beach, smoke a joint, drink some wine... do all of it and never give a dman who the hell's watching, not have to worry about some god damned JW running to the elders becasue they saw you do it, like some damn kid running to daddy.... man, I hope you're as freaking happy as I am...

  I'm so damn happy right now I could run down the road naked and screaming, I'll do it and post it on u tube if it'll get you out of the funk you;re in... you think maybe you're just having a hard time because you haven't been out that long? I can't know your mind, but damn man, have some freaking fun! You're no longer a god damned slave to a group of absolute freaking complete idiots....

  Sorry monitors, I just felt I needed to say that to the ole OOMP.
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  oompa

  I so hate this fake life I am in....all I can do now is be quiet around family and friends....or be even more shunned.....Has anyone just gone far away and started over? I am thinking Costa Rico....I probably have enough money to retire there.....I so don't want to hurt my wife or parents anymore, and yet my kids are only 20 and 22 and should be able to have a more normal marriage, life, etc.....this sucks............oompa
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  AWAKE&WATCHING

  I've been in a funk all day..........I don't know how I could get out of it ................hmmmmmm...........

  I'm so damn happy right now I could run down the road naked and screaming, I'll do it and post it on u tube if it'll get you out of the funk you;re in...

  That might work!

  Dawg - don't forget to post that link.
• 

  VoidEater

  My last post for today...

  How do you cope with that?

  I breathe. I feel my existance. I say to myself, "There is nothing wrong, with me or this moment." I look to see if anything must be attended to right now, at this moment. I take a long, hot bath. I listen to the profound quiet inside, and know that it is peace.

  40 some years and you dont have any real friends? they almost all shun you?

  I am lucky. I had one. And after a time I got more.

  and technically you are still a brother?

  There are so many definitions of "brother". But "brother" can be such a tenuous label. I know what and who I am related to by what I feel inside, and how I see others and the outside world relating to me. Some run away - some come to me. We are all healed in the calm of a quiet mind.

  how can families or marriages work when some are so entrenched?

  Sometimes they can, and sometimes they don't. When everything is scraped away, we have an opportunity to create something new. Or we can stand by and see what grows. It is usually best to participate to the extent you can, accept peace where you find it, give compassion where it isn't.

  (((oompa)))
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  LearningToFly

  Yes, I knew it when I left, but the emotional fallout lasted years. That is what those raised within a cult feel. It takes hard work.. pain.. and regaining one's own inner self too finally let it go. It is alot of hard personal work to get there, and I am not totally there yet, but I am getting there.

  For me it has come in stages.. many painful stages. After being controlled mentally, emotionally, spiritually and even physically for so long within this cult, it takes a strong personal inner drive to move forward to rid oneself of all the controlling messages that sit deep within our souls still controlling us as individuals.

  I wish for all who struggle to find that warrior spirit within them to fight it! Fight the messages that were indococtrinated into you. That is the only way out.

  For those struggling.. take a look at yourself. Realize, you are a good person. Forget the messages taught.

  For me.. I had to come to a realization.. I am a good person.. and if some creator/higher power doesnt see it.. then ok.. fine.. I will still live for me as best as I can. Being the best I can be. Who can expect more than that?

  LTF
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  Sparkplug

  OOMPA~ Yes and it is. but changes can be good. Exciting and new. Embrace the change and breath as best you can till you get the knack of it.
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  oompa

  Really appreciate all the quick posts, but Dawg you rule! You can run naked all the way to NC, but what you may not have a grip on is that I love my wife and son, and they are really, really, good JW's and so are my parents.....It is hard to even think of letting go of that much close personal attachments and starting over.....they are all really SUPER GOOD PEOPLE and so are about 10 of my JW friends. I so miss them, and miss going to the beach, the lake, camping with them...............oompa