Did you think your life was over as you knew it? Were you sure?

by oompa 36 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  dawg

  Awake, I hope you have a maginfying glass, its cold as hell here tonight.....

  Oompa, every man in his life must make a stand, must do what's right...in his own way... I no longer question what others do in reguards to this damned old religion, I used too, but Challenging showed me I was wrong.. but the misery you feel is becasue this is your life and you feel as if you can't live it as you see fit, too many people will look dwon on you for doing it...

  As I've said many times on this forum before, never do as I say do, I don't know shit, but to me, and that's just me, you are never the freaking hell going to be happy until you are allowed to be Oompa... and what the hell's stopping you? So what the freak if a few dumbassed people don't like what you do? Are you going to live the rest of your life to please a bunch of idiots? And do you impose your beliefs on them, tell them they must live as you see fit? What misery your so called "friends" and even family are bringing on you.

  Sure, standing your ground will casue you some mysery, when you're born the doctor slaps your ass and you scream, all births and re-births casue pain, but what's worse, the cancer eating your soul now or a good slap on the ass which leads to freedom? I know for me which course was correct, and now many are following me...

  As I said previously, never do what I say to do... I don't know shit about you, I jsut know what I did worked for me.
• 

  Layla33

  I cope because my attitude is one of hope. It is like I am given the chance to do it all again, start from scratch, the world is my canvas and I hold the paintbrush. It is my belief that I am capable of reinventing myself, my life, my circle of friends again until I get it right, that causes me to look at each turn of events as a step closer to defining myself, to reaching nirvana.

  I want to share a story, one that friends have heard many times and one that I first discussed in an introductory psych course. We were defining the very first time we realized our humanity and I remember it quite well:

  I was maybe four or five and I was trying to go to sleep. I was staring at the door, staring at the door and finally, it hit me "I" was staring at the door. It was epiphanic. I felt it all in the one second. The complete fragility of my body, the fact that as I am living, there is one day that I will not be living and as "I" was staring at that door, I felt the heaviness of responsibility for this body that I was in - to absolutely protect it, nuture it, give it the very best life that it could. I shall never forget that moment.

  And maybe that says something about myself, as I am very much my "protector". I believe the shakespeare quote where he says that "All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts..."

  For me leaving the religion, walking away from everything I knew, to a world that I believed in, a world defined by me, while scary, was about reinventing myself to a life that was pure as who I am, as anything. Would I give up because it became hard? Would I lay in bed because there were times I was alone? Absolutely not. I felt redeemed that I had the courage to confront false living in my life and dare to think different and that is why I never allowed such decisions to make me give up believing in my happiness.

  It's all about how you view it and it's all about how you view every situation that comes your way...
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  I so hate this fake life I am in....all I can do now is be quiet around family and friends....or be even more shunned.....Has anyone just gone far away and started over? I am thinking Costa Rico....I probably have enough money to retire there.....I so don't want to hurt my wife or parents anymore, and yet my kids are only 20 and 22 and should be able to have a more normal marriage, life, etc.....this sucks............oompa

  I hate to try to talk you into staying with your wife if you are just miserable.
  But does she want to be without you, or are you just thinking that leaving her hurts her
  less than staying with her? I would assume that leaving her would hurt more.

  As for the rest of your family, try to spend less time with the ones that don't allow you to
  be yourself, or go ahead and be yourself if you have to. If you got DF'ed for being Oompa,
  how is that any worse than running to Costa Rico? You could always try to be yourself and
  speak your mind, then escape later. (Not that I am advocating running away, just that it's
  your plan).

  How about staying around for your adult children? They need to learn the truth about "the truth."
  Even if they don't actively listen to contrary evidence, you will have some impact on their lives
  and maybe you can break the vicious cycle for the descendents of Oompa. Maybe your
  grandchildren or their children won't be JW's. Maybe your own children will leave it behind.

  I ain't your shrink. My free advice is worth what you paid for it. If you think you can be happy
  somewhere else, just make sure you aren't running away because you are depressed and think
  everyone is better off without you. Deep down, you know that isn't true. Running away like that
  will put you at the bottom of the bottle and dead inside of a couple of years. Besides, I would
  miss your posts. Isn't that enough reason to stick around?
• 

  Anti-Christ

  I don't think your life is over it is just starting I know it might sound cliché but it's true. There are a lot of people out there that can be a real friend, it could take a log time to find one but there are out there you just have to look in the right places.

  I much rather be alone and be myself then be surrounded by people who are fake and live a lie. I know it's not easy but your family will get use to the real you and if they don't, well it's there choices not yours, you are not the one shunning them but theme shunning you, remember it's a bunch of silly laws of a bunch of old men that don't know anything about you or the rest of the slaves of the WT all they care about is the power they have and that power is all fake because if all of the JWs would wake up the GB would not have any real power on any body.

  Just be yourself dude, I know it won't be easy but it's worth it trust me.
• 

  dawg

  As I said, I don't know squat, 10 year old son...damn! That throws in a huge monkey wrench into the proceedings...what does you wife know about your feelings? Are you sure you'd lose them in the process if you made a stand?
• 

  oompa

  Layla---I am sorry but do not feel that you really know anything major at 4 or 5 years old. Did you mean 4 or 5 years old? I could not even remember trying to not piss the bed at that age...........................................oompa.......you may be special.....seriously
• 

  dawg

  read my post above this one
• 

  oompa

  Dawg, you are drinking!!!! I said 20 and 22 year old sons and only 10 freinds!!!!!!!!!!!.............oompa
• 

  jaguarbass

  How do you cope with that? 40 some years and you dont have any real friends?

  Your ahead of all the ones living the delusion. They dont have any real friends either.

  Time heals. During my first ten years out of the tower, I went to AA. I worked the program and said to myself I was a recovering JW. It worked for me.

  Also read some good self help books. I would recommend "your erroneous zones" by Dr. Wayne Dyer. You can probably find it as a used paper back for a dolllar.
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  Here was your comment on another thread:

  Joy Or Sorrow When You First Found Out It Was False?
  
  crushed to the bitter core.........40+ years of brainwashing is hard to overcome.......I now have no real hope for the future, and at least I had that...........I feel lost.........even those awful Christendom faiths, and pagans have hope for life after death....I have nothing, and am left with a miserable life with JW family at this point................................................................oompa

  Just because misery loves company, here's my answer.

  I, too was crushed to the bitter core. I am still bitter. I feel lost. I am shipwrecked in my faith.
  If there is misery, there is also joy. The joy might be somewhere else. It's tough to lose your
  friends, even worse for family to shun you. But I can start new friendships. As far as family
  goes, I make it my personal goal to help them (I only want to help my wife and mother) to be
  freed from the mind prison. If that's a life work, then I have lots to do.

  Until my wife turns me in to the elders, I will keep working on her. I know your wife already did
  turn you in, so it is difficult to stay with her, but are you mad at her? Do you see red when you
  think of what she did? Are you ready to hurt her more by being "outta there" ?

  I can't say what I would do in your situation. The Costa Rico thing doesn't sound terrible. I am
  just concerned that your reasoning isn't faulty. You think they would be better off without you and
  you miss your friends. I personally don't think the friends can ever be regained, but I know your
  family isn't better off without you.