Did you think your life was over as you knew it? Were you sure?

by oompa 36 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  OnTheWayOut

  OTWO: I know your wife already did
  turn you in, so it is difficult to stay with her, but are you mad at her? Do you see red when you
  think of what she did?

  It is funny but I am not mad at her or my dad at all....they did just like they were conditioned to in order keep the ol concience clean....oompa

  Therapy must really work. I agree with that statement, but I don't know that I could make it
  if it were to happen to me. It's wonderful of you to recognize that.

  So you have a loving, caring wife. You can stay for her sake, or you can find yourself at
  the bottom of that bottle on a beach in Costa Rico. You would be miserable there, too.
  I recommend staying for the wife. If you can't be quiet about your beliefs, then be yourself
  and watch the friends and family drop away. I bet your wife doesn't. Then make new friends.
  You may, one day, free the wife from her loyalty to the Borg.

  (I know I am just recycling what's already been said, but your topic is just recycling what you
  have already said.)
• 

  dinah

  Hey Oompa,

  All your life experience is what makes you who you are. Sometimes big changes come along, and no, you are never the same afterward. I'm talking about all the curves life throws at you, not just losing your religion.

  I'm not the same person I was when I was 18 and got df'd. I'm not even the same person I was at 25 when I got out of a severely abusive marriage. Both of those events altered my life in a way that it will never be the same. Things were never the same after the birth of my children (of course that event changed things for the positive!)

  In my rambling way, I'm just trying to tell you that changes come. It's just the one you are facing right now affects every facet of your life. This is the one change that is toughest. It took me 34 years to figure out that what I had been taught from birth was a load of bull. Those of us who were born in have it harder, imho, because we have nothing to go back to when we leave. We have to get out there and find ourselves, and try and make sense of it all.

  You can't un-ring a bell. You know what you know. Things have changed. But let me ask you, have the changes made your life better or worse? You don't have to go in field service, attend meetings, put on a fake face in front of the congregation to appear theocratic. You can just be oompa. Of course your personal relationships are strained. The WT likes it that way. They want to you to be afraid of losing your friends, it's how they maintain control over the flock.

  It appears I have almost written a book. You got some good advice on this thread. To thine own self be true. Discover yourself, you won't be exactly the same, but you may just like who you find lurking under that WT personality.
• 

  NYer Girl

  Hey Oompa: I'm totally with you on this thread. It's funny because Dawg's initial post could have been written by my brother, and your post by me. My brother runs around doing whatever he wants and I'm trapped by my guilt. Guilt over what? Who knows? I'm glad to be out but I have my days when I wonder, just a little bit, if I've made a mistake. Every day has its ups and downs. Just know that you're not alone.
• 

  Alex Delta

  Hey oompa you've got a friend here in Illinois too and I'm sure most on this forum as well.
• 

  oompa

  NYGIRL: Guilt over what? Who knows? I'm glad to be out but I have my days when I wonder, just a little bit, if I've made a mistake.

  Funny, as dubs we were so motivated by guilt, that even when you are really not being bad, you still feel guilty!! I am positive I have not make a mistake, and would like to know why you wonder if you have. Sometimes I do wonder if I would have been better off not becoming "aware" of the real truth in the first place (like The Matrix) , but once I confirmed certain things to myself, there are no doubts, and no going back.........oompa
• 

  dinah

  Bravo Oompa!!! You're figuring things out. But why would anyone want to live under those tyrannical circumstances?

  I used to think I'd be better off not knowing. Take it a step further, I might have been better off not knowing JW's in the first place!!!!! At least then it wouldn't have been forced on me. Even the Southern Baptists will back off a little (hee hee).

  How ya feeling today, buddy?
• 

  oompa

  better day today dinah! just found out an old nearby JW aquaintance left the borg three years ago...I knew this girls dad real well and he was a hardcore JW Nut. I don't know if she is df'd or not, but the great news is that she has gotten her mom, dad, and brother OUT!!!! I have a call on her machine to please call me tomorrow to get caught up. she is very postate now i'm afraid!...............thanks...........oompa