Please Share Your Experiences of Jehovah's Witnesses Shunning You

OOPS ! I accidentally hit the send button without writing ! Dumb me ! Anyway most of us have had our share of experiences being shunned. I thought it might be good for newbies to see how we have dealt with it , and learned to deal with some of our situations ! As some of you know - my adult daughters , witnesses have not spoken to me in 7 months. I have an older sister who has spoken to me once in 4 years. And I'm just inactive, faded, not DFed. But it shows the severity and strictness which the Watchtower society operates in cruelty.

I've dealt with it by realizing the witness relatives are blind and " cult mind controlled ". It hurts, but I just try to get happiness in other areas of my life, and stay busy. I don't give up hope for my daughters that maybe they will get out some day , I'm sure some of you have similar hopes for family members. So, please share any experiences you folks have had in dealing with the shunning. How has it affected you ? How you cope, and anything else you can think of ? Look forward to hearing from you,Peace out, Mr. Flipper

justhuman

Let me see mr Flipper. I was walking the street and I saw some of my ex-cong brothers doing street work and while I was passing by they froze for a while. My cousin is walking on the street and he turns on the other side trying not to come with eye contact with me. I was walking with my 2 small children in shopping mall and my ex-wife's sister pretends that she doesn't see me..

The most bad feeling it was when I had to go to the kindom hall after a year, to watch the wedding of my daughter who is shunning me. It was the most unfair thing for a father. Not to be allowed to attend to the weddiing.

I have a lot of experiences but indeed there is no need to tell them all.It just hurts so much...

worldtraveller

So who taught whom to shun? And did anyone here shun someone and why did you do it? Who told you to do this garbage? Mr. Flipper-did someone try to teach you to do this? I am trying to get to the bottom of this.

My JW assoc. swears up and down that they do not practice this. Maybe they call it something else (word games), but if it is not taught, then why practice is. Clearly it is in violation of Jesus' word.

flipper

JUST HUMAN- I definitely know how you feel my friend. I have seen former witness friends shun me in public places as well ! My 2 daughters 21 and 19 won't talk to me - and it hurts like hell. I did go to my 2 daughters weddings in 2006 and 2007 - but was NOT allowed to walk either one down the aisle . At my last daughters wedding in May 2007 - she didn't even talk to me or acknowledge my wife and I were there in attendance ! That being said - we still gave a sizeable wedding gift to them ! But you guessed it - no thank you card at all ! But I refuse to lower myself to treating them in the scumbag way they treat me by shunning them in the same way ! I will still send my daughters cards, letters, call occasionally - even IF they are not returned. Some day I will break through . But you are right JUST HUMAN - too many experiences to list - too much hurt .

WORLD TRAVELLER - WORLD - I didn't practice shunning when I was a witness ! People shunned me after I was out of the witnesses ! Yes - The governing body teaches all Jehovah's Witnesses to shun any former witness who doesn't go along with their beliefs ! Whether you are disfellowshipped or not ! Your JW associate you mentioned by denying they do this is not being honest with you and is yanking your chain when he says witnesses don't do this ! They do this all the time ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

myababes

I I was in the supermarket on Saturday and inadvertantly got in the queue behind a pioneer couple we used to be quite friendly with but were always quite up themselves. Any as i saw them i put a big smile on my face and opened my mouth to say hello. They both caught my eye and deliberately looked away just as I was going to say hello.

Now I have neither been DF or DA so there was absolutely no need for it, was just plain rudeness. I felt really embarrassed and felt so angry. I wish that I had the nerve to say something to them but that would have made me look foolish as the place was very busy.

Why do I feel so angry when they are the ones that are just a bunch of Pratts?

lfcviking

Well a few weeks ago (over the Christmas holidays) i was in the town centre, and i saw the PO and his wife from my old cong, We made eye contact but he jerked his head quickly away pretending not to see me. I saw him again later on that day and he did the same thing again. Hell i'm not even D'fd or Da'd so why would he openly blank me like this?

This though is in contrast to another occasion that happened a few months ago. I was walking the street one day and a different Elder from my old cong slowed down in his car, beeped and shouted 'hello' at me.

So here we have two members of the BOE from the same cong on two different occasions behaving completely opposite to eachother. So what can i conclude? Maybe its just personal choice? Maybe its shyness? Maybe its being snobby? Or maybe the PO just couldn't be arsed being friendly?

I don't know. People are funny, complicated creatures.

Like Jim Morrison said "People are strange....."

LFCv

Younglove1999

how do they "learn" to shun if they don't outright teach it?

it's engrained into a JW's mind that associating with those who do not practice or believe what you are doing as a JW is like drinking a little bit of poison on a daily basis. In order to protect your relationship with Jehovah, it's important to simplify your life to remove all distractions that may cause you to go "off the course of serving Jehovah"

So if you stop going to meetings, your are a bad influence and JW's cannot allow that type of influence to "test" them. If you mention one time that you're confused, the possibility of you talking against the organization is not worth the risk of continuing their relationship with you so they will cut ties with you to "save their relationship with Jehovah".

Recently a friend who I haven't spoken to in almost a year found out I wasn't going to meetings and finally decided to send me a letter after I called her a few times to see how she and her new baby were doing. Her letter stated she heard that I was adopting Satan's ways and that she had to cut off contact with me. That there would be many tests in these last days and I was one of hers ????

Not even sure how she came to that conclusion since we hadn't spoken for so long. I'd love to say that it's the cult that is controlling their minds, but honestly, I think there are people in this org. that get a rise off of making themselves better than others. These "friends" were horrible friends when I was in the truth and my attempts at "forgiving others freely and forgetting" clouded that very obvious fact.

AudeSapere

WorldTraveller: Maybe they call it something else (word games),

Yes. The witnesses don't tend to use the 'S'-word (shun) but most practice it dutifully. Ostracized is rarely used but - at least in my congs - this term was used more often than 'shunning'.

'Shunning' is what the mennonites or amish did. But it was more humane since it generally only occured for 6 months.

It's semantics with the witnesses. They have their own 'pure' language () and freely use it in their minds in situations that might bring the org into bad light with non-witnesses.

Generally they simply say that someone is "disfellowshipped" and then focus either on the unrepentent nature of the person in question or will briefly describe that it's a personal decision to avoid contact with such a bad influence. Rarely will they use the actual word 'Shun'.

-Aude.

worldtraveller

Didn't mean to steal the thread, but I cannot fathom just how childish this disfellowshipping is. The fact that some do not do it means there is some who can actually think for themselves and are still decent beings. For the rest of them, it's pretty sad. This is the kind of s%$t that children do in daycare. But even the children do forgive and forget.

I can understand as I come to learn about the teachings of Jesus why the Witnesses shun Jesus himself. The whole idea of Christianity is lost without Jesus. They have done exactly that- they are completely lost .

Thanks Mr. Flipper. and all others.

Please Share Your Experiences of Jehovah's Witnesses Shunning You

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