Need some advice (page 6)

looloo

you could agree to this , then get your wife to have a chat with your mum about the religion along the lines of oh i always thought that jws were such a caring and loving rligion untill i met your son and found out the truth about the truth and then go on to th history of the org and how can anyone really fall for that , i find it amazing , i would work better coming from a non dub (i think) good luck x

YoursChelbie

ko said:

I have become a man (havent seen her in 8 years), not some derilic druggie that picks up women and gambles my life away. I am a great husband and a hard worker and I live for my family and my soon to be born son, and i have a great love and faith for God and his son, but not in a crazy way like them.

If you can continue living a good life that is the best way to counteract all the "apostates are evil" generalization prevalent among many self righteous JW's.

You wife has to be one happy lady to have someone like you in her life.

Best wishes to you and your baby.

YC

KICKED OUT

So here is an update:

My mother just called me and we spoke for the first time in 5 yrs. She called to say her and my sister will be attending my wifes baby shower. She also wanted to make sure it was OK if she came after the birth to help out. So me and my wife have decided to try it out and see if anything good comes of it (i think its worth a shot). But i will be quick to pull the plug if she tries to preach.

Younglove1999

Good luck! I just found this thread and didn't get a chance to post advice, but seems you got plenty of good advice!

Congrats on the impending arrival of your little one- My daughter will be a year old next month. They're amazing

KICKED OUT

Just wanted to give everyone an update. My sister and mother came to my baby shower. they gave me a big hug said they love me and congradulated me. I will enclose the email me and my sister exchanged after the shower. It sounds to me like they want to preach to my wife...let me know what u all think.(Just so you know there will be NO Dub preaching under MY roof.)

PS I am by nature a very nice person that hates conflict, let me know if I am being to much of a pushover.

THIS IS MY EMAIL(MY SISTER IS PREGNANT AS WELL, THAT IS THE CONGRATS):

It was great seeing you on Sunday. You look great and I am so excited about your news. I understand completely if you don’t feel it is right to respond to my email, I just wanted to tell you how great it was to see you for the first time in 8 years and that I love you. Joel

THIS IS HER RESPONSE:

It was nice and sad at the same time to see you too. I wish things were different.

I am happy for you and Allison and hope to get to know her more.

I also wanted to let you know that the Memorial this year is on Saturday March 22 nd . I forget where you live but if you are interested I could find out where the nearest KH is and what time it is. Please let me know.

KICKED OUT

I forgot to mention i got some nice gifts from them, so that was good.

OnTheWayOut

they gave me a big hug said they love me and congradulated me

Mom wants to act human and loving. She wants to defy her indoctrinated training.

Her email is very structured and (in my opinion) cold. It still says she wants to be
human and loving in the first part though.

I think her walls will come down slowly if she's in your family's life. She's afraid to
email, write anything that is defiant of her training, but I bet she will hug you and speak
to you. Maybe she will even eventually (if not already) eat with you. This could be a
good thing.

AudeSapere

I'm glad you were able to have decent contact at such a momentous event in your life.

I'd still be guarded with Mom and Sis. Clearly sis is still scouting out ways to hook you back into the org. They think there is still hope for you to return - if only they could find the right words at the right time. They don't realize this will never happen so the keep hoping. I remember my mom and I used to quote the scripture to each other (gag me!!) "Love ... hopes all things, endures all things ... love never fails."

They have hope that you will to Jehovah, the org and to them.

Also, with regard to your mom's interest in the baby. I'm such a cynic with this after seeing the behavior of my own mother with her faded children and her grandchildren. In my mom's case, I truly believe that discomfort (and shame??) she feels when strangers ask about her children and grandchildren (or when she has to admit that she has no contact with them) is a significantly greater motivator than any real desire to be a meaningful part of her children and grandchildren's life.

The new poster on this thread (sorry! - i forget your name) made some points that I completely agree with.

My brother phrased it this way: Our parents seemed to view their children as possessions (and abused us as such) rather than sacred charges.

I do hope things work out and your mom can find a way to have meaningful interaction with your family and leave the cult out of it.

Best wishes for you and wife during the next exciting months.

-Aude.

chikikie

I think hun that you need to address guidelines. Make it absolutely clear that you left the JWs for good reasons, and that you never intend to return to the organisation, mentioning the memorial is in a vain hope that you and your pregnant wife will go to the memorial and suddenly get your faith back, study etc, obv from what you have written this is not going to happen. You need to write an email and say that you know all there is to know about the JWs and have rejected that as a faith, and that on your part you feel there are no barriers, to a renewed family closeness, but that any preaching of the JWs brings back many unhappy memories and you have put that all behind you.

Dont let them cause any friction between you and your wife, cos from here it sounds as if you have found your own little piece of paradise. Good Luck to you.

Dont be a pushover, ok

DoomVoyager

As the previous poster stated, it might be a good idea to reply to the e-mail by confirming that you have absolutely no interest in subjecting your family to such a destructive and oppressive cult. However, they are more than welcome to accept you and your family at any time they wish - you will be waiting.

But you know your mom, I don't - temper this with your own judgement.

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