After kindly explaining to her your reasons why, I would tell her to get lost. Mother? This has got to be some sort of joke. I genuinely have pity for your situation. Horible.
Need some advice
by KICKED OUT 62 Replies latest jw friends
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jambon1
PS - just read the email reply. Only a Jehovah's Witness could utter the words, in relation to a newborn etc, "it was nice but also sad". Christ almighty, can they hear themselves?
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cyber-sista
I guess I would question her motive. Is it her hope that her relationship with your child will lead to its conversion to being a JW someday? I know JW grandmothers who have stopped having a relationship with their unbelieving grandchildren because they come to the realization that the children will die in Armegeddon because of their unbelieving parents and they don't want their heart to be divided in that way ( can't see that being healthy for your child in the long run). When my daughter (not baptized) was getting married to someone (not a JW) I was taken in the backroom with an elder and a CO and told how I should view this situation. I was adviced to distance myself from my daughter, because in the end, especially if they had children this could divide my heart towards god. So what they were saying was that loving my unbelieving grandchild could divided my heart towards god. What kind of crap is that?
Of course this isn't always the case, but the JW grandmothers I have known do preach to their grandchildren. I can't see that it is healthy for your child to see its own father victimized (ignored, shunned) by his own parent. I can't see that it would be a postive experience for your wife either.
Your mother should not be the one to set the rules about your family (that you should stay away while she is there at your home!).
One side of me says let her come, maybe she will be softened by it, but the other side of me says don't put yourself in a position where you are being controlled by the JW rules (for you to have to stay away from your own wife and child in her presence seems wrong and even creepy to me to me right now.) Yes, tell your mom you love her and would love to have a normal family relationship with your family unit wife, husband and child. But you can't let her divide your family unit from the start.--it's not normal or healthy behaviour!
Just my opinion.
Congratulations by the way. Seek out those who are supportive of your family. These may not be blood relations, but good friendships can substitute.
The best,
CS