by babygirl75 50 Replies latest jw friends
I dont know what state you live in ... for a few years many judges have gone way overboard in protecting "fathers rights".
I would LOVE to hear how ANYONE has gone overboard in protecting "father's rights". Too often, fathers get the short end of the stick - and that's putting it mildly.
I could recount horror story after horror story - but I don't believe for one minute I would change how anyone here feels - until it's HIS turn to get f-ed over.
I understand what you're saying but also don't believe that you have a legal ground to deny visitation.
Have you taken this to the courts to collect back childsupport and perhaps garnish wages to ensure future, timely payment??
-Aude.
And furthermore...(rant building), I am so distressed by the manner in which fathers and men are often treated in this country that I am a member of the National Coalition of Free Man (just renewed today; thanks for the incentive) as well as Fathers4JusticeUS. I am also going to send Glenn Sacks a few dollars right now. If you don't know who Glenn Sacks is, he's a men's issues columnist/commentator/blogger and is a hell of a nice guy as well. Definitely not a misogynist, or I wouldn't read his column.
Does he drink (na...does pot and pain med abuse count?)
Violent tendencies (wife has a PPO ...he stalks and abuses phones and email)
Drug abuse (above)
Criminal background (x2 , burglary and theft did time on both counts)
Verbally abusive (see the PPO above..plus he's made contact on several family members over the years)
Did I mention he possesses 3 handguns that are not registered in his state of residence. We alerted the police who dont care to follow up. 3 times.. the guns were involved in one incident.
This guy has had the DHS investigate "sexual" things, spanking, beating and virgin sacrifices that have allegedlly happened in my home or the homes of relatives. All have bee unfounded. He was cited for beating his son with a paddle, however.
Every year he files a motion to get full custody. The DHS and Freind of Court tender their information. After hearings held the last 2 years we got permission to place the child in our school district... and we had to petition to move out of state for work.
"DAD" has worked about 1 year of the last 5. We pay for all support etc. He owes $500 for med payments (we have been filing for payment on those for 2 years now). Last year, while he was out of work... he asked for full custody and us to pay him enought child support to make him a living wage.
When we were in state 'DAD' would call the Sherrif to do a welfare check about once a month.. it gets tiresome to let the deputies come in to see a happy or sleeping kid.
He pulled the kid out of school mid day once... took him to the state police and had a forensic interview for sexual abuse done. By law, he kidnapped the kid and the School could have been sued for letting him leave without telling us. NO ONE WOULD PUSH THIS!
He called our local SO the other night... kiddo was arguing with his brother and I hollered at a dog while he was on the phone with "Dad".... About an hour later the Deputies pull up..." a guy from X says you were screaming at CXXXX and his brother was beating him"... about 2 minutes in my house they had the picture and left without a report.
He files IRS returns claiming the child... he has him way less than 50% of the time. Every year I get a IRS letter to explain why we claim the kid... The IRS does nothing to chase the looser down for tax fraud. Plus..I have to WAIT for my refund now.
As part of the last modification we have to make a phone available 6 hours a week for DAD to call the kid. DAD has told the kid to tell his school that we beat him. Last night DAD told the kid that the Sherrif should have done more the other night...as he was being "abused" and such (he likes to put crap in the kids head and guilt trip him)
Did I mention he tapes all calls without permission... and now he does it across state lines... I've talked to the US AG , both states' AG and the Prosecutor in his county ...they all know the law but wont follow up.
I could go on and on. Until you guys have to put up with this hell you could never understand it. Fairness should be reserved for fair people.
~Hill
read my last post... ignoring a felon and allowing abuse through state agencies enough for ya...
I know some good good men who have gotten the shaft... the pendelum has swung enough to protect those not deserving...
~Hill
Not without a modification of the court agreement, unless you suspect abuse then you have to get CPS involved.
No one is saying that abuse does not occur, Hillbilly. Nice try, though.
Now how about YOU try this one - being arrested on false accusations (100 percent completely false - though some refuse to believe it even though the charges were dropped). Damage was done - the man in question lost everything and to this day, no one will employ him. He is down to his last few dollars. He has nightmares each and everynight. He suffers major depression. He lost his good name and, more importantly, his children - EVEN THOUGH HE PAID CHILD SUPPORT, the evil bitch who falsely accused him HID THEM FROM HIM - (up until now at least - he has one special needs son and one other son who just returned after HIMSELF being abused by the woman who falsely accused the man of whom I speak. WOMEN DO ABUSE CHILDREN!! AND ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE, WOMEN DO LIE ABOUT ABUSE IN ORDER TO GET THEIR EX OUT OF THEIR LIVES. Don't want your ex to see the kids? Accuse him of raping them. That ought to do it!
(by the way, I am not saying the OP would ever do this.)
So, the question is.......
How do I know? I met this man of whom I write years after the horrible experience and I am very in love with him. But I would be lying if I said that it has been easy. You have no idea what being accused of horrible crimes does to the mind, emotions and other things of a decent man. A good and loving man - whose only crime was to marry a PSYCHO.
And you've no idea what is means to be the woman who loves such a man. Life is not, nor ever will be normal for me. I make some small sacrifices and yes, some big ones as well. I love him. He's innocent.
By the way, the lying bitch ex-wife is now HERSELF in jail and she IS guilty of the crimes - evil, evil woman.. I hope she rots there.
Finally, please don't accuse me of comparing child abuse to being in prison for the rest of one's life. That's the way many are able to give themselves permission not to think about the horror of being falsely accused of heinous crimes. People say, "Oh, there's no comparison."
Who's comparing? Each is a nightmare in its own. But don't expect me to back down when it comes to championing the cause of good men f-ed over by bad women and bad judges.
Have you taken this to the courts to collect back childsupport and perhaps garnish wages to ensure future, timely payment??
The court ordered him to pay an additional $80 a month in addition to what he is supposed to be paying monthly to help catch up what he is past due on. In NC they cannot garnish wages. Besides, he currently is not working. He is under a workers comp insurance claim. Per the Child support people, they cannot touch insurance money and so as long as he is sending in some type of payment there is nothing they can do. They did say they will take any tax refund he may get.
In this situation, unless the father is endangering the safety of the child, I would never interfere with the child/parent relationship. It is very important for the child to have as much of a relationship with the father or mother as can be had.
I do understand the frustration and justified disgust over someone who does not help support their child, as I have experienced the same thing for many years now. Our child was planned, but the father still ended up a dead beat in that area.
I do know, that regardless of what is right and wrong in child support payments, it would damage my child, or any other child more to not have a relationship with their parent. So, for this reason, I just bite my frustration down, and have always made the father welcome. It's not for my benefit, it's for my child, whether I like him or not.
LTF
You can't just decide on your own to disallow visitation. It doesn't matter whether or not your ex is paying, he still gets his visitation. Probably only a court order could accomplish suspending his visitation. Otherwise you might be getting yourself in trouble with the law. My 2...
