JW woman in trouble

by lisa_82069 43 Replies latest social relationships

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  AK - Jeff

  Jehovah chooses the proper time to reveal things.

  Metsman - prove this a fact please.

  Jeff
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  flipper

  METSMAN- In regards to your statement - " I have never seen women abused in the congregation ". It's because you haven't been looking around obviously. I have an older sister who is 56 , has been on anti-depressants for 20 plus years after getting divorced from an abusive JW husband in 1989. My sister just had a stroke due to the stress she's dealt with all these years , requiring high blood pressure medication as well as other serious ailments, fibromyalgia , Lupus , heart arrythmia , and depression and post-traumatic stress syndrome.
  
  Lets see now, what was her upstanding witness husband like ? Where do I begin , he cheated repeatedly on her, was a cocaine and methamphetamine addict , all the while hiding it from the elders in the congregation. He beat her , threw her into walls ( secretly so no fine witness people like yourself would know at the kingdom hall ) , he sexually abused her so badly it destroyed her sexual organs violently . He made lewd comments to their adolescent daughter about not having big enough breasts at 13 . And how did the beloved elders handle all this ??? They told my sister that , " She must not be doing her job as a submissive wife .That obviously she was doing something to upset her husband and she needed to work on things. " Yes, METSMAN THE elders who you feel have God's holy spirit . Listen , I feel you should take the little pins out of your head and realistically look at the evidence here. My sister not only had to suffer abuse at the hands of the sick husband ; she got abused a second time by the elders when they were made aware of the crimes being committed against her. And these stories are not isolated- they happen all the time.
  
  I don't care how much holy spirit you say appointed elders in Jehovah's Witnesses religion - it is a lie and doesn't make it so- just because you are told that from men who sit and use the toilet like you and me. They are nothing special - in fact the elders and governing body are a hindrance to people living a safe life. You need to inform yourself at how the elders and GB covered over child abuse going on in your organization the last 20 years or so and see that this led to much suffering among children and their parents. Your organization is wicked, the ones leading it are wicked, they use people , and you should do yourself a favor and escape while you can - plus open your closed mind up ! My sister suffered these injustices for what ? So organizations like yours can pull the wool over peoples eyes , and cause more suffering ? The WTBS needs to come down
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  Metsman

  Well, I don't know the whole story Quandry, but there are examples in the bible during the Apostle Paul's day of congregations that lose Jehovah's holy spirit because things are not clean in the congregation. Some congregations are dissolved. The point is, in a normally operated congregation these things do not happen and you see the happiness and family like atmosphere because of it. I'm not sure what your daughter did, but there must have been some kind of proof she was doing something. Elders don't just walk up to a person and accuse them of things. That's silly. And if it were such a widespread problem then the religion would not continue to grow as it is.
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  Metsman

  Bible history proves this, if you believe in it. Jehovah would allow wickedness to continue during the time of Ancient Israel and then at a time of his choosing, he took care of the situations. In 607 BCE the Babylonians destroyed Jerusalem because of their wickedness and hardened hearts towards his requirements. But it was prophesized decades in advance that it would happen. He allowed time to pass. So, it is the same with all other things in the congregation. Sometimes there is a quick resolution, other times in takes a period of time. But in the end, the congregation stays clean. It depends what you consider FACT though.
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  flipper

  METSMAN- I take issue with you on what you said to Quandry . The congregation DOES NOT stay clean. Many times these wicked situations ARE NOT cleaned out in time. A case in point is the child abuse scandal going on in the witness organization as we speak. The child abuse settlements your organization made with 16 child abuse victims out of court last year was broadcast on NBC nightly news on November 21st and there is documented proof that the Watchtower society knew about these abuses going on for YEARS ! A gag order was put on the victims so they could not talk publicly about what happened to them. Families over the years who went to authorities to try to get justice for these child abuse cases ; were disfellowshipped , kicked out of the congregation so as not to bring a " bad " name to your organization.
  
  Would you like to know why you never heard about these child abuse scandals ? Because the Watchtower society doesn't want you to know, or none of their members ! You in the Jehovah's Witness faith are under " information control" , thus " mind control" by the society. They only tell you what they want you to hear , so you won't doubt their authority. I feel sorry for you that you are not allowed to REALLY inform yourself about the REAL TRUTH of the Watchtower society. You are blinded - it's not entirely your fault
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  SPAZnik

  Metsman, women are emotionally weaker?
  hahahahahahahahahahahah.
  It seems you have a lot to learn about strength.
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  SPAZnik

  "if it were such a widespread problem then the religion would not continue to grow as it is." - metsman

  And I guess every religion in the world can use this same argument, hey?

  Take your head out of your ass, man.
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  SPAZnik

  It depends what you consider FACT though. - Metsman.

  You're getting warmer.
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  lisa_82069

  I think I may have lost a friend. During the past week I had several conversations with her about some of the things I noticed in her behavior and things she said, my friend became visibly upset and again sort of transformed into someone I didn't even recognize right in front of me. Our conversations ended with her telling me I wasn't a psychiatrist and I didn't know what I was talking about. At one point I didn't even recognize her voice because it started to sound like someone else's voice. She also began to sound very self-righeous in her tone and manner. I don't know any other way to explain it, but the sound quality of her voice changed and she sounded like someone else. I knew I was getting though to her because during the conversations she would briefly start to tear up as if she was trying to let it go, but then all of a sudden start to repeat something from the bible. She even went so far as to tell me that her husband was a "good man" and a "good provider" and that I didn't know him. My jaw hit the floor and again I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Just two weeks ago and for the past several years I've heard her talk about what a tortured life she has been living with this man. From him waking her up at in the middle of the night to talk about the bible, to listening to him putting her down for everything she tries to do. I read some of the other comments on this page and I understand there are two sides to every story, but the emotion and facial expressions my friend demonstrated were genuine and straight from her heart. The kind of emotion I feel I saw in her that can't be hidden or faked. Also, I have met her husband and I believe her. My heart is breaking for my friend, while talking with her, I continued to tell her what a good, loving person she has been to me and all of the people I see her interact with. I have seen this woman give up so much time to help people around her that she barely has time for herself at the end of the day. She works, raises her child, spends at least 3 days a week during work for her church or attending her meetings. And when she isn't participating in those activities she is constantly working or thinking about someone else to help other than herself. I have also done some more reading on the internet about the JW religion. My friend is now 40. I've read stories about women much younger in their teens and early 20's that have gotten better or away from their oppressive relationships with their families and their religious organizations, but I am worried my friend may have waited too long to try to change or to even realize that she needs to change. Of the people reading my messages, do any of you know what kind of percentage of women my friends age successfully get away from such situations? Lastly, I looked back on my relationship with my friend and have noticed several contradicting behaviors I wonder how many other JW's participate in. For example, every holiday season I would mention what I was doing with family or non-JW friends and my friend would say, "we don't celebrate holidays". I respected her for her beliefs and her religion, but then I would see her after the holiday and she would tell me about a party she threw or attended with her JW friends and relatives. Also, she would always give me a little present or card around my birthday which actually said "Happy Birthday" on it. But when I asked her about her own birthday or her child's birthday, she just said, "well we don't celebrate that, because that's not what we believe". Also, whenever the subject of government or voting or America came up my friend would distance herself from these topics, but I noticed she would also comment on how many of her JW friends didn't seem to have a difficult time when they wanted to sue someone in court or get some type of legal retribution for some wrong that was done to them. It seemed they used the system to their benefit even though they didn't believe in it or supported it. My question would be how can this be? Are other JW's like this or is my friend just one unusual exception? I started this message by saying I think I may lost this friend. Our relationship has been tested this past week with a lot of stressful conversation. I have taken some of the advice given here and continue to tell her what a wonderful person she is and I try to be as supportive as I can. I will continue to do that no matter what because deep down she really is a wonderful human being who I think is in a circumstance which is overwhelming her.
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  flipper

  LISA- Yes, I would continue following the advice you got from posters here who told you to keep encouraging her , telling her you care, and being a real friend . Inside the witness religion friendship is conditional on how much time you report knocking on peoples doors in the preaching work , how many times you comment at their meetings, friendship in the witnesses is all about " outward appearances " how it looks, not whats on the inside of a person. The reason you saw the flip-flop in your friends personality is because witnesses have the " cult controlled " personality ( which came out when she was defending her husband ) they are encouraged through fear to keep that personality. But- when you reached your friend a couple weeks ago, she let go of her " cult " personality and showed you her real, authentic personality . It's almost like witnesses are the " stepford wives" no emotion. But when you get them to open up, the masked cult influenced personality comes off - for a little while. It truly is freaky seeing witnesses go back and forth from the cult personality to their real personality. So, that is what is happening with your friend - just so you would understand. You are dealing with a person who s mind controlled by a cult. Good luck, Peace out, Mr. Flipper