by AK - Jeff 59 Replies latest jw experiences
I had some close friends but even while in the org we no longer communicated when I moved from one congregation to another. The last few congregations I attended I was on the outside and had no one at the kh that I considered a friend.
Through the fading process I lost touch with everyone I considered a friend. They have my number if there is any interest in talking.
no
Ready made friends may be found (sometimes worldwide) by joining groups such as the Kiwanis, Optimist, Lions, Rotary Clubs etc., and you get to do some good in the world.
Not enough to consider for a second going back but, yeah, I kinda miss the excuse of not having to fully get involved in Holidays as I am sort of dreading the thought of Easter. Sometimes I think about the friends that I had but I guess none of them were really friends. What would we talk about today? We'd be starting over - its my fault too. How good of a friend was it if all that you had in common was "the truth"?
Haven't missed it at all.
One thing I did - at the good suggestion of a poster here - was to check out Kiwanis Club. I liked it and joined. At first.
Now, a member for almost a year - I find that my attachment to anything like that is uncomfortable. I don't go to meetings often now for Kiwanis. For one thing, most of the members my age are successful businessmen, with a history. I have very little history to share unless I bring up the cult - and once that has been said, what else is there to talk about without seeming the obsessed nutcase to them?
I kinda feel like I did in high school - in the room, but not particularly noticed or of relevancy to the crowd. I feel outside - looking in. I can't talk about my past politics - I don't have any. I can't talk about attending the local high school basketball games - I never did. I can't talk about driving the 'cool' cars in high school or later - I never owned them unless they were 'service' cars.
Unless it was 'practical' 'service oriented' 'theocratic' I never pursued it. I was, in reality, all Jw, all the time!
Now I don't fit in with them - and never will. And I don't fit in with the 'world' outside of xjw's either.
This thread was not intended to be a sympathy thread - I don't want it to become that. But I honestly don't know how to start a social life outside of Jw's. I have a couple of friends that I meet for coffee - we enjoy nice and variety conversation. I have a few xjw friends that I talk to, and sometimes meet with. I am really not that unhappy with the way things are going. I just sometimes think that the things that were robbed from me [like 40+ years of believing every word of complete bullshit], are somehow too much to ever get over entirely. I do refuse to stay a victim - but sometimes I don't feel like much of a survivor either.
Well - I am off to coffee. I do have that. Perhaps, only 4 years out, and at my age, that is not too bad.
Jeff
No I don't miss it at all, am glad to be free of all the hypocrisy and lies.
For one thing, most of the members my age are successful businessmen, with a history . I have very little history to share unless I bring up the cult - and once that has been said, what else is there to talk about without seeming the obsessed nutcase to them?
I really relate to this Jeff. A college educated, professional, normal, family-oriented woman actually married me, for which I am eternally grateful. With that came her friends and family, almost all of whom are are schooled and, well, normal. What does an ex-witness who has dabbled in the counter-culture have in common with a Notre Dame schooled financier? Or an engineer? It's a struggle much of the time to even say anything, due to the fear of sounding stupid. So I pretty much play the supporting actors role, except with those few of my wife's friends that share common ground with me. I have yet to make any friends on my own since leaving four years ago. Maybe a group where everyone is learning something from square one would be better, more of an equal footing to distract us from our personal histories.
i miss my friends, but I don't miss anything about being a witness
i enjoy intellectual conversation and debate too much. i also don't
miss having to pretend to be someone i wasn't and pretending to
believe things i didn't
but i did have many people that i cared about very much and i do
miss them.
No, I can't say I do. I was miserable when I was a JW. Sure I had a few friends, but I only hung out with them with other JW's. I never felt like any of them where my real friends. I'm much happier now that I've been out. I don't have to let religion rule my life.
