For a while I missed the thought that I was with a small group that was right with god in the midst of a wicked world. Once I realized that the concept was based upon a lie, I no longer longed for the un-real. I am now focues on the real life and will never go back to that garbage.
Do you ever miss it? Ever?
by AK - Jeff 59 Replies latest jw experiences
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sacolton
The "conditional" friends. Who needs them? My brother-in-law and I have been friends for a very long time. We go way back before
I ever became a JW. I became a JW. We hung out all the time and had great times. Lots of laughs. When I DA'd ... everything just
stopped. Funny how all those wonderful times didn't account for anything. Pretty sad. -
Carmel
Not! Jeff, how's Kiwanis going? carm
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megaflower
No, not at all. My experience "with the friends" is they are only a friend when they want something from you. If you are perceived as one who has $$$$, or infulence then you are a part of the inner circle. The ones who do not have much materially or do not have family connections they could care a rats ass about.
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Grammy
Not NO but Hell NO!
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Layla33
How can I miss something I had nightmares about for two years? Absolutely not.
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OnTheWayOut
I thought I missed it. Not the field circus, not the mindless repeating of information that
was just read to answer questions at the WT study or bookstudy. What I thought I missed
was serious discussions with JW friends and enjoying time together. But I was mistaken.This week, I met with good friends in Indiana, friends like AK-Jeff and JK666. We were able
to be ourselves and express our opinions. Our thoughts did not have to be in harmony with
each other's or with WT's doctrines. We could be at different places in our lives and beliefs
yet still the best of friends.Further, I met with other ex-JW's this week. We could have open honest conversation.
We could laugh at the WTS and what we used to believe. Some were fundamentalists, some
were atheists. Some were examining eastern religion. We had serious conversations, but
nobody was concerned about being "right" and these other people being wrong.Later, this week, I also met with my A.A. group. Afterward, at a restaurant, someone was
sharing some Christian author's belief that the Muslim faith was the result of the
gran mal seizures of one man. I said "That's an ignorant statement." My A.A. companion
found my bold statement rather insulting. He explained that this man wasn't just spouting
an opinion but had some serious reasons why he believed this. I said "Okay. Sorry I said
that, but what I meant was that it is ignorant to assume that anyone who believes different
from himself does so because of something like that, but still assumes that he, himself,
is in the right religion. He would have to look at his own beliefs and see if the same could
be said for Jesus or any sect of Christianity- that the beliefs could have started from something
similar."He said, "Oh. I thought you were defending Islam. I suppose you are possibly right."
The whole point was that, unlike dubs, we were all free to speak our minds and accept the
possibility that we, ourselves, were wrong or without complete understanding.Now, I don't miss the conversations and gatherings with dubs anymore.
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B_Deserter
Yes I miss it. Since I'm still technically in I get tastes of it every once in a while. That's why it's important to build up those experiences outside the kingdom hall. I think the most difficult thing to adjust to when leaving is the fact that you have to work harder to make friends. On the outside, people aren't mandated by religious doctrine to like you, so you have to have some social skills.
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Finally-Free
As a JW I didn't have any friends, except perhaps one, though I occasionally was invited to "get togethers" or to a restaurant after a meeting or serviceā¢. Had I left 5 years sooner than I did I might have missed those social occasions. The last few years as a JW I no longer enjoyed going out with other JWs, and usually looked for an excuse to decline invitations. I knew these were not real friends, and I always felt I had to watch what I said around them. It's not that I was speaking against the organization or anything, but it seemed like I couldn't talk about work, hobbies, current events, or any other interests without being reminded that these other interests should not detract from my "service to Jehovah".
So no, I don't miss any of it. I don't have many friends, but the ones I have are great. I can talk to them about anything at all, from politics to technology to religion to the size of our most recent bowel movements. No topic is off limits and no one is made to feel bad for having a differing opinion. In fact, it's nice to be around people who have different perspectives on things. There's so much more opportunity to learn and grow than when surrounded by people who are exactly alike in thought.
W
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dogisgod
Just having the concept of "community" is something I miss. It was just a "concept" not reality. This made me remember ...when G. Bush stole the first election I just wished there was somewhere I could go to grieve. Just stayed home.