Hey, did the shrink abandon his own thread? I just get glossed over by posters like no one sees me here. Was this a trick, Flipper? That's not very nice. Or do you only help people selectively, or that you "know"?
Your Pretend Shrink is Back - Share Your Problems - I'll Help if I Can
by flipper 59 Replies latest jw friends
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FlyingHighNow
Goddess R., Flipper probably went to snuggle with his wife. I'm pretty confident he will answer you when he comes back.
I can tell from reading your post that you are a people pleaser. A good thing as long as you don't neglect your own needs to the point of becoming invisible, especially to yourself.
You drive? See your boyfriend at work a day or two less a week. Volunteer. Join a book club. Go sit in Barnes and Noble and drink a latte and read. Get out, honey. Take care of you. You will not regret it. And you can also read up on taking control of out of control conversations like those with your mother. PM me if you want. I am going to bed now. But I'll answer tomorrow.
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GoddessRachel
Thanks, FlyingHighNow. You are such a sweet person. And you are spot on with your advice. I hope for the best for you and Julian. Goodnight.
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flipper
GODDESS RACHEL- I'm sorry your boyfriend works a lot and doesn't take time for you. It sounds like you live more for him and his interests than he lives for you and your interests ! It sounds like you both need the relationship to be more balanced in pursuing interests you BOTH have. Have you talked in depth with him of your concerns ? Communication is so important. We men don't read minds ( contrary to popular opinion ). Some men communicate better with women and can read women better than other men. So talk with him about your concerns in a kind, caring way so as to get him to listen, don't be whiny or insulting, just be realistic.
If he only wants it his way- and doesn't want to do things you like to do , perhaps he's selfish , and not the one for you. It sounds like you do all the bending and giving in the relationship . But for it to work in the long term it has to go both ways- both parties need to give equally to be happy.
If he is looking at internet porn more than he looks at you - he really might be selfish, and might not be a one woman man ! He might need more variety than you think ! I would think about that, seriously. Good luck to you !
In regards to your mom - just try to stay on non-JW subjects to keep that relationship going. I feel for you- my mom and dad are witnesses but we just don't go " there" discussing witness stuff. They know I disagree with it but we just discuss family things and other non-witness topics in discussions. Try it - it should work for you . Good luck !
COGNAC- It sounds like you don't have too many bad memories as a girl. I do think you identify with your grandmother and are perhaps trying to make a connection with her in a subconscious way - by memory loss. I've heard of people doing that to try to connect with someone they've lost in death. They have similar things they imitate in that person to relate. I hope the hypnosis works for you and helps your memory.
HILLBILLY- Embrace your femininity and beauty ! Maybe you should move to our town - it's pretty accepting and eclectic - and join a woman's support group ! LOL! In our town nothing surprises anybody - just a bunch of damn hippies here in Northern California small towns ! It's all I've got for ya bud !
FLYING HIGH NOW- First of all- I feel for your situation ! I would say never let your grandson Julian feel guilty over his feelings of wanting to perhaps be with his mother or about being confused. He is young , he needs to feel safe; he loves his grandmother and his mom - so just give him positive attention and love . Reassure him if he wants to live with his mom , you will understand , and no matter what happens he's always welcome to stay with you . You should communicate that to him. Kids need to feel adults in their lives will keep them safe.
As regards the job ; try studying for it after you have put your grandson to bed . Give him love and support but find time for studying. You are a grandmother first - a worker second. You can always get another job if this one doesn't pan out - but you can't get another grandson to replace him. I wish you the best of luck !
MR> MAJESTIC- I feel that no matter what you look into - you have to be true to yourself . There are lots of theories, ideas , philosophies, etc. But at the end of the day ask yourself this question - How have I made this world a better place to live in ? Have I helped someone in a positive way today in their life ? That's usually what I ask myself - personally I think the rest is just verbal BS to be honest. Hope you are well too ! Good luck ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper -
flipper
Now, now my friends , don't be hasty in assuming things. I was cooking dinner for my beloved wife on the grill- all the while taking time in answering your questions , very carefully ! Hope you like the answers ! Let me know ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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GoddessRachel
Now, now my friends , don't be hasty in assuming things. I was cooking dinner for my beloved wife on the grill- all the while taking time in answering your questions , very carefully ! Hope you like the answers ! Let me know ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
Sorry, Mr. Flipper, I put some very personal things out on the world wide web and then felt vulnerable about it. My fault not yours. Thanks so much for your most excellent advice.
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flipper
GODDESS RACHEL- No problem my friend. Hey I've exposed a lot about myself on the board too in the last year being on ! I know how it can make us feel awkward ! Good luck ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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Homerovah the Almighty
Dr. Flipper ,
I've been having a problem with a persistent case of hemorrhoids, and I was wondering what suggestions you may offer as remedy ?
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GoddessRachel
Dear Mr. Flipper,
Thank you for understanding.
I'd like to add this to my scenario and see if it changes things a bit in your mind:
My boyfriend isn't just neglecting me for "another day on the job," so to say. This just very well might be his big break that he has been working hard for for over a decade. As far as communicating goes, we usually are really good at it, but since he's had this lead he's doesn't want to (or simply can't due to working long hours and trying to stay focused) take time to talk to me at all, or if he does, he takes everything I say the wrong way, which didn't used to happen. So his stress levels are definitely up. I guess I have been hoping that I can ride this out, and understand that if I was on to something really big and had to work long hours, I'd want the same understanding from him. It's just easier said than done, I suppose.
So, I mean, I'm not trying to make excuses to stay with someone I shouldn't be with, but also, it's a fine line I walk in trying to understand if I'm being taken advantage of or if I'm being loyal to my best friend during a tough but hopeful time for him professionally.
Does that make any sense?
Thanks, again, I hope after reading my situation you don't decide against doing one of these threads again, LOL. It really helps to just get it out there.
Rachel
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flipper
HOMEROVAH- Well, I've heard Preparation H works well for hemorrhoids ! LOL! Also eat lots of cereals, roughage , vegetables, salads with dirt still on them ! ( More roughage from the dirt ! Just teasing . ) Just generally having a good diet . An old ancient cure was sitting in Jello for a few hours, or spreading mayonnaise on your crack ( notice I said mayonnaise, not mustard , important detail ) . Good luck !
GODDESS RACHEL- Oh, I agree with you . By all means I feel it's good to support your boyfriend in his pursuit of his " big break " in regards to his profession. And it is true , I've read in psychology books men cannot multi-task as well as women. When we are concentrating on doing something we tend to focus more on just one thing where women multi-focus. It is a kind of difference in the sexes ! If he is stressful my suggestion would be to break him out of his rigid routine and you guys take a road trip somewhere enjoyable to the two of you ! In will help ease both of your stress ! In time it will work out one way or the other. Just put your best effort forward . Good luck. I'lll still do these threads - they are fun, and I too feel it's good to open up about stresses - t helps us heal ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper