Thinking of becoming a Witness again and my reasons for doing so :(

by reniaa 383 Replies latest jw experiences

  • AllTimeJeff
    AllTimeJeff

    Hi there. Your post really touched me, and while I do my best to avoid offering specific advice on boards like this, I want to tell you that I do indeed have some advice for you: Get some help, professional help.

    I have suffered from single event PTSD. I needed a relatively small amount of therapy, but it was very useful. It sounds like you are in a somewhat dark, lonely place. It is impossible on the internet to know exactly all that you are going through. But from what you described, there are other ways to deal with the loneliness then to go to a controlling group all for the sake of conditional love and acceptance. Do you really want to go to a group that doesn't really care about accepting who you really are?

    I mean it when I say I feel very uncomfortable offering this much personal advice. But it is healthy to at least explore some therapy. I urge you to do so before returning. Remember, oftentimes after we have left a bad situation, whether that be a religion, a bad marriage, etc, there is still the tendency to remember only the few good feelings and good times and to forget the general bad feelings and bad times. So don't be hasty, consider talking to some professionals about how you are feeling.

  • Manny Trillo
    Manny Trillo

    When you say you want to go to the Memorial to get 'loved up', I think you cut to the heart of your problem. Lots of witnesses run a sub-conscious cost/benefit analysis in their brain constantly. "If I remain a witness I get unfettered access to my 'friends' and family; If I don't, I get misery and may die at armageddon" . The only thing we should need to have unfettered access to our friends and family is love and respect. If you don't have that sensation that you are worshipping a real God, like the one described from the platform and that all the doctrines the Witnesses teach are pragmatic, logically sound and have or will/have positive results in your life, then what you are planning to do is 'ACCEPT'. This is not believing and its not faith.

    Some people turn into self-fulfilling prophecies, they may have never had the kind of social interaction they needed to negotiate their way in life, because the KH was making sure they never suffered the hurt and rejection that we learn from in our lives, or other. Like chiki said some people do face rejection of a sort, but you're rarely allowed to follow the natural course of dealing with that rejection and learn from it. Sounds like you have had a bad run of chosing mates and friends possibly, but that doesn't have to be a terminal situation, it doesn't mean you lack the ability to recognize genuine quality in people and it doesn't mean that these people don't exist outside of 'Jehovahs Organization'. It means you have to analyze yourself, find out why you make the choices you make, find out what motivates you. Take care of you first.

    Spirituality can be like MSG, it gives you a satisfying burst of flavor, but you want more of it eventually and gives you nothing nutritional in return.

  • Layla33
    Layla33
    Sounds like "battered persons" syndrome to me. Just because you experienced abuse @ the hands of non-jw's does'nt mean that they are not abusive. As a matter of fact, they are. I'd HIGHLY suggest some counseling, and treatment for PTSD.

    I was just about to type something just like this, so I just won't type it again. With the sexist, sexual abuse of minors, the lies of doctrine, the incorrect belief of the 144,000, the flip flopping of Armeggedon, the fear and so much more, the only reason I can think someone wants to go back is because it is easier to do so. I can't walk anyone's path, but for a belief system to have harmed so many, not just sexually, but emotionally, I could never be apart of it.

  • Witness 007
    Witness 007

    Still not good enough reason to go back.......sorry about your bad luck but things can only improve........I find Witness love to be very fake and shallow.

  • B_Deserter
    B_Deserter

    I've been a faded JW for 10 years I left because of my failed first marriage, I'm no hypocrite and realised I had left completely so I embraced the world and dived in, Only christmas and birthdays I could not get into, they were too foreign to me having never celebrated them, like if I suddenly tried to do ramadan or something like that.

    1/ All the criticisms of the people in the truth you say on here, I've found in the world, warts and all only in the world nothing holds them back from being utterly horrible to you.

    Of course you can find all those criticisms in the world, where do you think the witnesses got them? Look, there are bad people in the world, that's a fact. Since you're not being very specific here, I can't go into any more detail, either.

    2/ I got stabbed by a worldly boyfriend, I got married 2 times of my own choosing to men outside the truth, the first smoked and was an alcoholic, the second gambled every penny we had and defrauded me out of money after we separated, 2 divorces later I am currently pregnant and a single mum since current boyfriend decided kids was to much of a responsibility and he needed his freedom and I was 'too selfish to expect him to give up his life'.

    I think you're falling victim to the "us versus them" mentality of the witnesses. You are using the lingo, calling your bad boyfriends "worldly" as if all non-witnesses are gambling alcoholics. I hate to say it, but the "truth" is no better than the "world." You can just as easily get married to an alcoholic Jehovah's Witness. It seems you're blaming all non-witnesses for your bad taste in men.

    3/ Parents-in-law! I have been shunned by them as equal to anything you accuse witness families of and for the silliest of reasons, I had a disabled son and his grandparents said they wanted nothing to do with him because they didn't want to become attached in case he died.

    That's their choice. Ask yourself why you really want a relationship with relatives who love a book publishing company more than you.

    4/ I miss the honest friendships of the truth, I had friends of all ages from 14 to 80 years old and they genuinely cared for me, many trying to keep me in the faith a long time after I left but I was determined to fade so moved away completely, but I find friendships in the world so shallow in comparison and very hard to sustain :( I've never been a drinker and sometimes thats what friendship means you being a companion for them to goto pub with.

    You did not have honest friendships in the truth. Real friends stick by you no matter what, and they don't drop you because you stop believing in their religion. If they "genuinely cared" for you, they'd still be your friends. All those people, ages 14 to 80 cared for you because they're required to. If it was anything more than that, again, they'd still care for you.

    5/ My recent boyfriend was in a christian religion, I thought why not find out about it, Harvest churches if you ever heard of them, unfortunately it still hasn't stop him leaving me pregnant and alone and when I said to him how does he clear that with God, he replies "As long as I repent it doesn't matter" it's like he has a "get out of jail free card" for any wrong-doing in the bible, this is so alien to me and my witness trained conscience.

    Then don't date people like him. That's the great thing about not being a witness: YOU HAVE CHOICES! All "worldly" people are NOT the same. They are NOT all evil. If you really looked, you'd find a lot of good.

    6/ I recently out of frustration tried looking into atheism and joined their forums, It wasn't fun, they are as bombastic and arrogant as their Religious counterparts can be from any religion, they make a religion out of not believing in God, It's very weird they talk of saving people from believing in god and offer nothing to replace it. They said to me "be happy you are in reality now and enjoy it" and I thought "well if this is reality I've had enough of it"

    Sorry to tell you this, but atheism isn't something you just "look into." Being a skeptic is about appreciating reality. It sounds like you're viewing atheism as a religion, it's not, it's the opposite of it. Also, not all atheists are the same. This is at least the third time you've made a broad generalization about people. You're looking for something to take the place of religion. Atheism doesn't do that. It's like that scene on the Matrix where Morpheus offers Neo the Red pill: "Remember, all I offer you is the truth, nothing more.

    So here I am feeling like the prodigal daughter and thinking being among warm-hearted if strict people who will accept me back and give me a sense of community again that I haven't seen in any other christian faith for all I've looked, has gotta be better than being shoved and shunned and used by people who have stopped caring for each other and only think of themselves. Your thoughts please?

    Remember that the people shunning you are the witnesses. Going back to the witnesses is like a battered wife going back to her abusive spouse. It's Stockholm syndrome of the worst kind.

  • oompa
    oompa

    007:

    Still not good enough reason to go back.......sorry about your bad luck but things can only improve........I find Witness love to be very fake and shallow.

    007....HA! some of the best love I ever had was fake and shallow!!!!!!!!!! yeehhaaa...........oompa

  • moshe
    moshe

    Go ahead and try it- see how long you can stand the brothers keeping you marked- actually you have to confess everything to them, go through the shunning df'd treatment, then after a year of groveling, they might let you back in- then starts the "they are watching me" stuff for a couple years to be sure you don't backslide or contaminate anyone with your worldly experiences/viewpoints. So yes, go ahead with this 5 year plan, if you like torture. In the end it all boils down to this, "Wherever you go, there you are" .

    Better yet, go get some counseling and see, if that doesn't work better for you.

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Sounds like the wt org would be a good crutch for you. However, problems like you described seem to follow us around, wherever we go. We attract, or are attracted to stuff in people that is similar to unfinished business that we have buried in our subconsciousses. Better to turn inward and dig that shit out, get rid of it, no matter how much it hurts. It can seem really tough, when you first start. However, i think that it's worth it. If you don't want to spring for a counseler, there are free things that can help, for instance, there is a group therapy association that is especially for mates of alchaholics. People in there help each other.

    S

  • IP_SEC
    IP_SEC

    Well I say, if thats what you want to do, think about it and make sure then go for it. Some people need the JW lifestyle to be able to think they are happy.

    Maybe you wont get stabbed again. I hope not. I also dont think the troubles you have had were related to whether or not you were a JW. But what would I know?

    peace out

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    Welcome to the board. I have not read all the replies ,but I am going to give my two cent on this ...I hope I dont hurt your feelings ( as I am wont to do at times)
    you said>I left the truth myself 10 years ago ....I am sorry it is not ,never was, & never will be the truth... It is the lie. Seems to me YOU like I ....have made many foolish moves in your life. that have given much heartache. For which I am very sorry for you... Now my advice .....GO BACK !!! If it is the only place you have found true LOVE!!!! then go back to it., Sounds as if you need "Mother" to tell you what to do, how to do it, & when to do it. I am truly not trying to be unkind. If you have met no one in the world with love & many in the organization that did love you,,,,why would you NOT go back????
    But in my old age .. I have come to think my creator gave me a brain to think.... but Wt tells you you MUST not think independently... What ever you do. I wish you happiness in what ever you decide

    Mouthy

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit