You might be a JW if...
by Seven 54 Replies latest social humour
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waiting
Hey Seven!
Thanks! So much truth in the humor. Been there - to almost all of them.
14. If the newspaper headlines read "All humans on earth are smashed, and destroyed on Christmas day. Only JW's survive!!" and this would brings joy to your heart, you'd be a JW
More true than we'd like to believe.
17. If you are a male and sitting in a Kingdom Hall when a very good looking young lady comes in in a mini skirt, and your first thought is, "How immodest that sister is!" rather than,"Oh THANK GOD!!", then most likely you're a jdub
I'm assuming this one to be very true....
waiting
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larc
you might be a JW if:
you take a mouse away from your cat so that it won't eat blood
you tell "worldly people" that you give your kids presents all year long, but not on birthdays, and the only thing you do give them are school clothes and supplies
you think "tact" is not lying
LARC
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Seven
larc, Your additions are very good.
Seven
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RedhorseWoman
larc, great additions. Anybody remember the big uproar about not using fertilizer that contained blood meal? That always seemd pretty ridiculous, since blood was supposed to be poured out on the ground....but if you deliberately fertilized your plants with it, it was wrong.
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larc
You might be a young male JW if:
You read the Song of Solomon or what constitutes a sex crime in Deuteronomy
when the rest of the congregation is reading other scriptures.You lust after an attractive female, no matter how she is dressed. (This may happen in other religions as well.)
You want to become an elder some day so you can ask people exlicit questions about their sex lives.
You would like to go out with a "wordly girl" so you could .. ah .. well.. mm.. bring her into the truth.
You think about sex when you are at a boring meeting. (This is a characteristic of all bored young men, so don't cast asparagus, I mean don't cast aspersions on them for this fault.
LARC
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waiting
Hey larc,
You might be a jw if you think holding hands is sexual foreplay.
You might be a jw if you think you're engaged if you put your arm around a girl during the meetings.
You also might be a jw if you think the phrase "the meetings" means religious worship gatherings.
Your next.
waiting
Edited by - waiting on 9 December 2000 14:56:44
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waiting
Hey larc,
You read the Song of Solomon or what constitutes a sex crime in Deuteronomy when the rest of the congregation is reading other scriptures.
My sons did that during the meetings? I swear.....
waiting
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waiting
Come Back, larc!
It's lonesome in here......
You might be a jw if you don't give your old clothes to a charitable organization for the poor because you don't want to be guilty of contributing to Babylon the Great.
You might be a jw if you sneak your old clothes to the Salvation Army anyway - because you don't want to get caught helping another religious organization, but you feel it's shameful to throw clothes away which the poor could use.
We are sooooooo off-base sometimes. Btw, the Goodwill Organization is not a religious group. But they don't have a base where I live.
Many local jw's will throw their clothes away rather than contribute to the Salvation Army and help the poor.
"Let the dead bury the dead."
waiting
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larc
Waiting,
You said your sons did that...I did that myself!
Everyone,
I think I have sinned. Part of my e-mail address is thor, which is part of my last name. It just dawned on me that THOR was a pagan God. Should I discuss this with the elders? Please help me, before I blow my brains out with my father's 45.
You might be a young witness in good standing if you have never heard of the importance of: the Nepolionic Wars, the Great Pryamid, or Beth Sarim.
You might be a JW if you think that a good time on a date is underlining paragraphs together.
LARC