You might be a JW if...

by Seven 54 Replies latest social humour

  • waiting
    waiting

    Hey y'all,

    You might be a jw if you won't accept Christmas stamps from the post office worker - who then glares and looks for non-pagan ones for you.

    Java, we have an intro thread started "Hello? Hello? Hello?" to get to know old (like Red) and new residents herein. Just read larc's post and Red's - care to join over there?

    Btw, went to your website - thanks for the information. Ohio, eh? I'm originally from Indiana. Red's way up there. Hey larc! Where are you residing?

    Nice to meet you.

    waiting

  • larc
    larc

    Waiting, I live in a bomb shelter waiting for the end of the world, actualy, JAVA and I live in the same city, and are good friends. I met him when he first came out. Early on, we spent many Sunday afternoons drinking coffee and talking about all the stuff in our heads....JAVA and I have several things in common: we both work for coffee, we both like Yellow Springs (my yongest daughter, the one that grandma thought was demon possessed, see my posting under new truths, has a health food store there) and JAVA and I both have warped minds, you might ask him to send you are recent coorespondence, if he saved them, I should have but didn't.

    Story about my daughter: One day when Jan and I were out, my daughter, who was on her way out as well met JWs at the door, she told them that her parents used to be part of it, but found that "truth comes from all directions, remember Jah loves." "Oh, and I'll be glad to take you magazines; thank you" and off to her car she went (Jah loves is a Rosta term my daughter learned on St. Croix where she lived for two years, "ya, maun"

  • larc
    larc

    I just got a scare. I looked up on my Web tv, where the globe turns and the green line goes across the screen; underneath it read "contacting publisher". I thought that the WT had tapped my line and had assigned someone to knock on my door. Well, if they do I'll just tell them that I'm busy now. I'm in the back room preparing to sacrifice a goat and drink its blood.

  • JAVA
    JAVA

    waiting: Thanks for the link to "Hello? Hello? Hello?" I just posted my bio there. Yes, larc and I live in the same area of Ohio. He was a great help to me when I first came out, and still married to the Witness who reported me to the elders for voting for a local school levy. [>:(]

  • waiting
    waiting

    hey y'all,

    I was born/raised in Indpls., - used to take my kids over to King's Island at least once a year. And the Cincinnati Zoo. I know it's not like a real jungle setting - but then the inner city of Indpls. is. (I lived in the 60's suburbia - turned raunchy 70's area.)

    I came into the org. in 1968. I was raised Catholic, met a drug-taking jw guy, he was studying "coming back into org." - the pioneer conducting showed me there was no hellfire - I kept on reading with them - 3 yrs., then baptised.

    We got married somewhere in that time period.

    Nice to see you two here - and fun to have real life friends sparring - like a tagteam without defensiveness for each other.

    Like a midget at a urinal I have to stay on my toes. Leslie Nielsen

    For you guys. I'm a woman.

    waiting

  • RedhorseWoman
    RedhorseWoman
    For you guys. I'm a woman.

    So, then, waiting, what are you for us women? (hehehehe)

  • waiting
    waiting

    Hey Red,

    For women everywhere: In a world without men, there would be no crime and a lot of fat happy women. Nicole Hollander

    And for you: If I die I'm sorry for all the bad things I did to you. And if I live I'm sorry for all the bad things I'm going to do to you. Roy Scheider

    And for any man reading this post: Man is the second strangest sex in the world. Philip Barry

    waiting

  • larc
    larc

    hey waiting,

    "lighten up, don't tighten up" - Richard Pryor.
    You should read "A Complete guide to Guys" by Dave Barry. "For those of you who like this kind of book, this is a book you'll like." - Mark Twain. So far, all of my quotes are out of my head, of course, you already knew that I was "out of my head", I've got to get me a book of quotes. Like you, I have a hostility towards authority, and of course, most of it is male. My sister once told my wife that I left because of my hostility towards authority. My wife concurred, and pointed out that the very old JW books had an influence as well. My sister sucked in her breath and abruptly changed the subject, her mind suddenly went shut as it often does. Hard to believe that she was valadictorian of her high school class.

    Well, I must be off. There again you already knew that I was "off".

  • waiting
    waiting

    Hey larc,

    I enjoy good humor, wherever I can find it. Found this great little book of quotes by all kinds of people - all funny, most sarcastic. My kind of humor.

    Seems like most Americans have the same warped sense of humor - and Australians.

    I have a close Canadian friend - somewhat serious fellow. This one describes him:

    Canadians are generally indistinguishable from Americans and the surest way of telling the two apart is to make this obsrvation to a Canadian. Richard Starnes

    Like uhhhhhhh! I can speak proper English when I want. It would just take so much effort.

    waiting

    Edited by - waiting on 17 December 2000 14:9:29

  • Simon
    Simon

    Canadian: un-armed Americans with health-care...

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