Diary of a thinking to return ex-Jw

by reniaa 223 Replies latest jw experiences

  • drew sagan
    drew sagan

    reniaa, you said

    I thought long and hard about posting this but the mis-information on this site finally persuaded me, I already accept many may not accept what I say on face value and get their appologist pens ready for making sure no pro-witness propaganda slips through the net on this site but here goes......

    To be perfectly clear, I personally have never nor would ever base my decision to join/leave a religion based upon information found on one internet forum. There is lots of great information here, there is lots of bad. I personally feel there was a lot better information and discussion here 1-2 years ago, but people have to move on and there is nothing you can do about it. JWD is absolutely not the be all end all.

    Result! she came back this week and said "all I had to do was goto meetings again" and an offer of a study was there for me if i wanted it to explore the open doubts that I had expressed i now had.

    Again my guess is that many here have stated that you would be in big trouble if you went back. As can be found on most internet boards, people tend to spout off about the 'facts' when in actuality certain things are actually unknown. I know why many here would say such things, and to a point they are justified in their viewpoint. At the end of the day though what really may come about in a particular situation is never an exact science. I know Elder bodies that would have treated a person like you very poorly, but then turned around and treated the next person that came through the door very nice. The past may follow you, it may not. Speculation about what could happen is just that, speculation.

    I think the bigger picture here is that the treatment you receive when/if you do return doesn't really prove anything about the Jehovah's Witness religion.

    I've known nice Jehovah's Witnesses and I have known ones that are not so nice. To me they are like most people I have met, no better no worse. Just folks.

    I left the Jehovah's WItnesses because after a close and detailed study of there religions history I came to the conclusion that the divine power of God was not exclusively guiding these people. I realized that the stories their magazines spout off as truth, such as an invisible Jesus Christ choosing them in the year 1919, were just stories. Tales that were constructed that give weight to the movement and help solidify it as a major religion. WIthout these stories they would be just another group of fringe protestants, with these stories they are able to put themselves at the center of the divine plan. Many things they teach about themselves never really tells us anything about God at all. They are legends, used to establish the JW faith. Nothing more, nothing less.

    Of course to understand Jehovah's Witnesses history as nothing divine in origin, but instead in purely rational terms puts you on the outside of their faith. The Watchtower is only interested in members who believe wholesale the information they give, including all of the teachings they have that point to themselves as the only true restored religion on earth.

    Long ago I realized that while JWs always say they use 'nothing but the Bible' it became very clear to me that the certainly do. It is simply not possible to prove using the Bible alone that Jesus Christ visited the Watchtower headquarters in 1919 and subsequently chose the leaders he found as the foundation for his restored church. I challenge any JW to prove this using the Bible alone. The truth of the matter is that you can only come to such teachings by using the BIble alone as well as interpreting that Bible through the lens of a Jehovah's Witness who supplements the Bible with Watchtower history.

    To me it is very obvious that such things are fabrications which show a reality the Watchtower wishes to be true, rather than a desire to actually find what really is true.

  • R.Crusoe
    R.Crusoe

    Mary is spot on:

    Being a JW stops you connecting with society!

    Also they often target those who happen to have gotten alienated from society - the same happened to me aged 18 when mum threw me out ( I wasn't a witness) but I broke off from school friends and all those in my neighborhood! 25 years on I still haven't seen them!!

    So JWs will be your substitute society and that about sums up what they amount to!

    Finding real people to network with is tough. Why? Because any group you connect with will have a history together - a closeness that alienates you and you feel you will never develop (how can you replicate the friendship of those having known each other for life?) and it is this that JWs rob people of and offer a dilluted substitite for.

    Being in a place of no answers is like I've said before = no mans land of Crusoe on his island. Acceptance of it is good and then welcoming new people is better. I think that's where its at? Wishing for lifelong soulbonds is delusional - a dream of mine that didn't happen btw!

    Whatever you select I hope you can be chilled and comforted with - criticisms sometimes affect our pain bodies and force ego in us to choose for us instead of the inner person that we each are taking its stand!

  • Guest with Questions
    Guest with Questions

    Renaia: shortly after submitting my previous post I had this feeling that this was all a set up. I sincerely apologize if I’m wrong. The whole scenerio seems odd to me.

    Both you and your sister were born in. You both get pregnant out of wedlock. She wants to get you out of the org. You’re thinking of going back in because you have found out that the world has nothing for you; that it’s morally bankrupt. You stepped out of a safe environment and look what it got you. The world seduced and corrupted you. The org is the only place where you feel loved, the only place that has the truth, sincerety, depth. Christians aren’t deep and don’t read and follow the bible.

    Could this be a set up to try and convince others to go back; that there will be no repurcussions and the org will welcome them back with open arms, where they will be loved, accepted and protected from the bad world, where all you see is moral decay. Only they have real love. They may be strict, but at least they aren’t selfish.

    If you read the scriptures that I posted did you not get a sense that the org might be seriously wrong? Are you accepting the org’s word that they are the truth, or have you come to that conclusion on your own by reading the bible?

    Jesus is the truth. No one church has a monopoly on the truth. I think for the most part mainline churches are in agreement on the really important doctrine. We are all brothers and sisters in Christ. It’s up to each individual to seek truth. I feel that the org is way off, so way off that I don’t consider it a Christian organization. If you truly read your bible without JW blinders, praying for guidance and protection, you would see it for yourself.

    Please take care. I hope only the best for you and your children.

    ps You haven't mentioned if you had your baby yet, or did I miss it.

  • real one
    real one

    If you read the scriptures that I posted did you not get a sense that the org might be seriously wrong? Are you accepting the org’s word that they are the truth, or have you come to that conclusion on your own by reading the bible?

    Jesus is the truth. No one church has a monopoly on the truth. I think for the most part mainline churches are in agreement on the really important doctrine. We are all brothers and sisters in Christ. It’s up to each individual to seek truth. I feel that the org is way off, so way off that I don’t consider it a Christian organization. If you truly read your bible without JW blinders, praying for guidance and protection, you would see it for yourself.

    The problem with the wts is not that they are wrong because none of us are perfect. The problem is that when their members bring this to their attention it is not welcome and the members are punished some to the point of df. Thats the problem. why not admit your wrong and continue on?

  • real one
    real one

    Being in a place of no answers is like I've said before = no mans land of Crusoe on his island. Acceptance of it is good and then welcoming new people is better. I think that's where its at? Wishing for lifelong soulbonds is delusional - a dream of mine that didn't happen btw

    you don't want to necessarily hang out with everyone you meet anyway. were there not some jw that you didn't want to hang with?

  • real one
    real one

    Christian religions that just follow jesus and don't look to closely to his words other than forgiveness don't appeal to me with their people-pleasing wishy-washiness.

    To Following God you must know his son. The only references I remember the wts making to Jesus was the memorial and the greatest man book which took away his deity

    You speak of following Jesus yet if you read the entire Bible who is spoken of nt and ot. JESUS!

    Matthew 11:27
    My Father has given me everything, and he is the only one who knows the Son. The only one who truly knows the Father is the Son. But the Son wants to tell others about the Father, so that they can know him too.

    John 8:19
    "Where is your Father?" they asked. "You don't knowme or my Father!" Jesus answered. "If you knew me, you would know my Father."

    John 14:7
    If you had known me, you would have known the Father. But from now on, you do know him, and you have seen him."

    John 14:9
    Jesus replied: Philip, I have been with you for a long time. Don't you know who I am? If you have seen me, you have seen the Father. How can you ask me to show you the Father?

    John 16:3
    They will do these things because they don't know either the Father or me.

    These are some of the scriptures that tell you why CHRISTIANS speak of Jesus so much. Not to mention the fact that he is our SAVIOR sent by the Father.

    Hebrews 1:8

    When God brings his first-born Son [ b ] into the world, he commands all of his angels to worship him. 7 And when God speaks about the angels, he says,

    "I change my angels into wind

    and my servants

    into flaming fire."

    8 But God says about his Son,

    "You are God,

    and you will rule

    as King forever!

    Your [ c ] royal power brings about justice.

    8 Christ was humble.

    He obeyed God

    and even died

    on a cross.

    9 Then God gave Christ

    the highest place

    and honored his name

    above all others.

    10 So at the name of Jesus

    everyone will bow down,

    those in heaven, on earth,

    and under the earth.

    11 And to the glory

    of God the Father

    everyone will openly agree,

    "Jesus Christ is Lord!"

  • Finally-Free
  • real one
    real one

    have you been to this site? www.jwfacts.com

  • diamondblue1974
    diamondblue1974

    I faded from Jw's 10/11 years ago now I left my hubby at the time divorced him to going on to have more relationships and kids, I was definately given the impression after asking on this site and with what I read that if I tried to return I might face DF or at least a JC but definately a couple of elders questioning me over what i've been upto these last few years - None of these have happened

    I talked with an old JW friend (yes i do have then and she never shunned me quite happily accepted an offer of coffee from me and my asking for a chat) I told her i was interested in going back and was very frank about what I done in the last 10 years but not sure how returning was done now, she quite happily said she go ask for me to find out.

    Result! she came back this week and said "all I had to do was goto meetings again" and an offer of a study was there for me if i wanted it to explore the open doubts that I had expressed i now had.

    not quite the fire and brimstone welcome this site led me to believe would happen.

    I will keep you posted with further updates if I feel the need to put them in future.

    Peoples experiences differ somewhat and much will depend on how you approach your doubts and how (as they put it) 'humble' you are. For me they couldnt answer my questions without further questions appearing and nothing seemed clear so instead of just ignoring those doubts I explored them further and of course I wasnt afraid to call bullshit when I saw it or putting it a little more politely, when their explanations didnt make sense I was prepared to tell them so and ask them to validate their points further.

    In my discussions I was always very polite, respectful and very mild mannered with them so when I was counselled that I was asking 'apostate questions' and it was said that I 'didnt have the right heart condition' to understand the answers I was incredibly insulted to be honest. What is so wrong with asking questions? Why the reluctance to answer them properly and clearly?

    I understood that continuing to be a Jehovahs Witness must fundamentally involve accepting doctrine and organisational practices blindly and I further then knew that my days would be numbered if I persisted on with my line of questioning. Their answers might well satisfy someone who does not have the capacity for critical thinking but they certainly didnt satisfy my thirst for knowledge and my ability to challenge them when things didnt make sense.

    I also have read your posts of late and notice quite considerably that your viewpoints are very pro JW and not at all as objective as you make out - this being said it is each to their own and largely the information you will read here is entirely subjective based on individual experience. Naturally that will differ from poster to poster and it is entirely unrealistic to think for one minute that there will be a uniformity of opinion or experience. To interpret this as 'misinformation' is both short sighted and plain lunacy.

    I would admit that often when you see the sheer anger, rage, resentment, hurt, fear and isolation in a posters comments, it is off putting but those experiences are very real to the individuals recounting them. When you peel back the layers however and look through these emotions you will see answers that you might find difficult to handle given your strong association with the witnesses. You might not want to see those answers and might want to ignore them and if truth be told, we have all been there, and when you too are in that place think about the messages you have seen so far and try to understand.

    Theres an old saying 'try to understand before trying to being understood' - or words to similar effect.

    Bright Blessings on your journey!

    G /|\

  • chikikie
    chikikie

    Lol becky, you've been 'going back for years......' its easier said than done tho.

    Im now embracing a life without the org, I mean I had a really good go at the JW life and was not accepted and made to feel it also..... unspoken. I didnt see this great love that marked the JWS and when your an outsider always an outsider, there not gonna embrace me back, they will for a while whilst they can count their ministry time talking to you but after that you go back to being lonely and alone.

    Go back to being just a number Becky but Im out and out for good.

    PS if the person who asked about Beckys Baby looks into my old posts they will see that I posted a congradulations for her baby Elisabeth

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